Write to Think

Expectations for 2012

2011-12-29T09:54:00.000-08:00

Another year of reading through the Bible finishes with Zechariah and Revelation! Hallelujah! He has a plan that finishes well. Since my emphasis in reading this year was to mark every place that teaches the Sovereignty of God, you can only imagine how marked up my One Year Bible is. But, the point is that I have been thinking back over all that has happened in just this one year and praising God that He is sovereign over all.

Psa 31:15 in NLT says "My future is in your hands." Looking back to record heat in Oklahoma leaving drought conditions, the tsunami/earthquake in Japan, terrible tornadoes in the Southern states, a godly friend being murdered, prayer lists of many suffering with various diseases, economic instability in many countries, and even the dismantling of dictators in Egypt and Libya, I am extremely encouraged by the truth that God is sovereign and my future is in HIS hands!!

Since I joined the ranks of Senior citizens on Medicare, along with my other Beginner Baby Boomers of 1946, the reality of "life is short" hits home a bit more emphatically. But the same breath of any sense of life closing in on me is counterbalanced with a deepening sense and awe of my friendship and fulfillment in Christ. Experiencing His Presence ~ the one true God who is our strong one, all-powerful, exalted above all ~ brings such depth of peace amidst a troubling world that I truly delight in the thought of what He has for me in this next year of 2012. (After all, wasn't it only a couple of years ago everyone was panicked by Y-2K????)

Psa 46:1 - "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear." That verse hung on the walls of the homes where I grew up. Every time we moved, that framed reminder was hung in a prominent place. Those words were embedded in my mind before I was even aware of what they meant. And a second bedrock verse for me as a child was Psa 56:3 "What time I am afraid, I will put my trust in You." No wonder I live in the place of what the Psalmist said in 112:7.."(S)he does not fear bad news nor live in dread of what may happen; for (s)he is settled in her mind that Jehovah will take care of her."

And because "Our God sits in the heavens and He does as He wishes." (Psa 115:3), I can with joy and non-defensively proclaim "My future is in Your hands!" Don't let me set my heart --my basic expectations-- on anything less than You in 2012!!

2011-11-14T12:53:00.000-08:00

The American Christmas
All... thought you would appreciate this; nothing funny or political. Just a thoughtful approach for an American Christmas!

Christmas 2011 -- Birth of a New Tradition

As the holidays approach, the giant Asian factories are kicking into high gear to provide Americans with monstrous piles of cheaply produced goods -- merchandise that has been produced at the expense of American labor! This year will be different. This year Americans will give the gift of genuine concern for other Americans. There is no longer an excuse that, at gift giving time, nothing can be found that is produced by American hands.
Yes there is!

It's time to think outside the box, people. Who says a gift needs to fit in a shirt box, wrapped in Chinese produced wrapping paper? Everyone -- yes EVERYONE gets their hair cut. How about gift certificates from your local American hair salon or barber?

Gym membership? It's appropriate for all ages who are thinking about some health improvement.

Who wouldn't appreciate getting their car detailed? Small, American owned detail shops and car washes would love to sell you a gift certificate or a book of gift certificates.

Are you one of those extravagant givers who think nothing of plunking down the Benjamin’s on a Chinese made flat-screen? Perhaps that grateful gift receiver would like his driveway sealed, or lawn mowed for the summer, or driveway plowed all winter, or games at the local golf course.

There are a bazillion owner-run restaurants -- all offering gift certificates. And, if your intended isn't the fancy eatery sort, what about a half dozen breakfasts at the local breakfast joint. Remember, folks this isn't about big National chains -- this is about supporting your home town Americans with their financial lives on the line to keep their doors open.

How many people couldn't use an oil change for their car, truck or motorcycle, done at a shop run by the American working guy?

Thinking about a heartfelt gift for mom? Mom would LOVE the services of a local cleaning lady for a day.

My computer could use a tune-up, and I KNOW I can find some young guy who is struggling to get his repair business up and running.

OK, you were looking for something more personal. Local crafts people spin their own wool and knit them into scarves. They make jewelry, and pottery and beautiful wooden boxes.

Plan your holiday outings at local, owner operated restaurants and leave your server a nice tip. And, how about going out to see a play or ballet at your hometown theatre.

Musicians need love too, so find a venue showcasing local bands.

Honestly, people, do you REALLY need to buy another ten thousand
Chinese lights for the house? When you buy a five dollar string of lights, about fifty cents stays in the community. If you have those kinds of bucks to burn, leave the mailman, trash guy or a babysitter a nice BIG tip.

You see, Christmas is no longer about draining American pockets so that China can build another glittering city. Christmas is now about caring about US, encouraging American small businesses to keep plugging away to follow their dreams. And, when we care about other Americans, we care about our communities, and the benefits come back to us in ways we couldn't imagine.

THIS is the new American Christmas tradition.

Forward this to everyone on your mailing list -- post it to discussion groups -- throw up a post on Craigslist in the Rants and Raves section in your city -- send it to the editor of your local paper and radio stations and TV news departments. This is a revolution of caring about each other, and isn't that what Christmas is about?

Oswald Says SO!

2011-03-07T07:06:00.000-08:00

This morning I was reading "My Utmost For His Highest" by Oswald Chambers once again. And I was struck by what he said as coinciding with what I have been trying to communicate with all that Monty and I have been experiencing these past three years.

I quote: "The surf that distresses the ordinary swimmer produces in the surf-rider the super-joy of going clean through it. Apply that to our own circumstances, these very things--tribulation, distress, persecution, produce in us the super-joy; they are not things to fight. We are more than conquerors through Him in all these things, not in spite of them, but in the midst of them. The saint never knows the joy of the LORD in spite of tribulation, but because of it--'I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation,' says Paul."

RO 8:37 "Nay, in all these things, we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us."

Rejoice In The Lord

2011-03-05T20:20:00.000-08:00

One of the greatest blessings in my life has been learning to live in the reality of Phil 4:4..... Paul's inspired words of exhortation to "Rejoice in the Lord always."! Years of life experiences have afforded me innumerable opportunities to "trust and obey" this verse over and over and thus receive the freedom that comes from such truth!

Many of you know the journey God has been orchestrating for Monty and me the past three years with the many visits to the Oklahoma Heart Hospital. In fact, it was exactly three years ago last week. There were many days/nights when we found ourselves saying goodbye to one another and still finding ourselves rejoicing in the Lord for His faithfulness to us, making His Presence known to us with His peace and comfort..

Well, this past episode of three hospitalizations in a month has been no exception to that experience. And so after hearing some encouraging news yesterday from the Heart Failure Specialist it is not surprising that our response would have been to "Rejoice in the Lord!". Rejoicing in Him and His faithfulness has become our way of life.

The good news is that Monty is doing better because the AV Node ablation that was done two months ago. He's better than he has been in several months! His ventricles are being 100% paced which is giving him a more consistent beat. Instead of giving him a prescription for another medicine, he gave him one for physical therapy which will help him in strengthening and in balance and coordination!!

So, I joyfully share this with the many of you who have been faithfully praying for us throughout this journey! You, too, may also Rejoice in the Lord!

Directing My Steps

2011-01-08T12:42:00.001-08:00

Once again the urge to put in writing what I have been experiencing of late has overtaken me. It is not clear at this point exactly which direction I will be taking, and so the last thing I will do is title this post.

I think I need to say that I am a bit surprised at the response of people to my reaction to the serious decline in Monty's health. Some seem to be worried that I am not dealing with my emotions honestly and am stuffing. However, the opposite is true. In fact, it has been our mode of communication pretty much the whole of our 44 years of marriage to talk openly and bluntly about our circumstances, no matter how difficult it might be.

As many of you know, Monty had a serious heart attack, with 6 other heart events in the following days almost three years ago. (Feb 27-Mar 11, 2008 - see previous posts for details.) Since that time we have been so blessed by God's grace in allowing us to do some amazing things: hike up and repel down a cliff, hike throughout the Tetons in Jackson, WY, Yellowstone, and even take a trip to Spain. In and around all of this also have been frequent trips to the Heart Hospital because of various setbacks and crises that needed one procedure or another(14 times). And through all of this, we have both accepted the fact that God is sovereign over the day of our death as much as the day of our birth.
Well, back to the issue at hand................we are in the Heart Hospital once again (the 15th time). His health was declining rapidly in recent weeks and more specifically in the past 7-10 days before we came in here on Thursday (Jan.6). He had admitted to me that he felt like his life was on a rheostat and that someone was turning the lights off.................that his life was just being drained out of him. It was not only his own observation of how he felt, but all of us around him saw the visual manifestations of his deterioration.

When people would ask me how I was doing, some would have a look of disbelief when I said "I am fine, doing very well!" It was as though they think I am in denial of our situation and how serious it is. [A friend (who believes me) recently asked me what kind of response I get from people when I tell them that.] But, the reality is that I am exactly as I should be after walking intimately with Jesus for nearly 50 years. Throughout these years, confidence in Him grew such that “we do not live in dread nor fear bad news, for we know that our Jehovah will take care of us.” (Psa 112:7)

And, in fact, Monty loves to take every opportunity the LORD gives him to tell others that he does not fear death but actually looks forward to what the LORD has in store for him. His confidence is in all that Jesus has done for him, in him and through him. And that sometimes takes some doctors aback!! I admire so much Monty's integrity and openness to talk with me about our situation and all that is happening to me as it happens to him. I have a friend whose husband has had multiple physical changes that have deteriorated his capacity to function in many ways, which has been hard enough. But the worst part for her has been that he doesn't communicate with her about it all.

Today when he was sleeping the chaplain came and visited with me about his situation and how I was doing, counseling me to be sure to take care of myself and not be afraid to cry or show emotions (which I interpreted to mean breakdown whenever someone talks to me about his dying.) Well, after I went back in my ancient history and shared with her how God has prepared me for such a time as this throughout my life, holding Monty, our children, our grandchildren with an open hand…………..so that He doesn’t have to pry my fingers open to release them. I sensed that she doubted at first that I really had a handle on the reality of the seriousness of all of this……………..but by the time she left, God had allowed me the privilege of sharing with her my confidence in him. So, tapping my arm gently as she was leaving, she added that she thought I would be fine.

That was well and good, but my assurance and peace and joy do not come from the affirmations of others. It comes from years of believing and living Pr 3:5&6.
Today I read in My Utmost For His Highest, by Oswald Chambers: “It is a joy to Jesus when a disciple takes time to step more intimately with Him………… When once we get intimate with Jesus we are never lonely, we never need sympathy, we can pour out all the time without being pathetic. The saint who is intimate with Jesus will never leave impressions of himself, but only the impression that Jesus is having unhindered way, because the last abyss of his nature has been satisfied by Jesus. The only impression left by such a life is that of the strong calm sanity that Our LORD gives to those who are intimate with Him.”

I am “trusting in the LORD with ALL my heart and not leaning on my own understanding; in all my ways, I am acknowledging Him (making Christ known). And He is directing my steps.”

In the Name of the LORD

2010-09-22T16:55:00.000-07:00

Studying the Gospel of John this semester has been such a blessing to me!! I love how truth that I thought I have "learned" in the past takes on a new value and even a new facet when observed again and again. Such has been the case this past week while working on John 5. The opposition against Jesus started because He was doing something that the religious people thought was "irreligious". When questioned about it, Jesus gave them some new things to learn. They, the religious leaders, couldn't get it. Most "religious people" don't get it.

For many years in my Christian walk, I didn't get it either. I thought "I" had to do what God had commanded. I thought that was what made me a "good Christian". I had made it about me!!! When Jesus answered them when they questioned Him about healing the lame man on the Sabbath, they didn't get it. They would NEVER break the Sabbath. That would be not doing what God had commanded.

Now, I knew that Jesus was my example, but I always used to say, "But He was GOD!!" I am not and I can't obey the way He did. Well, all of this is to say that He did show us how to obey. Jn 5:19....."The Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner." There it is. It isn't that Jesus wasn't capable of doing anything on His own. He is God. So obviously, He could have done anything on His own. BUT He chose to cooperate fully with the Father, doing, going, working only as the Father worked through Him. Later, Jesus states it in vs 43..."I have come in My Father's name....."!

Jn 5:17 tells them the reason He healed on the Sabbath and told the man to take his pallet and walk was because the Father was working through the Son, Who was in complete surrender to His Father. It was the Father's will that the lame man be healed on the Sabbath. IT is His authority that Jesus obeyed, even when it didn't look right to anyone else. In other words, He and His Father were in total cooperation. This is what it means to do something "in the name of God". The LORD Jesus is driving home the point to us that when we do something in God's name, we are fully cooperative with God. Whatever we do will look like, act like, smell like, be like Him because He is the One in control of our lives.

And that can only happen when we are in a covenant relationship with Jesus. Then as Jesus was to the Father, submissive to Him, in full cooperation with Him and His initiative, so are we to Jesus. Jn 5:30 Jesus tells us that He allowed the Father to initiate and He cooperated 100% with the Father. And then as the Father was to Jesus, so Jesus is to us. He does His work through us as we are fully cooperative with Him. Mt 11:28-29 comes to mind as describing this kind of relationship with Jesus. IT is a rest when I let God initiate and I cooperate. He is leading the "yoke" and I am cooperating with Him. "My sheep hear MY voice and they follow ME."

I think that for far too many years, I was following a lot of other voices that were telling me what I was supposed to be doing for God "as a good Christian should"! I was abiding.....in my works-oriented flesh! And not in the True Vine!! It had man's glory tagged all over it and not His glory.

Here is a great quote from Wayne Barber: "Jesus said, 'I have come in the name of My Father'. Now the thing that grabs me about Jesus, equal to the Father. He never was anything less than God.....lived as if He was never anything more than man....but submissive to the will of His Father. He had chosen to live this way! Why? It's so you and I could understand what it is like to live the Christian life. You see, the Father continues to initiate. But now He communicates to us what that will is and through the power of the Spirit, He enables us to do whatever God tells us to do."

I think the thing that amazes me the most is that so many believers in the LORD Jesus Christ as the Son of God, the Christ, God in flesh, Who came that we might have everlasting life in Him think that they can do something to either keep this salvation going or lose it!!! It is so obviously ALL of His grace and none of me!! Praise His name!! Eph 2:8-10. Go "in the name of the LORD"!

Writing

2010-07-23T18:34:00.000-07:00

I am learning some things about myself, especially the last few days. I used to think I could write. It began nearly fifty years ago when I was a young teen-ager, or maybe even before that, when I first started keeping a diary.

But, recently I have come to see that I am not really a "writer". Oh, that doesn't mean that I don't write.......because I do and I have most of my life. But the past few days I went off to a cabin at a lake to work on a book........a biography of a one-of-a-kind saint. She was such a rare person and I miss her a lot. She turned 95 on June 28 and then went "home" to her many friends and family who have been waiting a long time for her to get there. But mostly, she is with the One she longed to see..........pretty much all of her life.....her precious LORD and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Back to my point about not being a writer! I have discovered that it is not very easy to put down words on a paper that adequately equate an amazing woman who did it right!! Lived well. Loved well. Finished well. I found it much harder than I imagined it would be to tell her story/stories.....many of which I knew so well. The right words eluded me when I tried to described her sweetness, her kindness to all, her joyfulness and her thankful heart. It is clear in my mind....because I saw it and experienced those attributes in various settings with her.

I think I had some self-deception about being able to just write what I knew and thought and loved about her. A writer ought to be able to do that!!

"Have you praised the LORD today?"

2010-06-27T20:13:00.000-07:00

The other day I was visiting with my dear friend, whom I treasure and am so blessed to know. Kay Larsen (I have mentioned her before is previous posts) will be 95 tomorrow. The LORD willing, a few of us are going to take her out to lunch for her favorite............lamb........and to celebrate her life. And when we were visiting last time that day, the conversation went to the LORD and His goodness, as it often does with her.

Our hearts are knit together and all the more when we talk about worshiping, praising, exalting, & honoring the LORD all the day. It is so humbling to me that she allows me the privilege of writing her story and visiting with her about her life, humbling because she walks so closely to the LORD and is always concerned about others knowing and enjoying Him like she does. She is about her Father's business................much like Jesus was all the days of His life. As we were dialoguing about being an anbassador for His kingdom, the subject came up about why don't people praise Him instead of complain about what He is or isn't doing!!

And typically, our conversation went to His amazing grace and incredible gift of salvation that cost Him greatly. As we continued in this deep conversation, a mutual friend came by to see her. He, not knowing anything about our conversation, proceeded to share with me that Kay taught him to praise the LORD. He so humbly spoke about the times he would struggle with worry or depression and would talk to Kay and her question to him was, "_______, have you praised the LORD today?" And with a chagrin, he sadly admitted that he had not. After a few times of this kind of brief conversation with her (many years ago), he began to make praising the LORD a habit of his day. His worries lessened, his bouts of depression diminshed or were very short-lived, and his heart was renewed day by day! With such deep affection and appreciation for her, he leaned over and kissed her forehead, patted her on the cheek and told her how much she had done for him.

Kay never in a million years would have told me that story, but the LORD wanted me to hear it........first-hand!! It was the visual aid to the very conversation we were having, which was "Why in the world, do Christians not get it!! That it is all about praising the LORD!!!"

So, I ask you.............."Have you praised the LORD today?"

Help, LORD!

2010-06-22T13:17:00.000-07:00

Recently, well in the past several months at least, a recurring theme in conversations with other believers has been how hard things are. So many are struggling more than in years past...........and in many different arenas.

For some it is focused in finances, especially job related......so many out of work and looking for something!! Anything!!! For others, it is the cost of living going up but not the income.

Another common thread is that of aging parents and all of the many issues that come with that, not the least of which is relocation for them??!!! There are so many questions raised and very few, if any, easy answers. How did it happen that we now see "retirement VILLAGES......nursing HOMES...........senior COMMUNITIES" on corners and blocks everywhere we turn? I have no idea the amount of monies going into this "Senior" industry, but it must be huge!!

Often the discussions are centered on hard health issues, either personal ones, or spouse, or children, or other loved ones, or friends' loved ones. So much more common now than I remember even 10-15 years ago!!! This often becomes a financial burden, as well.

But, one topic in common that I am hearing most often is the longing for heaven and deliverance from the on-going and worsening reports of evil throughout the world. The personal spiritual battles of the mind and heart, longing to trust God and have peace, but finding that to be so difficult under the pressures and stresses of life.

But one only has to read consistently in Scripture to find a common bond with the saints of old who also were longing for His Peace, His deliverance, His joy, His comfort in the midst of trials and tribulations!! Of course, it would be that way. Human nature has not changed since the Garden of Eden became off-limits because of sin.

David set a great example for us in Psalm 12:1 when he prayed, "Help, LORD!". When the creature failed, he flew to the Creator. He evidently felt his own weakness, or he would not have cried for help. But at the same time, he intended honestly to exert himself for the cause of truth, for the word "help" is inapplicable where we ourselves do nothing. The psalmist runs straight to his God with a well-considered prayer.

LORD, teach me.....teach us ....to pray in the same blessed manner. Am I not saying..."LORD, I trust you! Lord, I need You! LORD, You are the Sovereign One!"? In fact, in all cases, times and places, "Help, LORD!" will suit us....... living and dying, suffering or laboring, rejoicing or sorrowing. In Him, our help is found.

The answer to the prayer is certain, if it is sincerely offered through Jesus. The LORD's character assures us that He will not leave His people. His gift of Jesus is a pledge of every good thing...........so Paul tells us in Ro 8:32 "He, who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him freely give us all things?"

I look up unto the hills.............my HELP comes from the LORD!!

Address

2010-06-05T13:05:00.006-07:00

Location!!! Location!! Location!!

Being the daughter of a realtor since I was about 11 and then the wife of one since I was.........oh, considerably older than 11..........it has been drilled into my head this little saying!! Well, it applies not only to the purchasing of a home for our families, wanting to makes sure they are in a safe place, with the "right" school, stores, neighbors, etc..

We want it to be a good investment for the future, should we need to relocate for various reasons! But, it also applies to our ultimate location.........for eternity!!

Now, that is of far greater consequence if the decision is not carefully made. Do you remember the time you first were asked if you wanted to go to heaven?? I remember it so well? I was FIVE!!!!

It wasn't like my parents asking me if I wanted to go to the park...........or if I wanted to go and get some ice cream........or even if I wanted to go swimming at the neighborhood park!!??? That was a really big question!! It was a question about LOCATION! Location!! LOCATION!! And at the age of five, it seemed to me that it was my decision to make!!

Now, without wanting to get into a deep theological discussion about Who was really asking me that question and Who was really going to determine my destination, as a five year old child, the answer was a no-brainer. I wanted to go to heaven. And I even thought it was okay if I went there right then.

Well, here I am, not quite six decades later, and my answer is still the same that it was that day!! I want to go to heaven and today would be fine!! Didn't Jesus say that unless we have the faith of a little child, we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven??

How I praise Him for giving to me by His grace that kind of faith! How thankful I am that for all of these years, He.....the One Who is able to keep me and present me faultless before Him........has been faithful to me.

Oh, the joy of KNOWING that if I died today, I know for certain that because of Jesus Christ and His death in my place, I am going to relocate in heaven!!

Location!! Location!! Location!! DO you know where your final move will be??

Thankfulness

2010-04-28T07:19:00.003-07:00

I haven't posted much in such a long time, and now it seems like the urge to write is constant in me. As I have written about tribulations, I see the deep need to connect the concept of thankfulness. I am coming to the place where I see more clearly that if we are not able to express thankfulness to God then that is a sign of not trusting Him fully.
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thess 5:18
Therefore since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe. Heb 12:28

If we say that we are Christians, then we are saying that we honor, revere, worship, adore, exalt, esteem, hold high the reputation of Jesus Christ. But if we grumble and complain about every trial and tribulation of life, we contradict our proclamation of esteeming Him as LORD. Every time we thank Him, we acknowledge that He is our LORD and Provider, which is the proper stance for a child of God............receiving with thanksgiving.

It is, in fact, the mundane, chronic, persistent trials of day to day living that war against our souls that often find us murmuring and complaining rather than giving thanks. It reminds me of the passage in James 3 about the tongue that I find in vs 10 in the Phillip's translation: "Blessings and curses come out of the same mouth--surely, my brothers, this is the sort of thing that NEVER ought to happen!" It goes on to say "Have you ever known a spring to give sweet and bitter water from the same source?"

It makes me want to say. "Have I ever grumbled...... murmured and trusted God at the same time?" Can't happen!!! Thanksgiving and trusting God go hand in hand!!

Through Many Tribulations!

2010-04-27T10:57:00.000-07:00

"We must through many tribulations enter the kingdom of God."
Acts 14:22b

Spiritual Growth ....."Hand-crafted"

2010-02-18T13:14:00.000-08:00

"Growth is hand-crafted, not mass-produced!" by John Ortberg

Rachel, our youngest daughter, recently shared this statement with us from one of her podcasts she hears when she runs her training for the upcoming marathon.

You know how it is when you get the right words at the right moment............you just want to savor it for awhile and let it soak in. We are in a perfect visual aid of such a statement once again. And it revolves around the Heart Hospital and all that entails for the whole family. If you have read my blog at all for the past couple of years, you are well aware that God hand-crafted some growth in all of us through Monty's 7 heart events in 7 days almost 2 years ago.....February 24, 2008.

Let me bring you up to speed, if you haven't known what has been going on recently. In December, Monty went in for his 6-month check-up, which included the ejection fraction test of the output of his heart..........the efficiency of the beat. Since he had been working out 3-4 times a week and working fulltime and feeling really good, he was so excited to hear a good report that his % had improved from the last one. But, in fact, the very opposite happened............it was worse. Not only that, but they were concerned and were recommending he get a defibrillator and pacemaker with the goal of it saving his life if he began having signs of another heart attack. But, against the advice of all three doctors, that didn't stop Monty from going skiing as planned when we all went to CO for Christmas!! I did mention that he was not feeling badly at all, didn't I?

Talk about "hand-crafted growth"!! God was getting ready to use all of this in each of our lives over the next several weeks. The short version of it all is that after some scheduling and medicine adjustments, the device was put in on January 19.......with an overnight stay and some various restrictions for the following four weeks. Then typical of Monty's "hand-crafted body" he didn't handle it very well and went into atrial flutters where he felt like his heart was pounding and racing all of the time, making him feel as though he had run a marathon every day!! He had no energy and was exhausted all of the time.

So once again, more meds to try to get his blood thin enough to keep him from clotting and having a stroke, which is one of the major dangers with atrial flutter. The decision was made that he needed cardio-version.........shock treatment..........to try to get him into sinus (normal) rhythm. But first they had to go through his esophagus and ultra-sound his heart, looking for any clots in the heart, making sure it was safe to shock his heart. This was done this past Monday, February 15, 2010. Within 2 1/2 hours we were back home with the report that he was in sinus rhythm, but that his heart was trying to pace itself, also, along with the pacemaker. With another medicine (that he had been on before for atrial flutter) the dr. was confident that he would settle down into sinus rhythm.

However, "his hand-crafted" uniquely-made body has not responded "normally" to anything done to him thus far. This was no different. Within a short time, Monty could feel once again the racing heartbeat and was not feeling very well. To complicate matters we had four of our grandchildren spending the night. Around 10:00, he began coughing a lot and getting very wheezy and short of breath. He came to bed and after checking his rhythm and blood pressure, debating for an hour whether we should go in or not, we decided he was getting worse quickly. By 11:30, our son Philip, had come over to stay with the children and Monty and I were in the ER. Sure enough, his lungs had filled up and he had pulmonary edema, commonly known as congestive heart failure.

So, after finally getting to a room about 1:00, the long night had begun of pulling the fluid off of him. The Father's "hand-crafted-growth" was taking place in all of us as this week has progressed and Monty's flutters have persisted, despite the variations in types and amounts of medications. The fluid is clearing up and so he is feeling much better. As of now (Thursday night), if he has not converted by the morning, the doctors are thinking of shocking him again. We each find that God is doing much in each one of us to show Himself to us and remind us that He is our peace.

Monty and I know that we are here for reasons far beyond the obvious.........his physical condition.................and that He is giving many around us the opportunity to see how we, His uniquely-hand-crafted-children, handle the hard things in life. All of us are experiencing the same trial, but from different stages of spiritual growth. So, learning afresh the truth of Ortberg's statement.....one trial, but the growth is not mass-produced......but rather hand-crafted!!

A New Year 2010

2010-01-01T13:10:00.001-08:00

It may be a New Year to us, but to God, there are no surprises!! It is not "new" to Him!! It is kind of like there is no new water............it is all just recycled!!

Sometimes I think New Year resolutions are like that!! They are the same ones just recycled!! I was thinking about a lot of things from the past years of "New" things I wanted to do or old things I wanted to improve...........recycle, if you will!! And I wondered if posting blogs are a thing of the past for me.

Halfway through the year, this past year, I stopped journaling............for the first time in probably 40+ years!!! I just stopped! Cold turkey!! And now that it is January 1st, I am wondering if I am going to recycle and start in again with a "habit" or a "discipline" I felt called to do many years ago and continued to do for decades.

Everyone is talking about decades right now.......probably because we are entering today the end of the first decade of the new millenium and people are searching for ways to define the past 9 years actually, even though many are calling it a decade!! Is it because we live such fast paced lives now with iPods, iPhones, iTouch, etc. that did not even exist 10 years ago? Possibly!! ???

Or, I am wondering if it isn't more than that............deeper than that. I just put up my new favorite calendar made by Cindy Grubb which I have bought for the past 16 years (at least that is how many I have in my cabinet). As I read through the verses for this year and wrote in the special birthdays, anniversaries of weddings, deaths, memorable events, I was struck by how fleeting life is. It is but a vapor.................a dash on a tombstone between the year of birth and the year of death. BUT the GIFT of God is ETERNAL!!!!

So, whether or not I recycle my discipline of writing my prayers in a journal every day, whether or not I keep in touch with others on Facebook, iPhones, email, snail mail............or face to face ........I need to make sure it is about something that has eternal value!! It must be something that lasts!! Only two things on this earth will last beyond this earth: The Word of God and the souls of people!! It's pretty clear to me what will be my recycled resolution: His Word and people and doing my part to see that those two things intersect whenever and wherever I can!!

Have a Blessed New Year!!

Faith-Rest

2009-12-10T09:27:00.000-08:00

Last week-end I attended a conference here in OKC called Deeper Still, featuring Kay Arthur, Beth Moore and Priscilla Shirer along with Travis Cottrell, who was the worship leader in music. My first response is that I remember that I am not "1-of-a-9,000-women-conference-person". Not that they weren't all great..........just I guess I am not that crazy about crowds and finding parking when the Thunder was playing Celtics right across the street!!! YUCK!!!

But, with that said, I have been thinking about much that was said there. And just this week, I have been able to share it or pray about it with so many in difficult situations: no job, possibility of a growth being malignant, infertility issues, tragic murder of a close friend's family members, possible divorce, elderly parents, step-parenting issues.........to name a few!!

This is such a fallen world........the whole system and all of its influences. The wonder of all of this is that God does care, does listen, is full of lovingkindnesses to us that are new every morning...... not leftovers from some other day, goes through the fires with us, never leaving nor forsaking us. I am often blown away when I reflect on how blessed we are as His beloved children to have His very life within us to grant us the power and the peace that truly does surpass comprehension ........yes, and even apprehension.

One thing Kay Arthur said at the conference that I have pondered is "Rest is the activity of faith"!! I am thinking about the many times, when in a difficult situation, the first response is to fret not rest..........to resist not rest.........to complain not rest.........to get angry not rest. It is usually everything but rest that we do.

So, in actuality, that means, according to the inspired writer to the Hebrews, we do not believe God!! So, dear ones, based upon that fresh "refresher", I want to encourage you to put your faith to action and rest!!! Believe Him and rest!! As a group of us, who have been studying Jerry Bridges' Trusting God, have said many times to each other, it is all about His glory..........not our convenience nor our comfort.

We can help those who are hurting by interceding on their behalf that he or she can rest in His peace. We can fight the battles for each other at the feet of Jesus, on our knees, praying that their hearts and minds will be flooded with His peace, which Ephesians 2:14 tells us is Him...... HE is our Peace!! I just want to keep encouraging you to look to Jesus..........gaze not glance at Jesus.........allowing Him to give you that rest.

What To Do?

2009-11-23T14:10:00.000-08:00

I have just in the last 12 hours read/heard about the Manhattan Declaration. When it comes to me so forthrightly in two separate ways, I really try to pay attention. The first time was enough, I thought, and has made me prayerful about my place in it all. But, just now, I happened to have 30 minutes free in the car and listened to Chuck Colson on Focus on the Family with James Dobson.

So, I put this on Facebook just now, but I realized some of you are not on it and might want to know. Many of us are really concerned about the direction our country is heading and yet wonder "What can I do?"....."What should I do?".....which is really "God, what do You want me to do, if anything?" For me, this new information has given me food for thought, especially after listening to Chuck clarify some things.

I invite you to read through this document and listen to the discussion. Then talk to God about what He would have you to do.

Amazing Life

2009-11-06T10:41:00.000-08:00

"Life sometimes gets so bogged down in the details, you forget you are living it."

I remember this quote from a book I read last summer. When I was preparing for teaching my Bible study this week, I realized that my living recently could be described that way. It was not an "Aha!" moment as much as an "Oh no!" moment. How could I have let myself forget what an amazing life I am privileged to live??!!

What I was studying was Eph 2:11-22. My overwhelming wonder was in the phrase Paul wanted those Ephesian Gentile believers to "know about the exceeding greatness of God's power toward them" (1:15-23) was that "HE (Jesus) IS our peace"!!

We never really truly realize the greatness of God's power until we realize the greatness of the obstacles which that power has overcome. Many people today are not amazed at the Christian salvation. They see nothing at all in it; nothing astonishing!! Why? because they have never realized the problem, because they are ignorant of sin, and know nothing about the wrath. of God. They do not realize the nature of these obstacles and problems. Not only was there the obstacle of their sin, which separated them from God, but also their "state" of being excluded and strangers from the covenant of promise and were without God in the world and without hope (Eph2). Honestly, is that not the condition of all of us?

The long and short of it: Ephesians 2:14...For He Himself is our peace.

"For" connects this statement to what has gone on before. This One by whose blood we have been made nigh IS OUR PEACE!! This is one of the most glorious things that is said about the LORD Jesus Christ anywhere. Of all the terms and titles applied to Him there is none more wonderful than this. HE is our Peace.

Hebrews 13:20-21 Now that God of peace, who brought up from the dead that great Shepherd of the sheep through the blood of the eternal covenant, even Jesus our Lord, 21 equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen

There it is!! God is the 'God of peace'. That is a very good way of thinking of salvation; we are saved, we are Christians, simply because God is a 'God of peace'. Everything is really the result of that.

I have been reading through the Gospels the past few days. Remember when one day someone came to Him and said, 'Master, which is the first, the greatest of all the commandments:' And this was His reply: 'You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind. That is the first and the greatest commandment. And the 2nd is like it; You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

The important thing to notice is the order: First, the relationship to God; second, the relationship to your fellow man. The whole tragedy of the modern world is due to the fact that the first is entirely left out and men think you can start with the second. Man is not recognizing God, not starting with God, not submitting to God and is trying to reconcile himself to his fellow man. And of course he is not succeeding; he never can succeed.

That is the background to Paul's statement here! 'He is our peace!' Christ alone is our peace. There is no peace apart from Him. we must be in Christ before we can enjoy the blessings of God as the God of peace.

And so, after pondering the wonderful message Paul wrote to those Ephesian Gentile believers who had probably gotten bogged down in the details of life and needed a lift to the "Alps of the NT", and pouring over the writings of D. Martin Lloyd Jones on this passage.........I asked myself.......... "How could I have let myself forget what an amazing life I am privileged to live??!!

Out of the Blue

2009-10-20T14:45:00.000-07:00

Do you wonder where a saying like...."out of the blue" comes from? Well, this is not that explanation, but more an example of what it might mean. It is that I received a call recently from somewhere out there from a long-ago friend who is coming "back here" and would like to see Monty and me.

I am just so excited that we were still on the radar for them to call us........"out of the blue"!! We just hung up after finally being able to talk voice to voice.......... you know what that means.......not on email, not on voicemail, not even snail mail!!! What a pleasant time of reunion. In fact, we are going to have a party when they come so others can enjoy them as much as we will.

Our connection goes back over 20 years ago when they were here raising their family and we were the children's youth leaders. And it has probably been over 10 years since we last saw each other. I am so thrilled to have the opportunity for us to share the goodness of the LORD and how He has graciously carried us through the inevitable trials of life.

So now.....back to "out of the blue"!! This is a reminder that one day we will be out in the blue and sharing all sorts of stories about the gracious, lovingkindness of the LORD, praising Him for He is worthy.

Sex....Now that I have your attention...read on!

2009-09-25T19:09:00.000-07:00

Reading the Proverbs recently in the older version of The Living Bible has been such a blessing to me. I know that it has probably been 30 years since I have read the Bible in this particular version. I have given the Student Application Living Bible to high school and college graduates for many years, but decided I probably needed to read it for myself............to see if I really like what I had been giving away.

What a blessing it has been!! The notes added alongside on almost every page have been great and are still applicable to young people today. You know, the Truth never changes.

Well, back to the Proverbs. I am sure I have a heightened awareness to the verses that warn about sexual immorality so much because of the blatant lies of the enemy to young people today. We had worked with young people in our local church for 35 years. And much to our disappointment we were finding in the most recent years of ministry the onslaught of porn, sexual promiscuity and the like had increased exponentially as compared with the previous 25 years.

So, when I have come upon verses like Pr 22:14 "A prostitute is a dangerous trap; those cursed of God are caught in it"...........I stop and ponder a little longer than I would have 10-15 years ago. I scanned over many other Proverbs with similar warnings: "For a prostitute will bring a man to poverty, and an adulteress may cost him his very life. Can a man hold fire against his chest and not be burned? Can he walk on hot coals and not blister his feet? So it is with the man who commits adultery with another's wife. He shall not go unpunished for this sin. ....But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool for he destroys his own soul. Wound and constant disgrace are his lot."

I want to put in here one of the Life Application points about all of this. "Sexual sin is a temptation we cannot escape. In movies and on television, sex outside of marriage is treated as a normal--even desirable--part of life, while marriage is often shown as confining and joyless. We can even be looked down upon by others if suspected of being pure. But God does not forbid sexual sin just to be difficult. He knows its power to destroy us physically and spiritually. No one shoud underestimate the power of sexual sin. It has devastated coutless lives and destroyed families, communities, and even nations. God wants to protect us from damaging ourselves and others, so he offers to fill us--our loneliness, our desires--with Himself."

I had lunch today with my daughter who was telling me about Nightline last night, which she happened to see for the first time ever. They are doing a special on the 10 Commandments in the OT (which everybody in this country has heard of in one way or another!!). Anyway, she was telling about the panel who were expressing their "open" marriage that allowed them to have affairs, which is okay since they are open about it. The man even has a business of setting people up for "safe" affairs and he profits from it..........earns a living doing so. However, they also had Ed Young, Jr, a pastor in Tx and his congregation to give the truth about how devestating affairs are to families. Men told how they lost their families and are continuing to pay the price............children told how horrible it was for them, etc.

So, I guess I just had to get this down in written form because I, too, have seen the destruction that comes to people when they choose to allow their sexual lust dictate "the rest of the story"......rather than using self-control and following purity for peace, joy and lasting relationships. Dear friends reading this.............please heed the warnings Scripture clearly gives. God is not kidding!!!

P.S. One final thought: I know the idea sexual immorality conveyed often is about "adultery" which technically means sex with another man's wife or another woman's husband. Just think about this, young man....if you are not married and think it is okay to have sex now and it is not adultery......well, whose wife will she someday be??? Probably not yours!! So she is another man's wife. OR, young lady, whose husband will he someday be? Probably not yours!! So he is another woman's husband. So it is adultery, even if you aren't married yet!!! And, if you are going to marry that person someday and you think it is okay............ what makes you so sure one of you won't think it's okay later to have sex with someone else "because you 'can't wait'"?

Be Happy!

2009-09-14T13:45:00.001-07:00

For the many years Monty and I spent training our four children to become respectable citizens of our home, the community, our country, the world...........I often wished that my words had more power than they actually did. Over and over I longed for the words "Be Happy!" to be magical in that they produced the product I desired...........happiness for my children.

Well, as you know so well, happiness is a choice and cannot be imposed upon another human being, but can only be brought about by the decision of each person. You probably have often heard, as have I, that happiness is happenstance, and depends upon the circumstance that is most agreeable to the individual. Unhappy circumstance, unhappy person!! Right??

Well, watch this for a little challenge to your thinking. I have seen this video several times and am always touched by his always-timely message.

God will deal with the wicked!!!

2009-08-21T07:56:00.000-07:00

Loved reading this, this morning, after all the "news" and emails I read last night....."LORD, when doubts fill my mind, when my heart is in turmoil, quiet me and give me renewed hope and cheer. Will You permit a corrupt government to rule under your protection--agovernment permitting wrong to defeat right? Do you approve of those who condemn the innocent to death? No! The LORD my God is my fortress--the mighty Rock where I can hide. God has made the sins of evil ment to boomerang upon them!! He will destroy them by their own plans. Jehovah our God will cut them off." Psa 94:19-23

Conflict

2009-08-12T19:46:00.000-07:00

Is it possible to go through a day without some sort of conflict? I have been wondering about this ever since we spent a week last month at a family camp in one 12x15' room with 2 adults and four children, with wall to wall "beds" and suitcases!!

All things considered, the week went really well...........almost!! Except for one exceptional night of conflict. One of the grandchildren was way out of sorts and just had to let it all out. It happens, you know!! And that is what precipitated my thoughts down this runway!! I call it a runway, because my tendency is to want to just "take off" and leave it all behind, hoping (I guess) it will resolve itself. But, at my "mature" age, I know better!!

So, since that time, I have just been so much more aware of the instances of conflict in day to day life. Even in my reading in the Psalms the past couple of weeks, it has just jumped off the pages. And now I am preparing lessons to teach Ephesians in a few weeks and have been struck by the reason for Paul's writing Ephesians............to give the news that the "wall of conflict" had been torn down by the blood of the cross..........the wall that separated Jew and Gentile for millenniums.

There are the personal conflicts that are from within.........everything from what to eat, where to eat, what to buy to eat and what not to buy to eat, who will eat what and who won't, .....then let's go to clothing, or housework, or homework, or yardwork, or just "work". On and on it goes. Conflict can occur in small things and in huge issues.............like Health Care!!! Or taxes!! Or religion!!

But, when I went into my sanctuary...........my quiet place ("A glorious throne on high from the beginning Is the place of our sanctuary." Jeremiah 17:12) ........meditating on some Scripture, the LORD reminded me (from Ephesians) that HE Himself is our peace. He is the end of all conflict. Eph 2:14, 17. He preached peace to those who were far off...........Gentiles.........and to those who were near............Jews. In other words, Jesus preached Peace to everyone. Peace is the absence
of conflict.

Back to that night of conflict in our tiny room, I understand why I had this overwhelming, urgent need to pray. It was the only way Peace would be brought near!! Thank You, Jesus, my Prince of Peace!!!

"Death is not dying" by Rachel Barkey

2009-07-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

I just listened to this wonderfully inspiring testimony of a relatively young mother, 37 years old, who was dying of cancer. Another friend has this post on her facebook, but I just want to make sure others hear the Truth about death and dying. So powerful. Enough said! Take the next and hour and listen for yourself!!

In my favorite 31 Days of Praise by Ruth Myers is this great quote to God "You are too wise to ever make a mistake, too loving to ever do anything unkind." Listen to Rachel Barkey make sense of that. http://deathisnotdying.com/

Rachel Barkey (nee Sawer) went home to her Lord on July 2, 2009 at 37 years of age. Rachel is survived by her husband Neil and her children Quinn and Kate, parents Ben and Cathy Sawer, brother David (Johanna) Sawer and sister Andrea Sawer.

Reformation Takes Time

2009-07-07T09:45:00.000-07:00

Last week Monty and I watched "John Adams", an HBO mini-series,htthttp://www.hbo.com/films/johnadams/p:// that Ty and Kaylyn gave to us. We highly recommend it to all, as we thoroughly enjoyed the great presentation of the formulation of the United States of America.

One of the statements that John wrote to his beloved wife Abigail was: "Not having you in my life would be the ruination of me." She was such a godly wife with great wisdom and grace, well-deserving of such recognition by John. He wisely sought her counsel and listened to her insights, benefitting from her perceptions over and over.

It was a challenge to me in my relationship with Monty..........that I would be a grace-filled woman who wisely counsels him because of having Jesus in my life. I took John's statement to Abigail and thought about my relationship with the LORD and that "Not having HIM in my life would be the ruination of me!!!!" What I have to offer my husband is only as deep as my commitment to the LORD Jesus and His Word.

One other interesting thing in watching this series was the insights into the character of Thomas Jefferson and of Benjamin Franklin. I mentioned in my post the other day about reading Rosenberg's wonderful book, Inside the Revolution. Well, the correlation between the reformers in the American Revolution and the movement of the Muslim Reformers Rosenberg explains so well in his book is thought-provoking. Reform takes time. Let me whet your appetite for an interesting read with the following quote from the book (pg 217).

"What is so fascinating and compelling to me about this movement of Reformers is that while they see the world through the lens of the Qur'an--whether for religious reasons or merely cultural ones--they simultaneously agree with Thomas Jefferson, who wrote in America's Declaration of Independence that all people have been 'endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.'"

I will stop there and just encourage you to get the book and be amazed at what God is doing!!! (This is not a paid commercial!!!!!)

BOOK REVIEW:
INSIDE THE REVOLUTION Inside the Revolution takes you inside the winner-take-all battle for the hearts, minds and souls of the people of the Middle East. It includes never-before-seen profiles of the Radicals, the Reformers, and the Revivalists. It explains the implications of each movement and the importance of each leader – not only through the lenses of politics and economics but through the third lens of Scripture as well. Today, wars and revolutions define the modern Middle East, and many believe the worst is yet to come.

Sons and Daughters of the Pioneers

2009-07-06T13:39:00.001-07:00

Living in Oklahoma brings the unique celebration of "89er's Day", which is a day commemorating the land run in 1889. It is at the end of April, and I found out a few days before that two of my grandchildren needed costumes for their school festivities. So, I whipped out a dress, bonnet and apron for the girl and some pants with fringe on the sides for the boy. Well, with 12 other grandchildren, it became "Well, I want one, too!!" So, here is the final result.....well, almost!! Now I have finished the Davy Crockett hats, but haven't had the boys here to photograph them. But this was a fun day for all 14 of them to be here together.

My prayer for each one of them is that they will be sons and daughters of King Jesus who are willing pioneers for His kingdom and territory here on earth, sharing His good news to their generation.

10/40 Window

2009-07-06T13:15:00.000-07:00

A couple of interesting things have happened to me recently that have caused me to praise the Most High that He is The Ancient of Days, who knows the beginning from the end and everything before and after. I love that phrase in Daniel that helps us to know that no matter what may seem wrong or unjust to us, God is there as the Ancient of Days and He has all of the facts and is the perfect One to judge the living and the dead. I try to keep that in perspective when I lack understanding about what I would call delays, but are really right on time in His time piece.

Today is July the 4th and we have so many reasons to be thankful for our freedoms in this amazing country. Yes there are flaws and disappointments in the decisions being made in DC these days, but the LORD has been bringing it all into perspective for me in recent months.

Now to bring this all to my two interesting things: Several years ago, probably 25 or so, at a missions conference at my church where I was challenged in my spirit to pray for the unreached people groups of the world to get the Bible translated into their own language. The name on the card given to me was the Karen-Paku of Burma. So, for over two decades, probably closer to three, I prayed for this people group as the LORD brought them to my mind, even though I knew very little about them. Neither did anyone else I asked.

When I went through the facility of Wycliffe Bible Translators in Orlando a few years ago, I learned that that region had a name change, which often happens when new regimes move in and take control. The new name of the same people who needed the Word of God in their own tongue was Myanmar. And through the catastrophic cyclone, the whole world’s eyes were suddenly on my very own “Karen-Paku”…………..with believers everywhere praying for them in their devastation…….joining me in praying that God would reveal Himself to them and meet their needs. WOW! That was huge to me.

The second realization that has come more recently has been through the reading of Joel Rosenberg’s wonderful book, Inside the Revolution.http://www.joelrosenberg.com/ Do you remember, those of you old enough to have been praying in the 80’s, the awareness of the needs for hearing the gospel in the 10/40 window? I can remember hearing that phrase for the first time and having no clue as to what it meant. (For the sake of you readers who might not have been born then or at least not old enough to understand the challenge to pray fervently for the masses of people in the 10/40 window ……………the area of the world between 10 and 40 latitudes of the world). This is predominantly Islamic countries.

I want to quote one small part of Rosenberg’s book that brought me to my knees in worship and thanks for God’s faithfulness to hear and answer prayers. “In the last 20 years, more Iranians have come to Christ [than in] the last 14 centuries,……………..At the time of the Islamic revolution in 1979, there were only about five hundred known Muslim converts to Jesus inside the country. By 2000, a survey of Christian demographic trends reported that there were 220,000 Christians inside Iran, of which between 4,000 and 20,000 were Muslim converts. And according to Iranian Christian leaders I interviewed for this book, the number of Christ-followers inside their country show dramatically higher between 2000 and 2008.” pg.384-385

Prayer is not a new thing to me, nor is the total belief that God not only hears my prayers, but delights in having me come to Him. And such answers to prayer is why I write………..to encourage you to trust Him, even when you are praying for a people group you have never heard of before to get the Bible in their own language, as strange as that may seem……………or for a section of the world that seems completely disinterested in the claims of Jesus Christ as the Way, the Truth, the Life.

Don’t underestimate the Ancient of Days with your impossible prayers!!!

Quiet Times

2009-06-16T09:35:00.000-07:00

Recently, most of my mornings have begun with small children in the early hours wanting to sit on my lap and cuddle while I am reading my Bible!! It might have been out on the patio with a cup of coffee and the crisp beauty of the early morning sun coming up high enough to warm us, or in "my prayer chair" where much of my time is spent in quietness with the LORD..........or, even more recently these past few days, on the sofa in Kaylyn's living room here in Lakewood, CO.

It has made me flash back about 30+ years to when our children were little (like our grandchildren now) and they would come downstairs in the early hours to do the same thing. I remember telling them when they asked what I was doing that I was having my "quiet time with the LORD". Then next question was: "What's that?"! And deja vu happened when one of my grandchildren asked the same thing!!! And my answer was the same as it was 3 decades ago......"It is like I am sitting in my Daddy's lap, cuddling with Him, listening to Him, talking with Him first thing in the morning, just like you are with me! It is how I like to start my day!!"

Praise the LORD..........some things never change!!!!

One Liners

2009-05-29T18:44:00.000-07:00

I recently read a book and these are one liners in there I loved..........................

"There's nothing worse than silence, strung like heavy beads on too delicate a conversation."

"When you only have a hammer, everything looks like a nail."

"There is a Murphy's Law to oncology, one which is not written anywhere but held in widespread belief: if you don't get sick, you won't get well."

"He smiles at me, and I suddenly am seventeen again---the year I realized love doesn't follow the rules, the year I understood that nothing is worth having so much as something unattainable."

"............whom I have not seen in fifteen years. Her hair is longer now, and fine lines bracket her mouth, parentheses around a lifetime of words I was not around to hear."

"I nod. But it feels like we are sitting on the tight bench of a bus with a stranger between us, one that neither of us is willing to admit to or mention, and so we find ourselves talking around him and through him and sneaking glances when the other one isn't looking."

"Life sometimes gets so bogged down in the details, you forget you are living it."

Mediation

2009-05-19T06:47:00.000-07:00

We all probably have played the role of mediator in one situation or another: breaking up a quarrel among children who are saying "she said this..........he said that...........she did this.........he did that" , among classmates in school, among our siblings, or maybe our parents!!, or even church friends arguing over various opinions on a committee. You can imagine your own scenario.

This morning I was reading in 1 Kings 17-19 about Elijah, the prophet to Israel (the Northern Kingdom), and was struck by the role he had to play as mediator between God and various people in Israel....... from a widow, to the king and queen, to the masses!!!

Recently I have become more familiar with the whole world of mediation, in a "professional sense". And there are some observations I made, that I see over and over in Scripture (not necessarily in order of importance).
1) the role of the mediator is to communicate each view to the other person or persons, impartially and accurately.
2) the necessity on the part of the mediator is to listen, being quick to listen and slow to speak
3) the goal of mediation IS NOT the happiness of the individuals who are in conflict
4) the goal of mediation IS to bring the parties involved to a decision they are willing to "live with" from then on
5) sometimes in mediation there is the need for an advocate, someone who knows my situation or position and can represent that to others for me
6) peace comes about through sacrifice
7) sometimes the mediation does not succeed because the opposing parties are not willing to see the true value of the required terms for peace

So, what has blessed me in all of this has been what I have seen in Scripture about how God is always revealing to us insights into Who He is through practical illustrations. 1 Timothy 2:5 "For there is only one God and one Mediator Who can reconcile God and people. He is the Man Christ Jesus." So Jesus has the role of communicating back and forth both positions between the opposing parties, God and all of us.

The next thing I saw was 1 John 2:1 "My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous." Now Jesus not only mediates for reconciliation, but also pleads for us before the Father.

And then this is what impressed me the most!! He not only communicates to me what the Father expects me to "live with" to be in harmony with Him and no longer at odds, and even pleads with the Father my condition.............but 2 Cor 5:21 "For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ!" That is an astounding truth. He is the mediator, the advocate, and the agent of reconciliation or the actual terms of making the peace possible!!

Back to my experience of the mediation process..........there was the mediator, and there were advocates for the various people on either side of the issue, but the peace that was made was not done by the mediator nor the advocate. They were not willing, in and of themselves, to fulfill the terms necessary for peace. It would have been too costly for them. Peace is always achieved by the sacrifice of someone.

If the terms of peace are rejected, the cost for one or both parties could be a devastating decision.

Ephesians tells us that He Himself is our Peace!!! Now that is GRACE!! Hallelujah!! What a Savior!!

Passageways

2009-05-06T09:50:00.000-07:00

Isn't it strange to think about passageways? I really have not spent much time there........until today!! And for some reason, I looked at the doorways in my house as I was going from room to room to do various tasks in the different rooms. Some tasks were connected from room to room, but mostly, each room had its own task to be done.

For instance, going from the hall into one of the bedrooms..........which usually has the purpose of people sleeping in there, lately mostly grandchildren!! Once in awhile, some extra guests come along and so it sort of serves as a Bed 'n Breakfast sort of deal. But most recently, it has been my "Norma Rae's Sweat Shop"...........a named coined by Monty when I am doing hours(days) of sewing. {If you haven't seen Sally Field's Oscar performance as Norma Rae, check it out!}

But, back to my topic at hand.......passageways!!

I think my thoughts have been something like this. We don't stay in passageways!! They lead us to something else where more time will be spent than in the passageway! I sort of feel like our family has been in a passageway with Gwyneth for the past 9 months and now we are in the "room" called "Divorced"!

This is an unfamiliar place for all of us, but most obviously for Gwyneth and her children. For these past months, it felt like we were stuck in a passageway that was taking us from the known to the unknown..............on many levels. So many thoughts, musings, questions, tears, prayers, actions/reactions, waiting, seeking wisdom ~ all took place in that passageway!! And now she, they .......we, her family and friends, are doing life together in a new room.

The phrase that keeps coming to my mind about the many extremely hard times in that passageway is "This too shall pass!" When you are stuck in a passageway, it seems as though it is going to be like this forever!

I admire Gwyneth for her steadfast trust in the LORD to complete what He had begun in her last August 9th, when she first entered that passageway that would take her from married to divorced. She knew what God was saying to her and she never doubted His voice. And two days ago, He so emphatically confirmed His Word to her when she moved out of the passageway and into the new room where He is going to make Himself known to her in new ways. In time, He may reveal some of the ways that has been for her good and for His glory. Already she has seen the goodness of His timing and is thankful for that.

We have all experienced the blessing of the Body of Christ coming together in prayer, in ministering, in sharing, in giving, in counseling, in bearing one another's burdens on so many levels. And for that we are so grateful. Divorce does not happen just to the two people, it happens to families...............and the family of Christ Jesus.

And until He takes us home to be with Him we live in a passageway!

Abiding in Grace

2009-04-17T17:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, the opening and closing of the back door with the grandchildren going in and out, in and out, in and out, can make me get TJs (as my children would know......tight jaws). I don't get TJs like I used to when there were four children of my own, plus all their friends, making incessant demands on my time. So, it is kind of surprising to me that in the past three minutes of sitting here at my desk, the patio door opening and closing at least 10 times, has me wanting to write about this. To make matters worse, the door sticks and so it is an exaggerated opening and "slamming" that is creating the TJs.

I always thought that by the time I would be in my 6th decade of life things like that wouldn't bug me!! But it goes to show me that the old sin nature..........of wanting things done my way.........never dies and never improves with time. I still need the grace of the Holy Spirit to empower me to let things slide that don't really matter. The four girls playing in the back yard are way more important than not being bothered by slamming doors!!

So......while thinking about all of this, I find myself searching my heart...........or rather the LORD shining His light into my heart to show me what other"issues" are in my life that show me I need His grace to make it. It is all of life!!.

Yesterday we finished our Bible study on grace. And when I was asked last night if I could define what grace is, I heard a voice that sounded just like mine uttering something I could grasp and not forget. Grace is the power of God by His Spirit that saved me, that will one day take me to glory to be with Him and that now sanctifies me, empowering me to do things He has prepared beforehand for me to do. That is the one major thing I saw in Scripture........ that those three words can be used interchangeably for grace.

And then this morning I was reading in I Sam 16 when Samuel anointed David to be king in front of his brothers and father, long before he was ever crowned as the king of Israel. And there were those three words...........well two of the them were written and one was obviously there in between the lines. 16:13 "So David stood there among his brothers. Samuel took the olive oil he had brought and poured it upon David's head; and the Spirit of Jehovah came upon him and gave him great power from that day onward." And clearly, it was by grace that he was chosen by God.

So, back to the TJs. Just as David failed, even with the power of Jehovah' s Spirit upon him, so do I sometimes, even with His grace, his power, His Spirit at work in me both to will and to do His good pleasure. And much like David, who did not repeat his sin but forsook it, I desire to live with a clean heart that will choose to walk uprightly and have right reponses to children who are slamming doors. "By the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me."

He Is Risen Indeed!!

2009-04-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

Well, I am back home after our wonderful 10 day trip to Rota, Spain and surrounding areas, only to find myself going through my 68 emails, some of which I read while there, but others had to wait until now.

On Thursday night in Rota, (the night before Good Friday) we tried to get some sleep before our 5:00 a.m. wake-up-time to begin what turned out to be a 24-hour awake time before getting in our own bed at home. It was sometime during one of the three plane rides that I thought about the Thursday night before Good Friday over 2,000 years ago that Jesus had to endure..........sleepless, beatings, scourging, mockery, being "on trial" illegally ..........before being nailed to the cross!!! And then during that 6 hours on the cross, He took the punishment of my sin and became sin for me that He would bear the separation from the Father so that I would not have to be eternally separated from Him. Praise be to Him for His indescribable gift of grace that was secured when He arose from the grave!! Hallelujah! What a Savior!! And it is in Him I believe and move and have my being!!

And if you want to read, see, hear what is going on around the world this Easter that is so exciting, this is a site you will want to visit, with a very interesting video. And here is an article about how more ex-Muslims will be celebrating Easter this year.

We are living in exciting days. And my prayer is that you aren't missing any of it by being ignorant of what God is doing!!

One Final Day in Espana

2009-04-09T09:11:00.000-07:00

April 9

This is how the beautiful day began.........sitting on our balcony....watching Monty gaze into "his" ocean one last morning.

After that he rode the bike and I walked the four miles along the beach and then back through the town of Rota, stopping to peak into the local cathedral as they were making final preparations for the Holy Day tomorrow. One interesting observation I have noted, while being here, is that everywhere we have gone this week you see only images of Jesus as a baby, on the cross, or as a dead body in the arms of Mary and the other women. There is not much about His life, or His resurrection!!

I am so thankful I worship the risen LORD Who is Victor over death and lives victoriously in me!!!

Then for the afternoon, Monty, Stacey and I left Lanny and the children here at the Villa, picked up their friend Elena Parker and headed for Jerez for a wonderful tour of the Gonzales Bodega Tio Pepe, which is where Sherry and Brandy and other wines are made. We learned more than I will ever remember, but one main thing is that authentic Sherry, to be called "Sherry", must come from one of the three-cities-triangle here in Espana. These barrels are stacked four high and go for rows and rows and rows, in bodgea (cellar) after bodega. And the fragrance was wonderful!!

As a part of the tour, we chose to enjoy an equestrian luncheon which entertained us with a Flamenco dancer whose "partner" was a horse, a very impressive horse and his caballero. It was quite a show! They served us a light Spanish traditional tapas of cheese, jamon (cured ham) little breads and, of course, samples of two different types of Tio Pepe Sherry. You can also see behind us barrels with flags representing all of the 115 countries who receive their exported Sherry, one of which is the USA!!

One of the bodegas had barrels signed by famous people who had visited there throughout the decades. I put a photo here of one signed by Picasso (who was Italian by birth, but a Spaniard in life). Others were signed by Winston Churchill, Prince Philip and Lana Turner....to name a few.

This was a perfect ending to a perfectly wonderful vacation to Rota, Spain, thanks to Lanny, Stacey, Caleb, Katie Jo, Seth, Bethany, and Joshie Groves!!! Hasta luego!!!

More of Espana!!

2009-04-09T08:38:00.001-07:00

April 8

This was a day for local sights and experiences. First it was a trip to the gypsy market here in Rota that happens every Wednesday morning. The 9 of us walked down to the market, where Lanny and Stacey were surprised by the crowds. Since it is Spring Break here, there were way more people than usual (so they said). SO it was a little tricky keeping track of the 5 kiddos....and your purse!!! Bethie was typically enthralled with the snails!!!

Later we went to a local restaurant which is a favorite of the American military. We loved it!! The atmoshpere and food were the best so far!! It is called Las Tinajas (pronounced 'ten-a-haus"). The skewers were fantastic chicken and pork tenderloin ka-bobs!! Such great presentation!!! So much yummy food!! It required an afternoon siesta for Monty and Lanny and a bike ride down to the beach along the pasaeo for me. (No photos of that....I was too busy pedaling the four miles or so!!)

One more for the day

2009-04-07T10:38:00.001-07:00

I just had to add these photos. This is how I start my day, sitting on our balcony, reading my Bible while taking in this beautiful view. This is a little natural harbor here in Rota, Spain.

Cadiz, where we visited today, is out there in the distance off to the left. (top right)

Cadiz

2009-04-07T08:47:00.000-07:00

April 7

Well, today was another venture out for the four of us, trying not to act like the American tourist that we are!! But after dropping off the 5 kiddos with another friend, it didn't take long for us to show our true colors. We sat at the place to catch the ferry to ride over to the peninsula of Cadiz (pronounced Ca dith) for a bit too long before we found out it was not going.............it was broken!! No wonder there was no ferry there, and it was supposed to leave in five minutes!! Only American toursits would sit there that long before finding out .......No Ferry Today!! So, we drove the 45-60 minutes.......well by "we" I mean Lanny!! Of course, parking was the concern, but my favorite verse proved true once again..."The LORD preserveth the simple."

Our first stop was one of the plazas, but this one was at the Cathedral de Cadiz, which was being set up for something big for Passion week. Here are a couple of the photos there with Monty and Stacey and Lanny. It was a bit chillier than what we had been experiencing and so we worked really hard to stay in the sun and out of the wind.

Cadiz, Spain is fascinating; it´s the oldest city in Europe. Almost entirely surrounded by water, the city appears isolated. It stands on a peninsula jutting out into the bay, dramatically defining the surrounding landscape. It is approximately 3,000 years old, settled initially by the Phoenicians in 1100 BC. The Phoenicians, Carthaginians, and Romans have all settlled here at one point over the years. One of the places we visited today was the Museo de Cadiz which displayed the oldest sacarphogi from the Phonecians, many Roman statues, and other ancient finds.

The old central quarter is probably the most beautiful part of the city. It´s famous for its picturesque charm. Here you´ll find some spectacular buildings, and all just a few meters from the coast. The narrow and cobbled streets open out onto pretty little squares. People sit outside in cafes all day long enjoying the heat, and gazing up at the Moorish architechture.

Without a doubt one of the unique experiences was in the market place in the older part of the city. It is exactly like you would imagine the outdoor market to be.............open tables of fresh fruit, produce, and lots of fresh fish............all kinds, eyeballs and all!! Too bad there is no smell on here. But just a few photos to give you an idea. That is an eel, skinned!!

However, don't feel sorry for us!! We found the perfect way to end a perfect day!!!

Seville

2009-04-04T09:17:00.001-07:00

April 4
Today Lanny, Stacey, Monty and I drove an hour and a half to Seville while a friend of theirs from the Bible study came with her two children and stayed with the 5 Groves kiddos. It was such a sweet sacrifice for Krista to do that. (If you ever read my blog....Thanks so much!!!)

Seville is the fourth largest city in Spain. The population is around 710,000. The good thing about going there on a Saturday is that they all leave for the week-end to go to place like Rota, where we left. So, it actually turned out to be an easy day for getting around the city. We had an easy time parking, even....which made Lanny very happy indeed!! He was pleased with the stress-free drive in the city!!

We first visited the beautiful Plaza de Espana that was built only in 1927 for the Expo '29. The tile work was beautiful. Stacey and I bought some black and white etchings from the artist himself there in the Plaza. We also bought some scarves from the vendors there for the bargain price of 5 Euros (anyway, she told me it was a bargain!!!).

From there we walked to the Cathedral of Seville, where the remains of Christopher Colombus are in a fancy sarcophagus held by four statues. It was pretty impressive!! Of course, it dates back to the early 16th century. I laugh when I visit "historical" places in the USA on the East Coast where things are 200 years old!! Big deal!! We saw things that dated back to the 1100's!! In fact, they have trees in the parks that are older than America!!

The Cathedral is now reckoned to be the world's largest church. There are steps from inside the Cathedral to the top of the 90m high Giralda which is the minaret of the former Mosque. The climb to the top provides some great views but they warn some to stay at the bottom and buy the postcard if you've got a weak heart! But we climbed it........and Monty made it all the way up and down!! Praise the LORD! It was quite a climb.....for all of us!! But what a great view of the city. (You might remember that his cardiologist told us that he could make this trip at his own risk!! He wasn't telling us not to come, but couldn't give him a clean bill of health either!!) So, for those of you praying for him.........THANKS!!

There is nowhere else in Spain that complies so closely with the foreigner's perception of stereotypical Spain as Seville. For it is here that flamenco, bullfighting and fiesta are a way of life, none of which we personally experienced. Much of it begins the two weeks after Easter. We saw them setting up chairs all around the cathedral for upcoming parade for Holy Week. So, we are thinking we came at the perfect time..........before all the masses arrived!!

view of the largest bullring in Spain from the Tower of Giralda

Our Trip to Rota, Spain

2009-04-03T05:06:00.000-07:00

April 1, 2009
As I sit here in O’Hare airport in Chicago waiting for our departure flight to Madrid, Spain, I cannot help but think about how small our world really is. Flying here just a short while ago from OKC and looking down over the city of Chicago, I was just thinking about all of the people in all of those houses, in all of those skyscraper offices and hotels along Lake Michigan, all of the cars, trucks, vans, buses going to and fro across the city………….and how HUGE God is!! I began to multiply the facts of the lives of the people in this one city by the six billion people around the world. And He knows the number of hairs on every head!!! For God SO loved the world that He gave…………….!!

Monty and I watched a fantastic video recently called The Privileged Planet that was done by scientists who had discovered, through a solar eclipse in India, that we are the only planet that could possibly have life. I am not a scientist (not by any stretch of the imagination) but I was able to track with them how this is so. And it was fascinating. Check it out. But, that piece of information, along with another movie clip I mentioned several posts back, that was referenced in Francis Chan's book Crazy Love on how small we are compared to the other galaxies of the heavens, have all been stirring in my mind about how significant the resurrection really is.

Paul stated it well in I Cor 15 when he said that if there were no resurrection of Jesus, then we are, or all people, most miserable (my loose paraphrase)and to be most pitied. But, instead, because I believe completely in the reality of the resurrection, I am to be envied, not pitied, because I have the amazing assurance of what will happen to me when I die. Such great peace floods my heart because it is all by His grace that I am His and He is mine. It puts all of this smallness of the world into perspective. I am significant to God because His Son died for me and His Spirit dwells within this temporary body that will one day be resurrected because 2,000 years ago the stone was rolled away and the tomb was found by many witnesses to be empty. He is risen!! The LORD is risen indeed!

11 hours later…2:00.a.m. Oklahoma time and 9:00 a.m. here, in the Madrid Airport waiting for our next flight to Jerez, which I have learned to pronounce correctly after several corrections when I asked about check-in and gate information. I will try to spell the pronunciation phonetically…………gggghhhhareth……that is a guttural gggghhhh, by the way!

Anyway, what a beautiful airport ~state of the art!!! Very classy looking people, shops, and clothing!! Not exactly like Will Rogers WORLD Airport in OKC!! We have about three hours to kill, so wwe can do a lot of people watching!!

On our flight from O’Hare to here we were accompanied by six blind people with their seeing eye dogs, which were the most amazing animals!! Very impressive.....I am thinking that is the best kind of dog to have!!! It was a Spaniard airline, Iberia, and the majority of announcements, given in both Spanish and English, were not understandable to either of us. It made me think of how God forced the people to populate the earth as He had said for them to do after the flood. Remember how they disobeyed that command and huddled together to build their own tower to heaven (Gen 10&11)!! So God confounded their languages. And now the world is populated, with lots of different languages. And the interesting thing about that is that we (believers) are now trying to conquer those languages in order to get the gospel to the uttermost parts of the world .... to every tongue, tribe and nation!!!

April 3
Rota, Spain at Victory Villa
We finally arrived here yesterday afternoon at 2:15, which would have been 7:15 A.M. in OKC.........about 21 hours after getting to Will Rogers World Airport!! It was a sleepless night of travel, but well worth it to be here with Lanny and Stacey Groves, and their five children: Caleb, Katie Jo, Seth, Bethany, and Joshua, ages 8,7,5,4,15 months at their beautiful beach front home that overlooks the natural harbor, just around a small peninsula in the Atlantic Ocean. I have mentioned Stacey before and her blog. You can read more about their ministry here (http://www.victoryvilla-spain.blogspot.com/) with Cadence Int, which offers this Hospitality House to US military overseas, which happens to be to those stationed at Rota Naval Station, right next door. We are looking foreard to meeting some of them when they come tonight for dinner and Bible study time when Monty will get to share with them how helpful the Hospitality House was to him when he was flying rescue helicopters in Thailand during the Viet Nam War in 1968-69!

This is so beautiful we may never go home!!

Banking on the Basics

2009-03-19T13:13:00.000-07:00

Finding a title for this post was hard to do.........mainly because I am not sure which direction I am going. There are some things the LORD has been teaching me recently in some of my reading. I do see a common thread, but whether or not I join the pieces together at this juncture is still unknown to me. I think what is most on my heart is something that often comes up in my writing.........in my living, actually. That is God's sovereignty.

Three "studies", if you will, I am doing right now are: 1) Trusting God by Jerry Bridges (which I mentioned a long time ago.........and the group is still plodding along to get all the gems out of it, not hurriedly obviously), 2) LORD, I Need Grace To Make It Today by Kay Arthur and thirdly is a book I am slowly digesting by John Piper. 3) Spectacular Sins..and their global purpose in the glory of Jesus Christ. I mention these because one of the common threads is the amazing sovereignty of God.

For me, there is no greater foundation for my faith-walk than understanding, well maybe it is not so much understanding as much as believing confidently in His sovereignty. I cannot kid you nor myself into thinking that I understand it..........certainly not well enough to answer all the questions such a doctrine raises. But, with assurance, I can say that Scripture clearly teaches it and makes not apologies for it.

I think the most recent security check in my belief system came a couple of days ago when Monty and I were at the cardiologist's office for a follow-up from Monty's recent hospital stay. We reminded Dr. Kerns that we have a trip scheduled to Rota, Spain to see Lanny and Stacey Groves and their five children (who are our "family" without genetics), which is where they are ministering with Cadence Int. You can read more about them on Stacey's blog

Anyway, my point on sovereignty is that Dr. Kerns said we could go "at our own risk". My mind immediately jumped to God's sovereignty. We could stay here and wait for nothing/something to happen to him (he is still in atrial-flutter, which is not desirable)or go there and wait for something/nothing to happen!! It really is all in God's control. Both Monty and I are about living and not waiting to die. SO, we are excitedly awaiting the date for our departure to beautiful Rota, Spain, and I might add.....with great peace because of His sovereignty. What an amazing God we serve.

Psa 112:7 "He(she) does not fear bad news nor live in dread of what may happen for he(she) is settled in his(her) mind that Jehovah will take care of him(her)."

Hearing God

2009-03-08T11:13:00.000-07:00

This morning, in early church.......really early since we had to set our clocks forward...I gave this brief testimony on hearing God. It was requested in my SS class that I post it on my blog. So.....by popular (or not so popular) demand......

“ Hearing God? A daring idea, some would say—--presumptuous and even dangerous. But what if we are made for it? What if the human system will not function properly without it? There are good reasons to think it will not. The fine texture as well as the grand movements of life show the need. Is it not, in fact, more presumptuous and dangerous to undertake human existence without hearing God?

Among our loneliest moments, no doubt, is the time of decision……..”

That is a quote in the preface from a great book Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God written by Dallas Willard.

When asked if I would give a brief testimony about how I hear and follow God’s guidance in my life, it led me on a journey down memory lane. I want to take you there this morning, praying that it will be helpful and give God the glory due Him.

When I was 17 years old, God brought a godly young man into my life because He wanted me to learn how to hear His voice and follow Him, which I thought I already knew all of that. After all, I had already been a Christian for 12 years!!

After a few months of dating and writing letters back and forth,(he was a senior in college and I a senior in high school….no cell phones or texting or email) he suddenly wrote me a “Dear John” letter (didn’t even know my name after all that time). I remember it went something like this.

“Dear Carolyn, After spending some time in prayer and in the Word this past week-end at a conference, God has made it clear to me that I need not to see you any more…………..”

I wondered why God hadn’t told me that…………..if we were both praying to the same God, which I knew we were. How come this came as such a shock to me?? Maybe some of you have asked that question….”Why did she/he hear from God and I didn’t?.....”

And that began my spiritual journey of seeking to hear and know His voice. The first thing that occurred to me was that I was the one doing all of the talking to God and I was not a very good listener, because I didn’t think He was talking to me. I didn’t know how to listen.

Then it became so important to me to take in God’s Word more consistently, more intentionally.

First I began with hearing it, with a pen and paper in hand, loving exegetical, expository teaching of the Word.

That whet my appetite for more, so I started reading the Bible through each year with The Daily Walk.

After many years, I was finding that reading it and hearing it taught to me were not enough, so I began studying Scripture inductively, asking the 5 "w's and H": who, what, when, where, why and how…….PLUS writing in my prayer journals what He was teaching me about Himself.

Since I was trying to get the Word into my heart, memorizing was always a part of my interaction with the LORD, praying many verses I was learning back to Him as requests as well as praise.

And before I really knew it, I found myself meditating on the Word most of my days, working around the house, driving children all over the city, just talking with Him about His Word and what He was showing me, day in and day out.

As the years went by, knowing that He IS with me……….Emmanuel……. I noticed that I was very comfortable with decisions, large and small, because I understood His sovereignty and had confidently gotten to know His character in an intimate way……..as with a trusted friend.

So, you see, I really don’t have anything knew………..it is spiritual breathing ……inhaling His Word………exhaling praise back to Him as He lives His life through me.

With many years in His Word, it was clear to me that He was leading me, guiding me…..through Scripture, prayer, His Spirit and trusted friends who also were in the Word, praying and being led by His Spirit.

Yesterday, in my reading I was in Deut 5 and thought this verse, with the Life Application note, was my conclusion.
“Moses continued speaking to the people of Israel and said, ‘Listen carefully now to all these laws God has given you; learn them and be sure to obey them!’”

“Listening is absorbing and accepting information about God. Learning is understanding its meaning and implications. Obeying is putting into action all we have learned and understood. All three parts are essential to a growing relationship with God.”

And we have been graced with the Holy Spirit Who enables us to do just that!!

Home

2009-03-04T14:32:00.000-08:00

You know.........there is something special about my home. Even though we were only at the Heart Hospital 2 1/2 days, it felt good to come to our home today. I guess it is that way for a lot reasons, but for us......Monty and me........it is where we do most of life together. So being in a hospital room and being together is just not quite the same. I am thankful that our home is a haven for both of us. We enjoy being here together. We enjoy having people here. And we enjoy being home alone some of the time.

As I think about this brief visit to the hospital, I am reminded once again, that all of life is brief. We are just in different locations briefly here on earth, but always wanting to get HOME. And as comfortable as this Home is, there is still a longing to really go HOME.

We didn't really find out much at the hospital, as far as what caused this last episode for Monty. They did change up his meds quite a bit, and are wanting him to go back in two days for more blood work to stay on top of the changes. But, it is kind of like life............there just aren't always answers to "Why?" questions. Often the answer is "wait and see". Isa 40:31 tells us that those who wait on the LORD will renew their strength. We usually think of waiting as a draining of strength. But the word "wait" carries the idea of: "look, long, love, live for".

So we are being strengthened as we WAIT upon the LORD and His timing and His ways to bring us HOME.

The Power of Grace

2009-03-03T20:24:00.000-08:00

Well, here I am in the Oklahoma Heart Hospital once again........a year later..... with Monty asleep in the bed and I am up writing in my journal all that has been happening the past 48 hours. In one of my recent posts, I mentioned "remembering" and the importance God gives to that in Scripture. It is the re-membering, re-attaching a member of your past to the present.

I am remembering His faithfulness and lovingkindnesses to us a year ago when we were here for 16 days. I am remembering the sudden crash course I was getting in medical terms describing the heart and conditions and diseases of the heart and its importance to the body. I am remembering all of the love and prayers and notes and calls of many friends for weeks and weeks. I remember how uplifted and encouraged I felt in those days of his health crisis, when we did not know if he would make it through yet another heart event.

And now, after a wonderful year of his renewed strength and back-to-normal life, so to speak, we find that his heart is still quite vulnerable. The short version is that for the past few weeks he had been experiencing some shortness of breath, for which we had "natural" explanations: high altitude of Denver, severe allergy attack, etc!!! Then late Sunday night, exactly one year after his 2nd heart attack, we were in bed and he said he felt like his heart was beating really fast. I took his blood pressure and heart rate three times and we headed out for the Heart Hospital. They finally decided to admit him and we were in a room by 3:00 A.M.

He is in A-fibrillation and has high blood pressure again. They have run some tests and have been trying new meds and tweaking the ones he was on to see if they can get his rhythm back to normal and get the blood pressure under control. As of right now, 11:00 P.M. on Mar 3, 2009, we are expecting that after they run some kidney tests in the morning, they might let us go home...........at least that was what the doctor told us this morning. However, he is now running a fever and his pulse and blood pressure have gone up a bit tonight.

So, my point is this, I was sitting here working on my Bible study and the verses I had to observe were these: "But this precious treasure--this light and power that now shine within us--is held in a perishable container, that is, in our weak bodies. Everyone can see that the glorious power within must be from God and is not our own. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken. We are perplexed because we don't know why things happen as they do, but we don't give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going. THese bodies of ours are constantly facing death just as Jesus did; so it is clear to all that it is only the living Christ within [who keeps us safe].......this gives us constant opportunity to show forth the power of Jesus Christ within our dying bodies." 2 Cor 4:7-11

Our troubles are a platform for God to display the power of His grace in humanity, in the Body of Christ.

Something to think about

2009-02-28T08:08:00.000-08:00

I just read this quote and wanted to encourage others to think about it, too.

This is a quote worth reading and holding onto...let it sink in!

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by
legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person
receives without working for, another person must work for
without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody
anything that the government does not first take from
somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that
they do not have to work because the other half is going to
take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea
that it does no good to work because somebody else is going
to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the
end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing
it."
~~~ The late Dr. Adrian Rogers , 1931 to 2005, Former
Pastor of Bellevue Baptist Church in Memphis , TN ~~~

Remember

2009-02-24T10:53:00.001-08:00

I just counted in my Strong's Concordance 266 references to some form of the word remember...remembered....remembering....rememberest....remembereth...remembering...
remembrance.
Many of those were used as petitions from people to God asking Him NOT to remember certain things about them.......failures, sins, former things, etc. But, by far, the majority of verses are on the positive side of recalling to one's mind things that God has done. And it was often to be done with some sort of ceremony, marker, reminder, habit, celebration..........so that the person would not forget and have to learn things all over once again.

Such has been the case for me today as I have been remembering what happened one year ago tonight. I can go back and reread what I wrote down so that I would not forget the faithfulness of the LORD through all of the heart events that Monty had, beginning Feb 24th, 2008. I have not had to go and read it all, even though I am sure there are many details I have forgotten, because I have often called upon the LORD to bring to my mind the things He taught me over and over during those dark days. They were days blessed by the LORD, showing us His Presence with us in those hospital rooms, waiting rooms, emergency rooms.......going through the trials with us.

So tonight we are going to have a "surprise" praise party for Monty here at the house as we praise the LORD for His sovereign grace that brought us through the dark times and has sharpened our focus on Him and eternal things.........that really matter.

Many times last year, as I have posted before, we asked the LORD why He spared Monty's life, only to have been assured over and over that it was for Gwyneth and her children........ for continuing to spread His Word....... and to be better prepared for our final resting place with Him in heaven, being more and more conformed to the image of His Son, all for His glory.

Celebrate with us to the glory of the LORD Jesus Christ that our times are in His hands and it was through Him that everything was made, whether heavenly or earthly, seen or unseen. Through Him, and for Him, also, were created power and dominion, ownership and authority. In fact, all things were created through, and for Him. He is both the first principle and the upholding principle of the whole scheme of creation.

So, as the Scriptures says.......REMEMBER your Creator!!

Kingdom Living

2009-02-16T13:20:00.000-08:00

Recently I have been thinking a lot about kingdom living. It could be the fact that everywhere I turn, people are talking about something that has to do with it. My pastor has been teaching a series on the parables in Matthew 13, which talks about kingdom living in various ways...........a wonderful series.

Then I happened to hear Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah about a week ago on the end of the world and the coming kingdom of Christ Jesus, which was on Feb 9&10. It seems like every time I open my email someone is sending me some link to something about the many crises going on around the world today that illustrate the facts that Scripture reveals will take place before He comes to set up His earthly kingdom.

I do wonder how so many Bible teachers say that God is through with Israel and that the Church has replaced Israel................when the whole world is focused on that tiny piece of real estate, about the size of New Jersey!!!! And why is it that Jewish people from all over the world are eager to go back to the land that was given to Abraham as an eternal covenant??? How come other nations (i.e. Iran) want to "push Israel into the Sea"? Is it not obvious that God is still about the business of keeping His promise and setting up the Kingdom He promised in Ezekiel, Isaiah, and many other Scriptures..........OT and NT.

So, believing ALL scripture to be profitable, I want to concern myself in "these last days" about Kingdom living.............making all things about His glory.
1 Cor 10:31 "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God." As I think about this verse, I come to one conclusion.......the point of life is to point to Him.

Lying

2009-02-07T10:20:00.001-08:00

You know those thoughts that swirl around in your mind while taking a shower, or some other "mindless" activity??? Well, I have had a post swimming in my brain for the past week that is about lying. It started like this:
"Monty, why would you put the bedroom phone in your sock drawer?"

Let me back up as to why that was my opening post statement that day in the shower. We had some of our grandchildren spending the night with us. They had been playing in our closet (I know because I heard drawers opening and closing)!! A couple of hours later when getting ready for bed, I looked for the phone that sits on the night stand. I never could find it!! The next morning I asked the children about it...... no one knew where it was. When Monty was getting dressed, he found it in his sock drawer!! Thus, "Monty, why would you put the bedroom phone in your sock drawer?" He didn't! "Not me" did!

Sooooo, that started my brain-journey down the road of lying!! Why is it that lying comes so easily? What is the underlying sin of lying??? Or is there one? Does it stand alone? I know that one of the seven things God's hates is a lying tongue. (Pr 6:16-19) But the first one is a proud look.

Could that be it?? Do the rest fall in after pride for a reason?? Is it because of pride that we lie, so people won't know what we are really like?

As some of you who have been reading my blog for the past several months know, our family has been going through the worst "trial and sorrow" of our time thus far. It has been because of the choice of one "living a lie". The damage that can come from lying lips has new depth of meaning for me.

The previous verses in Proverbs 6 are indeed sobering:
12-15 "A worthless person, a wicked man, walks with a perverse mouth; he winks with his eyes, he shuffles his feet, he points with his fingers, perversity is in his heart, he devises evil continually, he sows discord. Therefore his calamity shall come suddenly; suddenly he shall be broken without remedy."

So, back to my "phone in the sock drawer" and how it ties in with all of this...... 20-23 "My son, (daughter), keep your father's (mother's, poppi's, mimi's) command, and do not forsake the law of your mother (father's, poppi's mimi's). Bind them continually upon your HEART; tie them around your neck. When you roam, they will lead you; when you sleep, they will keep you; and when you awake, they will speak with you. For the commandment is a lamp, and the law a light; reproofs of instruction are the way of life."

Because God hates lying, so do I. And because it is such a matter of the heart, I am committed to my children and grandchildren to remind them that "the commandment......the law....instruction" all identify the Word of God, which provides the wisdom leading to abundant and eternal life.

So, I press on "preaching the Word in season and out of season" with all who come across our threshold, especially our GRANDchildren so that they may learn to walk in the Light as children of Light and not in the darkness of a lying tongue.

True Womanhood

2009-01-18T12:59:00.000-08:00

This past week-end, I went on my annual prayer retreat that I love to do at the beginning of every new year. It is such a great opportunity to hear from God and evaluate the past year as to how I have seen Him work in my life. I am thankful for the dear friends who put it together and serve the 60-70 of us who gathered together for 24 hours away from our "normal, busy lives".

One thing they did differently this year was to let us view some great DVDs from a woman's conference held last October. Rather than tell you what we heard, I want to encourage you to go and listen and learn for yourself. I am looking forward to hearing the rest of them online. Click on the link. I know you will be blessed.

Overcome

2009-01-07T20:24:00.001-08:00

Overcome..............is that like Come over? In John 16:33 Jesus tells his disciples there in the Upper Room, where He has been giving them their final instructions on how to do this life.......His way....."I have told you all this so that you WILL have peace of mind and heart. Here on earth you WILL have many trials and sorrows, but, cheer up, for I have overcome the world."

ReallY?? MANY trials and sorrows?? No kidding!!! Right now, Jan 7, 2009, I would say that is putting it mildly.

Now, I would not have always said that. I grew up in the 50's in middle America where we never locked our doors.....cars or houses.....when we left them. Seriously!! We, my siblings and I, would take off down the street and go blocks away for hours on end to play.....in the puddles of water in a parking lot after a summer rain.........to go to the park and look under the bleachers for bottle caps and empty bottles to return for money at the local grocery store. I remember walking to the grocery story and signing my name on a little receipt for the few grocery items I picked up for Mother, or for the carton of chocolate milk I drank, or the two pieces of peanut butter logs I bought for 2 cents. Then either she or Daddy would go in once a month or so and pay the debt of all that had been "charged to our account"!! It was a "handshake agreement" between two honest men who believed each other!!

Doesn't that sound like another life time? And I am not THAT old!! I am 62. I have said many times recently to some of our peers that we grew up in the best era, to which they all agreed.

I never heard the word "divorce" / "school shootings" / "cancer" / "bi-polar" and on and on. Not because I was sheltered, but because that was how life was. There were not a lot of "trials and sorrows" around me. OR, it might have been that 10-year-olds just didn't hear of such things back then because they were still allowed to be children living in innocence of a child.

Now fast-forward 50 years!! What a contrast! Between Dec 30 and Jan 5th, I received three phone calls from three young women who love the LORD who are either separated or soon going to be, all looking to a possible divorce in 2009!! That, my friend, would be trials and sorrows.

I have heard of and experienced more "trials and sorrows" than I can recount in the last 12 months. Right now, I can not think of one person in my expanded circle of family and friends who is not going through some sort of "trial or sorrow".

Our daughter is headed for Denver to sign the papers on Friday that will be presented to the judge who will then declare her divorced from her husband of 11 1/2 years. In my mind, I see it this way. Last August it was like she had received the news that she had terminal cancer that would cause death soon. And this Friday that death is coming. It is the death of her life as we have known it for 11 1/2 years. I call this "trials and sorrows".

My three dear friends, married varying lengths of time, have received that same kind of "news" and are in the death process. The oppression is rampant. The stories of tragedies are daily, it seems.

BUT Jesus said that He told them (and us) the things that He did so that we could have PEACE of heart and mind. He backed that up with using that word "overcome". He has "overcome", so Cheer Up!! IS that enough? Is it enough just to tell yourself, "Jesus said Cheer UP!!!" So I am just going to think positively and this will all get better.

WHy? Why is it so hard right now for so many? I wonder? Is it like when Satan went to God as we are told in Job 1 and God put before him His righteous servant Job. God gave Satan permission to do anything he wanted to to Job, except kill him. I wonder??? Is that what God is doing with His Bride, the Church? Is He telling Satan he can have at us, but he can't kill us, to test us, to try us with "trials and sorrows" to see whether our faith is pure or not? Job never read the book of Job. He never got the answers.........the reasons for his "trials and sorrows"! But we get to read it and the lesson for us is that God can do that!! He can let Satan test His rightoues ones.........because He is GOD!!

And we can have peace of mind and heart because He has overcome the world!! Let's be overcomers in Jesus' name!! Cheer up!!

Slum-dog Millionaire

2009-01-07T20:13:00.000-08:00

Have you seen it yet? It is an amazing film..........the kind you keep thinking about days later. It is up for some Golden Globe awards and I am thinking that after it takes all of those, everyone will be talking about it and wanting to see it!! I don't know why it is not on the regular marquis at the theaters, nor even in most of the theaters.

It is an independent film, which takes the public a bit longer to hear about and thus slower to be viewed by the majority of movie-goers. I will not tell you anything about it and I reccommend you not look it up, but just take the plunge and see it with a clear mind, not prejudiced in any way about it because of someone's synopsis of it. You will be impacted.........and glad you were.

It has a great soundtrack on top of everything else that is creatively done throughout the film.

Thanks, G, for having me go with you to see it!!

Well, that's all I have to say about that for now!!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-26T06:56:00.001-08:00

I have been wondering how we came up with the term "Merry" as the adjective we most commonly use for Christmas??!! I know........kind of a lame thing to wonder about...........but , Hey!! It's my crazy brain. So, as lame as I am, I looked it up in my 1828 Noah Webster, huge, hard-back dictionary...........not on an I-Phone, etc.

"MERRY, a {Sax, mirige, myrig; Ar. to be joyful.
1. Gay and noisy; jovial' exhilarated to laughter.
Man is the merriest species of the creation.
2. Causing laughter or mirth; as a merry jest.
3. Brisk; as a merry gale. {This is the primary sense of the word.}
4. Pleasant; agreeable; delightful.
Chaucer....To make merry, to be jovial; to indulge in hilarity; to feast with mirth. Judges IX."

Well, that is something to ponder!! I don't think I have ever thought about that as my "greeting exhortation" to strangers or friends when I say to them "Merry Christmas"!! (which, by the way, I still choose to say to everyone........politically correct or not!) And now all the more since I have a fuller meaning.

Who but Christ Jesus the LORD, can bring that kind of delight to one's soul? And yet, even many who have been transferred, by His grace, from the kingdom of darkness to His marvelous Light, do not allow themselves this kind of indulging in hilarity and feasting with mirth over the birth of the Christ-Child!! Why is that?

As I take down the many nativity scenes in our home today, I will choose to continue my MERRY CHRISTmas!!

Pray about it???

2008-12-22T19:38:00.001-08:00

Posting, journaling, writing anything have all been an unusual struggle for me the past five months. Today, I did a lot of going back over my prayer journal and was so surprised to see how brief and ..............well.........I am not even sure how to describe it all. What comes to my mind is distant or unreal. Very unusual for me. I have journaled prayers, thoughts, reactions to God and His Word for almost 45 years, I would guess. And now it is hard??? I can't figure it out.

As you know (if you have read much of my blog over the past year), our family has undergone some changes........major ones!!! So, I know that when there are circumstantial changes sometimes habits change, too. And I guess I am finding out that writing my prayers in a journal was a habit I formed as a very young woman. I am wondering if that young woman has left this "older body"!!?? I would like to think not, but the reality is that something is very different about my quiet times and how they have always been. It is probably a good thing, but I think I miss the old me!!

I am not trying to sound as introspective and almost morose as this is, but wanting to just express my curiosity as to what has happened. Maybe it is because I have been questioned a lot recently about prayer and "why we pray" and "does it really matter" and "isn't God going to do what He is going to do" and the like!! Those questions don't bother me one bit and I really do think I have fairly sound, biblical answers for them. So........it is not that my faith in prayer is shaken as much as my style of practice has changed. I am not sure I am comfortable in my new me.

Maybe I will just pray about it!!

The Christ of Christmas

2008-12-03T18:23:00.001-08:00

While bringing down from the attic the bins and boxes of our many years of Christmas memories of our 42 years, I had the thought......"Why? Why do I do this year in and year out for 42 years?" I have had several hours to think about this, as it is an all day affair to get everything switched from "daily" to "Nativity celebration".

And in the process of unpacking and setting up many of my collection of various "Nativity scenes" I had my own answer to my thoughtful question. I do this because "Emmanuel" ...."God with us"!! That is it!!!! Christmas is my one chance to display in a special way that God is with me!! The amazing truth of God becoming a baby boy so that I could be filled with joy!!! Why would I not want to celebrate and display such an astounding reality that has forever changed my life and given to me the hope of life everafter!!

Over the past four months, without a doubt, it has been the very Presence of God in my life that has sustained, empowered, encouraged, fulfilled me while going through the worst storm of ours lives thus far. Because God became a Man Whose name was Jesus, the Christ, emptying Himself of the right to be exalted and worshiped as God while walking this earth, and giving His life as the payment for my sins, I, having trusted Him as my LORD and Savior, have gone through this trial of life with His peace, His provisions, His strength, His grace, His Truth, His power to trust and obey.

I have praised the LORD over and over, these past four months,for not taking Monty from me earlier this year with all of his heart events (about which I have posted previously). I am so thankful for our marriage and the way that we compliment one another in times of crisis, balancing perspectives and sharing each other's pain. I know that His grace would have sustained me as a widow, but practically speaking, having Monty here to comfort and support me when I felt a bit overwhelmed and allowing me to do the same for him made the enduring of this trial more bearable.

I can only say that my heart grieves for those who miss the whole point of Christmas. I pray that this year their eyes may be enlighted to the Light of the world in such a way that each one bows the knee to Him as LORD and thus finds the joy of keeping Christ in Christmas.

The Seeking Heart

2008-09-22T07:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was in a situation that I have described as "awkward, hard" to those who have asked me how it went. I had to be with someone for several hours with whom the LORD restrained my communication. I know this sounds a bit vague, but that is because I am choosing to be. The past several weeks our family has been going through some life adjustments, causing all of us to find ourselves in difficult places. At some point in the future I might share the first drafts I have written (but not posted) as I have gone through this. But, for now, I wanted to share what the LORD taught me yesterday.

It was not until late last night, when everyone was asleep, that I could finally sit down to journal and listen to Him explain to me the "audible thoughts" he was giving to me all day. {If you have walked with the LORD any length of time, you, no doubt, have also had "audible thoughts" from Him.} Throughout the day when this person would make a comment which did not necessarily require a response, but was surely inviting one, I found myself unusually unresponsive. With the spiritual gift of exhortation that the LORD has given to me, it is usual that He would bring to my mind a verse of Scripture or Biblical precept to share with a hurting person or one who has offended.

But, yesterday, when those "audible thoughts" would come to my mind, I would ask the LORD if I should speak them to the person, or were they just for me to know. All day long, He restrained me from speaking them. Over and over I asked Him if I should share what I was thinking. Each time, I just felt led to pray that He would speak to the person and share those same insights in His timing. It was, as I said....."awkward and hard".

Then last night I picked up a book I had not read for several years, that I pulled out about two months ago, called The Seeking Heart by Fenelon, written in the 17th century. I opened up to a page that was what God was wanting to teach me. I will share the excerpts that He used to explain what He was doing in my own life through those awkward hours.

The page was entitled “Dealing With Offenses”. The parts that really spoke to me were these:
You really need the Spirit of God to give you strength in your trials. His Spirit will hold back the overpowering nature of your natural strength……. God always attacks your weak side. When God aims to kill your old self nature, He touches the tenderest spot—the spot full of life!! This is why He gives you the kinds of trials that He does.
Allow yourself to be humbled. If you are silent and peaceful when humiliating things happen to you, you will grow in grace. I realize that you will be tempted to defend yourself for a thousand different reasons. But it is far better to be humbly silent. Humility that can still talk needs to be carefully watched. You will comfort yourself too much when you speak out.
Don’t be upset when things are said about you. Let the world talk; just seek to do the will of God …..Silent peace and sweet fellowship with God will repay you for every evil word spoken against you. People will come and go—let them do as they please. See only God. He is the One that afflicts or comforts you through people and circumstances. He does this for your benefit.

By the end of my time with LORD late into the night, I knew that I wanted that "Seeking Heart" that waited upon Him. This morning in my quiet time I came across a great verse in Isa 30:18....The LORD waits to be gracious to you, and He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who wait for Him. A note I had written beside it said... wait for = look, long, love, live for!!

Cycles of Life

2008-08-22T14:45:00.000-07:00

This post definitely is going to be one of my more difficult writings. I am having a hard time sorting out my racing thoughts, editing what to write and what not to write. Even knowing how to start has been difficult for me because of the many contrasting thoughts. I think I am just going to take the plunge and then maybe save drafts before publishing..........we'll see.

As you can see there has been over a month gap in my postings. That is because of various circumstances that have crashed into my life. I am not really sure that the seemingly important things, at the time, in July are now worthy of blog space. So I guess I have decided to eliminate all of those swirling thoughts and go to Aug 6, when I met with a surgeon who confirmed that I needed to have my gall bladder removed from the premises of my body. When I tried to tell him my dilemma... that I was planning to be gone Aug 15-23 to Jackson Hole, WY, and was wondering whether it needed to be done before, or could it wait????.....he offered to go into his office and look into his crystal ball to see if I would experience a sudden burst of pain while in the air and need emergency surgery.......!!!! To that I replied that was exactly what I was paying him the big bucks to do (I have $2500 deductible insurance which I will more than reach in the cost of all of this)!! So after the chuckles died down, I asked him what he was doing on Friday, Aug 8th!!! I suddenly felt compelled that I was to do this immediately. It was not an audible voice from the LORD, but I knew He was leading me to do this right away.

So, it all happened two days later...........At 8:30 a.m.,I entered the out patient surgery center for my first experience of any medical treatment with an anesthesia since I had my tonsils removed when I was 6!! I had not been in a hospital since my last baby was born 33 years ago! And I didn't even have an IV with her then!! And, by 5:00 p.m., I was walking into my house, minus one small body organ. I lay down on the bed and the phone rang!!!

That call led me into the darkest trial of our family's lives thus far. I say that because on my radar screen were only "real life" possibilities: the loss of a parent.....cancer for a family member, or causing the death of a best friend......death of a child.....death of my husband....car wrecks......loss of a grandchild.....financial reversal!! The "normal" tragedies of life, not desirable, but certainly understandable!!! That shock of that phone call had never entered my mind before. It was so upsetting that I called the doctor-on-call for my surgeon, weeping, and asking him if I could fly tonight after just coming home from surgery. I had a daughter who needed me and I wanted to get on a plane then.

Monty said absolutely not... and the next thing I knew, our daughter and her four children had round trip tickets from Denver to OKC, arriving at 11:30 p.m. Saturday (the next night)!!! Within that following 24 hour period of time we had found out that her husband had been living a lie for their whole 11 years of marriage and was not the person he pretended to be. NOT ONE OF US WHO KNEW HIM HAD A CLUE!!!! That, my friends, was never on my "Life's Difficulties" radar screen!!!

If you have read my previous blogs about Monty's heart attacks, you remember that I believe you learn in the light what you will need to live in the dark!! This was pitch black to all of us. I heard my daughter and her children wailing with me on the phone, with such horror and grief and sorrow that it was almost unbearable. I was hurting so deeply for them that I was not even aware of the pain from my surgery just 27 hours before. These grandchildren went from "we are going to go see Mimi and Poppi for a few days" to "we are moving to OK today, pack everything" in a matter of a couple of hours!!

He was a fire-fighter!! You expected that a call could happen someday that he was killed in rescuing someone else from danger, trying to save them from a fire, a burning car, etc. But none of us expected that he would be the cause of such destruction to his own family, and the many concentric circles touched by this precious family.

The questions began.....But, what about that "coming to Jesus" that was so genuine??? What is she to do....what school do we put her children in....should she divorce.....should she separate.....what about this......that.....how did we miss it???.....why??? Watching her gut-wrenching vomiting over and over, not able to sleep, can't eat, crying!!!

And, remember, we are supposed to fly to Jackson Hole for a vacation Aug 15-23!!! How could we possibly leave her and the children?? LORD, You knew this was going to happen!! Are we supposed to cancel........or were You planning for us to have that as a time to get away and pray and get prepared for walking this valley of the shadow of death with our daughter and grandchildren, who are now living with us for the next several months, at least!!?? Show us what we are to do, I prayed. And, I was finding myself coming to the realization that, yes, it was laparoscopic surgery....but it still was surgery!! He did cut into me and take out an organ that had been playing well for the past 61 years!!! For some reason, I thought it was going to be no big deal, which to me meant, I would be normal right away!! Remember, I had not had anything wrong with me ever before!!! I am a little slow!

I must rush in to say here that our three other children and their spouses have been amazingly helpful, prayerful, compassionate, sacrificial in caring for her and her children, making phone calls that had to happen, taking her places she had to go, but dreaded, getting them ready for their new school, getting clothes, loving and serving in every possible way. Not only that........but my friends have brought in food for almost two weeks now!!

So, we did come here to Jackson Hole, one week ago today. God has graced us once again in a needy time in our lives with loving, prayerful friends who are willing to bear another one of our burdens with us. (One year ago today, my mother died while we were up here with them.) We fly from here to Denver tomorrow where I will stay overnight with our other daughter and her family and then drive the van loaded with other needed things from their house, especially Jack, their beloved Rat Terrier, back home in OKC to do life in this new cycle.

I covet your prayers for healing and restoration from the devastating destruction one's choices have done to a precious, unsuspecting family.

To Exercise or Not To...that is the question???!!!

2008-07-17T14:24:00.000-07:00

Do you wonder sometimes if that exercise push is all that it is cracked up to be? I do, now that I am in my sixth decade and things don't move as easily as they used to. And I used to move things a lot when I was younger. I guess I am suspicious of it all now since I am beginning to have things other people have who have never worked out. Not that I felt like I was going to beat all odds and not have physical difficulties at some point in life....but I guess I am just surprised that it is upon me this "young".

I really know I shouldn't complain, as I have been very blessed with excellent health all of these years. And when I went in for an ultrasound this morning on my gall bladder, the technician reminded me of that when she asked me about the last time I was hospitalized. I said it was 33 years ago when my fourth child was born. She was shocked and said that I was definitely the exception. It's just that I am not in the same shape I used to be in and don't have the where-with-all to get it back again.

Walking and doing 450 crunches with my ab bar 3-4 times a week, just doesn't seem to cut it anymore. So, I wonder, do I stay in the battle of buffeting my body, as Paul talks about and listen to his counsel in 1 Tim that bodily exercise profits very little. I thought I was obeying the Word, but I think I have been deceived by those Paul warns us to avoid in Col 2:20-22 "You have died with Christ, and He has set you free from the evil powers of this world. SO why do you keep on following rules of the world, such as, 'Don't handle, don't ea, don't touch.' Such rules are mere human teaching about things that are gone as soon as we use them."

But verse 23 says...."These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, humility, and severe bodily discipline. But they have no effect when it come to conquering a person's evil thoughts and desires."

Well, there it is! I just answered my own questions. I don't exercise to get rid of my evil thoughts and desires...........but I do need to exercise for the purpose of strong devotion, humility and severe bodily discipline. Okay.........so now that I have worked that one out in my mind and heart, I guess I will get on my walking shoes and go for it........and get back into the routine of buffeting my body!!

Mimi in Real Life

2008-07-11T20:52:00.000-07:00

It seems that "posting time" has taken a back seat for me.........by back seat, I mean in a 15-passenger van!! There could be many reasons for my lack of creativity in expressing what has been transpiring in my tiny world, not the least of which is time management. I manage what little time there is left for me lately with trying to finish a book that has captured my interest more than my desire to post on my blog.

We (Monty and I, known here as Poppi and Mimi) are in Lakewood, CO with four of our grandchildren while their parents are on a much needed vacation in GA with friends on their annual trip to the Chattahoochee River.

Ryan,8(girl), Micah,6 1/2(boy), Addie, 5 next month(girl), and Presley, 3 1/2(girl) are managing my time more this week than I am. It has been a reminder of how much Mamas and Daddys need prayer for the awesome task that is at hand. Shaping the lives of children, which is what goes on in a home whether it is intentional or unintentional, is full time and has tremendous implications. Only God can give the wisdom, strength, endurance, joy and peace that is needed to do this job well.

When I was doing this same job in a full-time capacity many moons ago, I remember thinking (to myself.....I didn't dare say it out loud) that Jesus didn't really know what it was like to be a Mama......you know, tempted in all points like we are!!! But, in His still small voice that I had come to know so well, He reminded me of the 12 "children" He trained, not the least of which was rebellious Judas Iscariot, and the sons of thunder who wrangled about who was the best and should be seated in the best place!!! And those were adults, acting like children!! That had to be really hard!! At least these children are acting their ages.

It really has been a good week for us, aside from the two hottest days of the year without AC in the house!!! SO, we spent the afternoon today in a mall to kill the hottest part of another hot day inside with air-condtioning. Some would say that is demented, taking four children to walk around a mall for three hours, but they don't know us!!! There it was!! Our salvation..... a booth that wanted to take their photo for the bargain price of $20 for an 11x14. They had us when they said they had old-fashioned costumes the children could wear with all of the hats, parasols, caps and bats, necklaces, etc.. You mean they can play "dress-up" and kill some more time in AC? You bet we will spend the $20! Who wouldn't?? (That was a much better deal than the silly Merry-Go-Round there for $8 for a three minute dizzy-maker-ride!!)

Going through the dresses for the girls and the shirts, vests and caps for Micah, and adding all of the accessories made it all worthwhile. And thanks to technology, we were able to see that there was not one good shot of them!!! So we got our money back....sad for them....glad for us!! (Ty and Kaylyn would never have put that 11x14 up in their home, not even in the laundry room in the basement!!!)And we killed enough time to allow us now to head to the "dining in facilities" (also know as the Food Court)for expert mall culinary cuisine!!!

So, now for those of you who have endured this stab at "bringing you into my world", just let me know if you need any other suggestions for perfect grandparenting!!

Above and Beyond

2008-06-19T18:11:00.000-07:00

Thinking back over the past couple of weeks since my last post, so much has happened that I hardly know where to begin on this post. First I think I need to share how the week at Frontier Ranch ended.

On our last day there, after we drove some go carts around a track, Monty mentioned that he wanted to rappel down the mountain that Nick, Rachel and I had done the day before. The one hitch about that idea was the climb up he would have to do in order to rappel down the 125 foot cliff!!! The camp doctor, who was at the track, told me that if he had chest pains and needed nitro, to come back down and not finish the hike. He asked if he had a fear of heights, to which I responded with a grin that he used to be a super-sonic jet pilot!!! No problem with heights!

The short story...........he did it!!! That is how "above and beyond all that we could ask or imagine" God has answered our prayers for him only four months before. He was so thrilled as he, Rachel and I rappelled down together!

The next cool God-thing......at the ledge below was a young man from Central Denver for whom I had been praying all week. He had been in a near fatal accident only 11 months before which left him brain dead for 12 hours, in a coma for 16 days and having to learn to talk, eat, use the bathroom and everything else. And here he was at Frontier Ranch, hearing how God has been extravagantly pursuing him since the day he was born. He said he is not ready to trust the LORD because of what happened to him. And yet he trust a rope and a carabineer on the side of a cliff. I continue to pray for him and thank God that He allowed me the privilege of putting a face with a name. What a blessing that was for me.

That evening in the final club time, they had a "Say So" time where probably a third of those students stood to tell the rest that they had chosen to follow Jesus the rest of their lives. Only the LORD knows what He is going to do in those young people's lives. How blessed we were to be there to see Him at work, transferring students from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of His marvelous Light!!!

Frontier Ranch

2008-06-03T14:07:00.000-07:00

Monty and I are enjoying the majesty of the collegiate peaks of Colorado outside of Buena Vista at the Young Life Frontier Ranch. We came up here with Nick and Rachel (our son-in-love and daughter)as "adult guests" to observe what happens at a Young Life camp for high school students. They are maxed out serving 503 of us this week, which is more than capacity for them. This place is a well-oiled machine where unchurched kids are loved and served to the fullest to show them Jesus and what He can do in their broken lives. They have been doing this here since 1951, with great old photos all over the place to prove it!!

If you are looking for a place to send your student who might not be so sure about Jesus and His pursuit of him/her, OR......if your student already has a walk with Jesus, but just needs to be with other Christian kids in a serve-others-for-Jesus setting, then you probably should go to the Young Life website and peruse to your heart's content. There is work for college-aged or high-schoolers in any number of capacities.

When I was 16 years old, I came to a YL camp up here in at another ranch just down the side of this mountain. It was a great experience for me to see many of my friends come to faith in Jesus because of the way they were loved for a week by these "strangers" who had no reason to serve them like they did. That was a long time ago, and this week has been so nostalgic for me to think back to what I saw happen in kids' lives. And now to be here and to be the one praying for God to work in the 476 students who are campers from Knoxville,TN, Northern CO, MO, TX, and Central Denver as well as some special needs campers in Capernaum . This week, God could change the course of their lives, from brokenness to wholeness in Him.

Greatest lessons I have learned

2008-06-02T20:27:00.001-07:00

This title is not an original one; in fact it came from a book by that name that was compiled by Bill Bright, founder of Campus Crusade for Christ. I have had that book for several years, but had never read all of the stories in it until recently. On my walks in the neighborhood with Monty, I have been reading these interesting accounts of many people(some well-known in Christian circles and some not so well-known)and their "greatest lesson learned".

"How would you answer that question?" I asked myself!! And I would ask you that, as well. For me, I think I came up with two that have impacted me the most. Without going into the details of "how" I learned the lessons, (as was done in the book)I just want to cut to the chase and say "what" they are.

They both came very close to the same time in my Christian life, several years ago, and have certainly been the most impacting since becoming a follower of Jesus nearly a lifetime ago, it would seem. The first was that "I do not have to live the Christian life!" Christ is the only One Who can and by His amazing grace, He chooses to do that through me by His Spirit. I realized, after years of trying to "do all of the right things as a believer" that God's program is not a "do-it-yourself" or self-improvement course of following all of the rules and regulations of the Law. But, rather it is God Who is at work in me both to will and to do His good pleasure. Phil 2:13.

There are many great writings that explain how that all happens far better than I could in this brief post. And that is true also for the second great lesson I have learned and loved living.

IT is the sovereignty of God. I remember wrestling in my spirit with the LORD about this because my finite mind just could not put it all together. SO, one year when I was choosing my topic for the year in reading through the Bible, I picked "sovereignty" as the doctrine I would look for and mark!!! I was blown away at the end of that year when I went back through the version I used that year and saw how many times I had written "Sov" in the margins. I would say that it was on nearly every page.............at least once!!! I LOVED IT!!! And, I have loved it and lived it ever since.

I am redoing a study I did many years ago by Jerry Bridges, who was with the Navigators Ministry in Colorado for many years, called Trusting God. Both, the book and the study guide, are excellent and I highly recommend them if you are struggling or have struggled with the issue of His sovereignty. Give yourself a treat, and dive into this wonderful doctrine, if you have not done so by now. It is a great place to live and to love........God and others!!!

End of Trial

2008-05-08T13:13:00.000-07:00

I titled this "End of Trial" because in one sense it would seem that we have just experienced that "End" with the visit with the cardiologist a couple of days ago to hear the results of recent tests. With a big smile on his face, Dr. Kerns delightedly informed us of the good news that Monty has recovered exceptionally well.

The medical terms are: 1)his ejection fraction of the heart is at 45% (which was at 30% after his second heart attack)!!! That is really a lot better than he thought it would be and to put it in perspective, normal is not 100%, as one would expect, but rather 55%!! The Dr was pleasantly surprised with that. He said that it was because of prayer that Monty's is so good!! AMEN to that!!

2) Having gained as much as that 10-15% means that he won't need a defibrillator, which is good news.

3)He also is not at risk for major fatal heart rhythm problems.

4)The echo cardiogram and PET Scan did show that 20% of the heart muscle is dead and that he has about 70% usage of his heart.

5)His kidney levels (creatinine) have come down from the high point and seem to have leveled off...........still a bit high, but not requiring more serious treatment. He has 30% function of his kidneys. The left kidney does have some stones and the right one has cysts. They are still a "wait and see" thing.

6)He is now able to have some reductions in the medications made, hoping to continue that down to a minimal amount.

So, you, too, may offer your praises and thanksgiving to the LORD for His amazing power and how He encourages with such amazing answers to prayers.... going beyond what we could ask or think. (Eph 3:20)

So thus, life begins to move along with more normalcy as this immediate trial has seemingly come to an end. We just now live life with a little bit better perspective and different lifestyle (heart-healthy eating ALL the time)!!

Trusting God

2008-05-06T09:13:00.000-07:00

Last night I was privileged to sit in on an interesting discussion about "Trusting God". Truly, conversations like that are "holy" moments, times of sanctuary = "set apart" times for reflection and soul-searching. So often our conversations are so frivolous and shallow, really without much thought or eternal value, even, dare I say, sinful???!!! By that I mean, not "holy", nor edifying, nor glorifying to God and His character.

As I thought about all of this, in the wee hours of the morning when the thunder jolted me from my dead sleep, a reminder of a lesson I learned years ago through a near-death car wreck. Shortly after we had arrived home from CA.......which is where we were headed when we had the wreck in AZ, having been left for dead by a "hit-and-run" 18-wheeler....I found myself, sitting with my journal in hand, asking the LORD to teach me about trusting Him more fully and how will I know what is important and what is not!!! In a non-audible voice, He spoke to me. (Now please, don't freak out....I am not talking about latter day revelations or visions, but just that still small voice of my Shepherd lovingly guiding me into His way of the green pastures!!)

Anyway, two questions came to my mind that would help me to know whether what i was doing was of Him (and thus important) or of self (and not so important). 1)Does this glorify God? and 2) Will this last forever? If the answer to one or both is "No"... then why do it?

So, I began to ask myself those questions about almost everything I was doing. "What about cleaning toilets?" "What about doing laundry?" "How about exercising?" and on and on it went for me. How do I answer those questions with the mundane? Well, in this whole "trusting God" issue the topic of obedience came up and how it relates to trusting God, glorifying Him, etc. And it was suggested that it is a matter of the heart. So, yes, cleaning toilets, doing laundry, exercising, witnessing or even journaling can glorify Him and thus last forever!! His glory is forever and we get to participate in that as we trust and obey!! What a privilege!!

Expelled

2008-04-30T11:38:00.000-07:00

THE MOVIE EXPELLED

Evolution is a FACT, there is not a shred of evidence for intelligent design, a total incompatibility between God and science, It could be that life (by Darwinian means) could have “designed” a form of life that was “seeded”…you might find a sign of some “design . . .” Richard Dawkins

Some assorted quotes from the movie “EXPELLED” follow (as best as remembered): Creation of the earth= Lighting and the energy “managed to arrange” molecules for the primordial soup. Molecules “piggybacked” onto crystals and opened the way for natural selection from simple to complex….and a chance for life to arise on its own. Religion is the cause of all terrorism. The teaching of Intelligent Design would stunt educational growth. Why should we eliminate a possible Creator? What about academic freedom? If you want a piece of the pie you must be a good comrade. Core view (Evolution) doesn’t tolerate or allow dissent. You can’t question the paradigm (Darwinism evolution). Open mindedness is not allowed. There is a fear of unraveling Darwinism. There is incredible complexity, but this can’t be discussed openly. Is Darwinian evolution adequate for what we see? Darwin didn’t have the microscopic element to SEE the vast complexity. There is a full frontal attack on religion….religion gets the wrong answer (God), one of them has to win, and it has to be science. Freedom is the essence of America. Freedom is what makes America great. Why do we not have the freedom to follow the evidence where ever it leads? There is more academic freedom in Poland than the U. S. A. Keep science in the box where God is NOT allowed. Truth will rise again….No lie can last forever.

Hopefully many of you will take advantage of the opportunity to see this documentary about the incredible controversy about even the possibility that Intelligent Design exists in our universe, and that you will realize the incredible fight that is going on for basically TRUTH. We are so “politically correct” that we are losing (have lost) our basic freedoms. Universities and colleges are NOT the marketplaces for free exchange of ideas, but rather the indoctrination factories of our children for one view only, the Atheistic Marxist view. Pilot asked in John 18:38 “What is Truth?” We still, in our enlightened 21st century cannot seem to figure that out. We are seeing a fulfillment of I Timothy 4 and II Timothy 3, and II Peter 3. Perhaps the greatest encouragement to Christians at this particular time in history is the confidence of knowing that God will get His job done, with or without us, He is pleased to use us as we are available, but HE is the ONE who overcomes the power of sin and death: These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. John 16:33 (Comments from Dr. Jobe Martin...Biblical Discipleship Ministries)

The Least of These

2008-04-23T17:49:00.000-07:00

Matt 25:37-40
37 "Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 38'And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39'When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' 40 " The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'

Recently, God has led me into a totally new ministry which is very exciting to me.... ministering to the VERY LEAST OF THESE ~ the hungry, the thirsty, the stranger, the naked!! Is there anyone LESS than a newborn, an infant or a toddler with no home?

I am humbled to serve on the Board of Directors for The Anna's House Foundation.
If you will click on that title you can peruse the website for more information.

Several months ago, Greg and Beth Harkins, the founders, were sitting in front of me in church, holding precious, little Anna. Of course, being the Mimi that I am, I had to hold her!! THAT DID IT!!! It was a God moment (hour) for me! My heart was so drawn to her heart. I already had prayed for Anna for months......ever since she had come into the Harkins' home as a foster baby with severe health problems.

Since God usually gently leads us into His plans and purposes, I was not surprised when shortly after that time in church, at a women's conference with optional local ministry workshops, I was drawn to the one for newborns in crisis and then the one for foster parenting/mentoring. That was the second "God-tapping" on my heart. And then the very next day, Beth called to ask if I would pray about serving on the Board. Needless to say, God was speaking to me loudly and clearly by now!!

So, I wanted to share this with you, just to let you know that we would love to have you pray with us about this new venture/vision in caring for the "Least of These in OKC". If, in your praying, God should lead you in a desire to become involved in any capacity with us, there is contact information on the website.

Thinking Back

2008-04-05T18:58:00.000-07:00

Since Monty and I have had these past (almost) six weeks with many hours of being together alone,(refer back to Older Posts "Through the Valley of the Shadow"Mar 11-26) I have reflected back to our courtship and marriage before children, which was from 1964-1969. We met on a blind date (blind to me, not him) the first Sunday of my freshman year at college. Within two months we were committed to each other in a dating relationship and then married in 1966. And in those years and the first two of our married life (the third year he was flying helicopters in SE Asia) we spent a lot of time alone, talking, praying, playing......... just enjoying each other immensely.

And just today,when we were going to our second grocery store, we were talking about how much we have enjoyed spending all of this time together in his recovery from his recent heart attacks. He is getting closer to being able to drive alone and be on his own again, and I asked him if he will be glad to have that freedom from me. His reply, "Not at all!! I will miss you. I like to be with you!!"

My encouragement to those of you who are marred is to take time to be alone with each other ~ doing things you enjoy ~ even while you are busy with your "family things". Monty and I made it a habit to get away for a week-end every six months........just to keep our friendship vibrant and alive. We couldn't afford to go anywhere nice and that was not the point. It was just to connect in a relaxing setting without being interrupted. We usually swapped baby-sitting week-ends with other families. (Some got jipped because we had four children and they only had two or three!!!)

Several times we have commented on how thankful we are that we love each other so much and how hard this whole trial would have been if we did not enjoy each other's company. It is a great thing to be married to my best friend!!!

Good News

2008-03-26T15:49:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to give a brief report from our visit to the doctor today for Monty's one-week-from- dismissal-check-up!!! And it was good news on several counts. One is that he can eat protein now. Previously, I mentioned that he could only have 7 grams of protein/day. Well, on Monday I called that dietitian back to tell her that was impossible....... and she said that she meant 7 oz/day!! Poor Monty!! That was a difficult 4-5 days for him. But, Dr. Kerns said today that he did not have to limit his protein...........just the salt!! However, his creatinine has gotten higher, not lower, so the kidney function is still a concern. He did reduce some of his meds..... which we pray will change that!!

The second good news was that the doctor felt like we "have finally turned a very slow corner, but that Monty had turned it"!!! Dr. Kerns really feels like he is ready for cardiac rehab to get him strong and healthy again. He is very encouraged with the progress he is making, heart and lung wise!!! So, he gave Monty permission to start driving again...........first with me, you know, learner's permit sort of thing!!!

Later the same evening...........
Well, Monty just passed his first driving test!! We cheated death again and made it safely into the garage!!

So, we thank you all so much for your prayers for his continued recovery over the next month or so. Our next appointment for the PET scan and echo cardiogram of his heart will be May 2. We will know then how damaged his heart (that front wall) is. His on-going needs are sleeping at night and kidney function improvement.

Encouraging Words

2008-03-21T19:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it seems a strange thing how unexpectedly encouraging words can change us. With that most recent stay in the hospital (Mar 14-19), God provided us with some "Barnabas" experiences. One happened on Monday morning when I was walking the halls of the Heart Hospital while going over what was happening with one of my daughters who is in CO. Long story short, I ran into the doctor (Dr. Ghanni) who had done the procedure on Monty when he was having his second massive heart attack.

He seemed surprised to see me. When I told him that we were back because of the fluid on Monty's lung and that this had been our second trip to the ER since we had left on the 6th, he said he was sorry to hear that. But then he went on to say that with all of the events that had happened to him (7 in 7 days), it is no wonder. He explained that it is a balancing act for doctors to find the right combination of medications for each individual and sometimes dehydration occurs (the first trip back) and congestive heart failure, = fluid on the lungs, occurs. And then came the encouraging words!!! "But in a couple of months, he will be fine......back to his activities and strong again!"

I asked him if he really believed that.......to which he replied, "I have NO DOUBT!!! His heart has made it through these two things just fine and with the adjustment to his meds and some time to recover from the two blows to his heart, he will be fine!!" Now I tell you, friends, those were encouraging words!!

The second source of encouragement came from the home health nurse today when she saw him, listened to his heart and lungs and said "You sound great! Your heartbeat is strong and regular and your lungs are completely clear!"

If you have been on this journey with us the past few weeks, I hope you are encouraged by this blog and are praising the LORD with us!!

(P.S.) One prayer request: his kidney function is still in jeopardy. He can only have 7 grams of protein a day and only 1 gram of salt. Pray that either his kidney heals, or I learn soon how to make tasty food without much protein options!!!

Through the Valley of the Shadow #7

2008-03-20T21:36:00.000-07:00

Looking back into these events from this perspective now gives me even greater understanding of how important it is to see God's sovereignty over all. Clearly, He was orchestrating the timing of Monty's having those 7 events in 7 days, which as several nurses and physicians have said to us usually happen with heart patients over 7-10 years. No wonder they were afraid to let us go home. They were not sure of what would happen next. But, the LORD knew, and had such a great plan for us.

Mar 4 (Notes from my journal)
Still in the Heart Hospital
Well, Precious LORD, how grateful I am that I have you in my life to live this trial by the power of Your Life, Your Spirit within me. I cannot imagine how unbelievers do this.
Romans 14:7-8 None of us lives to himself [but to the Lord], and none of us dies to himself [but to the Lord, for] 8 If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or we die, we belong to the Lord. AMP

Another hard night with very little sleep, which has become the norm for me. I know that I am being sustained by Your power in answer to the many prayers my brothers and sisters are saying on my behalf. Bless them, LORD Jesus, as only You can for their faithfulness to pray for us. You have given to us the peace that surpasses all comprehension, and I know it full well. We are so blessed with such wonderful friends.

When another long time friend came in this morning, I saw tears well up in Monty’s eyes and I knew he needed time alone with him. So once again, I had everyone leave so they could say whatever was on their hearts. Monty could not talk about it all day long without getting emotional. We had so many visitors, which he thoroughly enjoyed. I know that helped all of them, also, since they had prayed so fervently for him all of this time. How blessed they were to see him looking so well.

Now it is just a matter of getting his meds all at the right levels for his clotting, fluid retention, and kidney function. I do thank You for allowing scientists to discover what they have about helping the body through medication. I know that You are sustaining Monty’s life through those means.

I praise You for the many ways You are displaying Your power and glory to others looking on. I thank You for Monty’s boldness with each of the techs and nurses who have cared for him. He made such a great statement the other day; “The one who wipes your bottom deserves the same respect as the doctor who looks into your heart! Each of them is doing their job to help him.” Thank You for giving me such a man!!

Mar 5
Heart hospital – 3 a.m.
To You, Father God, be the glory. This is all about You. It has been in Your plan which You have been unfolding before us our lifetime together. As I have been lying here for the last hour, trying to go back to sleep (which I thought I needed so much), I have been going over in my mind the events of the past 9-10 days, I see Your hand all over it. I don’t know how or where any of this information will go, but I know it has all happened for Your glory. How humbled both of us are that You would choose us as a showcase of Your grace and glory through such a trial as this. I pray that You will continue to use it to heal relationships that are broken, help others speak words of love to one another.

Thank You, thank You, thank You!! How faithful You are to answer prayers that I prayed so many years ago. Thank You that You never forget what I have asked through the years, and that it is in Your perfect way and time. Over and over I have seen Your hand in the lives of those who are coming around us and going through this process with us.

“I magnify You, O LORD. I exult Your name, for You are great and highly to be praised. I praise You for the glorious splendor of Your majesty and the power of Your awe-inspiring acts. Your power is unlimited and absolute—it is beyond imagining. You are able to do immeasurable more than we can ask or dream of. ‘There is nothing too hard for You’. “Who is like You, majestic in holiness, awesome in You praiseworthy deed?’
“O LORD Most High, You rule over the heavens and the earth, for You made all things by Your great power and You sustain them by Your mighty Word. You are exalted high above every star and galaxy in the entire cosmos…….yet You are also ‘the God of all mankind,’ the great, personally present, personally involved God who loves, rescues, and takes care of all who trust You. You exercise Your gracious authority over all nations—and over each individual in all the world. There is none like You, the true God, the living God, the everlasting King.
“I praise You for Your sovereignty over both the broad events and the details of my life. With You ‘nothing is accidental, nothing is incidental, and no experience is wasted’…… ‘You hold in Your own power my breath of life and all my destiny’…… and every trial that You allow to happen is a platform on which You reveal Yourself, showing Your love and power, both to me and to others looking on. Thank You that I can move into the future non-defensively, with hands outstretched to whatever lies ahead, for You hold the future and You will always be with me, even to my old age….and through all eternity.” 31 Days of Praise by Ruth Myers

Mar 6
Day 11 in OKla Heart Hospital
Well, after being up since 4:15, I am ready for a nap, and it is only 9 in the morning! But we are so encouraged by what Dr. Kerns said this morning. When he came in, he said, “Do you want the good news or the good news?” The creatinine had stayed the same, which is 3.0. So they believe it has made the plateau. His INR was at a 3.1, which is high, so they are stopping one of the clotting meds. So, he said, that he is sure that he can go home tomorrow. Monty was disappointed and said he thought he was going to say the good news was that he could go home today. So, Dr. Kerns said that he would see if Dr. Wilson was okay with the creatinine being there and with sending him home and that maybe we would be able to leave later this afternoon. He asked me if I was okay with that, to which I said I did not want him to go home if he had any doubts about it.

Joy, the nurse who was taking care on Monty on Saturday when he had the second heart attack, came by to see him. She had been so great that day and we became very much kindred spirits. She was so calm and so professional and quick in the time of the emergency. I told her how thankful we were that she was his nurse that day. She told us she works down in the cath lab where they do the procedures and was only up here because they were short-handed and called her to sub for someone. She knew that You, Father God, had appointed her to be here for us.

Then suddenly at 4:00, they said we could go home!! Hallelujah!! What a mighty God You are!

Mar 7
HOME
Thank You, Father God, Sovereign LORD in Whom I live and move and have my being. What a miracle worker You are. Thank You, LORD!!! This entire journey has been just one blessing after another. Your mighty hand has shown us just a tiny bit of Your power to do more than we can ask or think. I pray that You will bring to my remembrance all of the great things You have done so that I will be quick to give You the glory and the praise. I can’t help but go back to that verse You gave us the day we went into the hospital……
Psalms 27:14 Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the LORD.

Mar 8
Saturday at home
Most Gracious and Loving Father God, again, we have seen You fulfill Your word to us. How thankful I am that You have chosen to strengthen Monty’s physical heart as well as his spiritual one…………and mine………….and our children. You have lifted each of us and set us on higher ground. How thankful we are that You are the center of our lives, individually and as a family. Praise Your name. even though we are not sure how well he is really doing in his heart, I know that You are the true “Heart doctor”. And I truly do not fear whatever You have for us.

Through the Valley of the Shadow #6

2008-03-20T18:53:00.001-07:00

SO much has been happening this week, that I have not even had the time to edit my journal to add a new post. I will try to wrap up this soon. It is important to share some of the details because I believe God is the God of every detail of our lives and I have seen how He sovereignly worked in such small details. One of these is shared in this post..............answer to prayers of a young teen-ager praying for her "would-be-someday-mate"!! I want each one who reads this to be encouraged to trust and obey......for this is no other way to be happy in Jesus (to quote a favorite hymn)!!

Mar 3, 2008
Oklahoma Heart Hospital
LORD God Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, Giver of life, both physical and eternal, hallowed be Your name. You are the ever present One Who controls all things by Your Omnipotence and according to Your eternal plan. I worship You as my Sovereign LORD and Savior, Who lives in me and loves me completely. How thankful I am to be in this place that You have me now, and to be experiencing Your blessings in the midst of all of this. Thank You for last night and the wonderful blessings You shower upon me as Monty’s wife. I am so humbled by the fact of the way that You have answered my many prayers I prayed as a young teen-aged girl, who wanted to serve You.

It was so special to me that when Monty was talking to Kaylyn about wanting to take his sleeping pill at 9:00 and then another one at 2:00………..and again at 4:00, if he still weren’t sleeping. Kaylyn assured him that Rachel would be here to take good care of him. He kind of paused and said, “Oh, Rachel is staying here tonight???” Kaylyn asked if that was okay……….and then asked if he wanted me........ He said he wanted me!!! And meanwhile, I was out in the hall talking on the phone and a bit disappointed that I wasn’t staying with him. Then Kaylyn came out and told me what he said. How I thank You that I am so loved by him. It warmed my heart and it turned out that we had such a great time talking through all of this and what You are doing. Thank You for allowing me to share with him all that I have seen Your hand doing in this week.

It is wonderful to have a husband who “gets it!!!” Last night when we were talking and praying, our concern was for the larger picture, larger than just our family, knowing that there were angels all around us and that thousands of people have heard about Your story in our lives. I know that You will use this whole experience in the lives of many people since Rachel has been writing about it on her blog. I read to him her blog and he relearned much of the details of this whole ordeal that he had lost in the journey, and was quite alarmed at the seriousness of it all. Thank You for the prayer time we had together, and how intimately we have been connected when we have these times alone.

Then we had a really good night of sleep………he had about 8-8 ½ hours and I had probably 6 ½ -7. It was great. And then the children all came in one by one and told of the rough nights they all had, which made my heart smile!! You gave us the blessing of a good night while You awoke them (and many others) to intercede for us. And suddenly early this morning, a dear old friend of Monty's walked in!!! Their eyes met, and Monty’s immediately filled up with tears. He came around and took his hand, and with a shaky hand Monty held on tightly. I could tell they needed to talk and so I had the children all leave with me so they could be alone.

O my God, You are doing a work here that is far greater than what we could have imagined. How could we have known that this was the way You were going to answer our prayers months ago about bringing healing in relationships!!! I found Monty, still very emotional. All he could say when I asked him how it went and what was said was that "just his presence was enough!" He said that they told each other that they loved each other. How great You are, LORD! You are the God of all love, Thank You.

Monty has been so emotional all day and has been so quick to tell others of his love for them. I think the impact of this week is just really beginning to sink in for him. He has been able to separate the urgent from the important and learn how much he is loved. We were surprised when Dr. Ghanni came in this morning to make rounds for Dr. Kerns, telling us that he had had a procedure done and would be back tomorrow. Well, we learned what the procedure was!! While Dr. Kerns was at his cabin at the lake, he began to have some of his own heart problems, called the hospital, scheduled his own surgery and his family drove him straight here on Sunday. At 2:00 p.m. they put a pacemaker/defibrillator in him. He was dismissed this morning and went home for the day.

Dr. Ghanni said that the echo cardiogram done last night showed that the front wall of the left anterior part of his heart was flat, which meant that it was not completely dead in that it did not bow up when pushed by the lower part of the beating heart. He said that it could repair since it was not bowed. Time will tell if it has any life or not. He also said that his creatinine serum (kidney) was up and that he still had fluid in his lungs. They were working on his meds to try to balance them all to get the fluid off, keep his heart rate regular, his blood pressure down and not damage the kidney, and thin his blood to prevent clotting. It was a real trick. Monty still was pretty weak, but was beginning to feel better.

After all that we had been through over the week-end, we were looking forward to a “boring” time for a change. "Boring" is a word they are looking for with heart patients here. {It has been hard for me to find the time to journal all of this, and now I am writing the rest of this several days after the fact, trying to remember details. But it is all much of a blur for me. My computer began to lose power, with an error notice that said the battery was dangerously low and to plug it in or change the battery. I always kept it plugged in, so this made no sense. Finally, Nick took care of it, called Dell, and had them send me a new adapter cord over night. But I still was without this journal for three days….this is the fourth…..and my brain is having a hard time putting the pieces in the right places. }

Some of the verses that have been so special to me that friends have shared with me: Isa 45:3 I will give you treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places, that you may know that I, the LORD, Who call you by your name, AM the God of Israel.
Psa 34: I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make its boast in the LORD; The humble shall hear of it and be glad. Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt His name together...........The angel of the LORD encamps all around those who fear HIM, and delivers them. Oh taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him.

Through the Valley of the Shadow #5

2008-03-16T18:55:00.000-07:00

It has been so good for me to go back and reread my journal. Thank you for listening to me share excerpts from it. There have been other things that have happened in the lives of many others since our time spent in the hospital. I fear that if I put it all in here, I would most certainly be the only one reading it, and I have already done that!! I hope this blesses and encourages others to journal, but more importantly to "trust in the LORD with all your heart, and don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him = make Christ known, and he will make your paths straight."

Mar 2, 08 (my journal)
Last night, when I was sitting in the room and thinking Monty was asleep, I heard his voice say to me …..”Do you want to pray?” How that always warms my spirit and soothes my heart!! So I got up and we held hands as he prayed something like this “Father, You are in charge of all of this. I don’t know what You want. But if I perish, I perish. I just want to do it well for your glory!! I pray for there to be healing in relationships that need it. I trust You. In Jesus’ name. Amen!”

As I have shared many times today………could I ask for anything more from You? It doesn’t get any better than that!! You have given to me my heart’s desire, a godly husband who loves You more than his very life.

Today was another eventful day, unfortunately. However, the outcome was quickly positive in the resolve of it. This time Monty was having a hard time breathing, turned very pale. The hard part was that he had said to Kaylyn and Gwyneth that he felt like he wasn’t going to make it. They came to get me as I was in the hall visiting with some friends. Very shortly all six of us were gathered there together with tears as Monty was having such a hard time. It was for us “the shadow of death” once again. But Your Word immediately came to my mind again……..though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death........... And now as I reflect back on it:...... through = you pass through it, you don’t stay in it!! I often have meditated on that, too, and that it is a valley which means there are mountains == beauty, grandeur, height……….to which the valley leads, and it is a shadow and shadows are not the real thing. The shadow of death is very different from death itself, which has no fear. Fear comes when we are going through something, but when death has occurred, it is all over. Death is not the fear for a believer, because death is the avenue to our fulfilled hope……….life with YOU, LORD Jesus.

Back to the episode, the nurses, etc. brought in the right meds, did an ECG, working very quickly and within 15 minutes he was stabilized. Being professionals, they could recognize that it was not a heart attack, even though many symptoms were the same, but that it was congestive heart failure because of the buildup of the fluids on his lungs. Since Monty had a rough night before with very little sleep, the nurse let him rest most of the morning without getting him up or sitting him up. With all of the fluids they were flushing through him, his lungs were beginning to fill up because of his shallow breathing, a result of a weakened heart. Thus, he was having congestive heart failure, another new issue. More new medicines to adjust to the litany of others already!!

So, here I was again, wondering what You were doing that was way beyond the immediate……..in the lives of many others who are watching, praying and waiting to see how You are receiving the glory due Your name. As the many people call, email, send cards and notes, bring food, etc., I am so aware that this is all for any one of them as well as for us and our immediate family. So people continued to pour out their love and concern to us with their visits.

Once they started getting the fluids out of his lungs, he was doing so much better and continued to improve through the rest of the day and night. He began feeling much better and continued to do so. They had ordered an echocardiogram that was due to be done at 12:00. Dr Ghani had prepared us that the echo would not tell us a lot we didn’t already know, but was going to give us a baseline for future ones down the road. But, they also want to see if there is any movement in the front wall of the heart to see if it is dead or not. They know that his heart has taken a big hit and that the blood supply is not being demanded by the heart to flow through the artery. They finally came to do the echo at 7:00 P.M. and told us we probably won’t hear anything until the morning.

Rachel is planning on spending the night tonight with Monty, as she has not had much alone time with him this whole week. Since she was sick so much at the first of the week, she kept going home to go to bed and get her fever down. She was running 102+ for the first few days and has been fighting back and feeling better since getting antibiotics.. And, I think the kids are worried about me because I am not getting much sleep up here and they think I need to go home and sleep.

Gracious Father, how I depend on You and praise You for the knowledge and awareness of Your Presence in the midst of all of this. I say again, glorify Yourself in me!!

Through the Valley of the Shadow #4

2008-03-16T09:50:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note to update: I am trying to do this blog while we are in the hospital again. We made our third trip to the ER on Friday night (Mar 14 at 10:00). (The first ER was that Monday morning, the second ER was three days after we went home) Monty was not doing well most of the afternoon/evening, which was so the opposite of the 5 days previously. We had some friends over and watched a movie (a good recommendation: The Queen) and Monty asked me to rub his neck and shoulders, that he felt tight. If you remember..........that is what he said the Sunday night he had the heart attack at home!!! When we were getting ready for bed, I could tell he was just off. He had a fever and was breathing really hard. He had taken a nitro, which helped. I called the home health nurse who told us to go to the ER. So, it would seem that he has pheumonia and a lot of fluid on his lungs. We will be here at least tomorrow when his cardiologist will decide whether it is safe for him to go home.

So, here is my next entry from my journal:
March 1, 08….9:40 P.M.
Oklahoma Heart Hospital Day 6
O LORD God, where would I be without You. I cannot imagine. You are my Strength, my Tower, my Refuge, my Fortress, my strong Deliverer, my Peace, my Protector, my Provider, my Savior, my Friend!! My heart rejoices in You, LORD, for You are my strong shelter in times of stress. You have been the place where I have always run to as my hiding place, even from the time of my childhood!! I pray that You will be that for our children and grandchildren. I praise You for Your love and wisdom. You are too wise to ever make a mistake and too loving to ever do anything unkind. And so, tonight (which is now 10:30), after the events of the day and all that You are doing in our lives, I praise You……..I trust You…….. I wait upon You.

I need to journal the events of this day so I will not forget all Your benefits. After getting a full night’s sleep at home alone, I came up here about 8:15 and found Monty sitting up in bed and looking so well. He had just eaten a good breakfast and was saying to Kaylyn that it is so amazing that he could feel 100% after having had such a heart attack and all of the other things that had happened to him this week. He was waiting to get a shower and for the dr on call for Dr Kerns (Dr Ghanni) to come and dismiss him. We got him into the shower, which he did by himself. Then Monty sat up in the chair. After about 15 minutes, after his nurse had hooked him back up on his monitors and walked out of the room, Monty said he thought it was hot and wanted to go out for a walk and cool off. His cardiac rehab nurse was here to take him for a walk. We turned the air down. Then he said he was feeling nauseous. He said it was because of the nurse's perfume…….well, she didn’t have any perfume on!!!! Kaylyn has a really good sense of smell and she didn’t notice any perfume.

So then the color began to leave his face and we quickly helped him back in bed and I called for the nurse. She came in, turned around and called to page Dr. Ghani. She came back in and had others come to help her, got an ECG started, started him on some nitro. He began sweating profusely once again, drenching the bed, etc and was completely pale. The ECG showed he was having another heart attack right then. Within 15 minutes Dr Ghanni was here and they were prepping Monty to go back down to the cath lab to see what was causing the heart attack.

Philip, Nick and Gwyneth were on a Team Young Life bike ride out on sod farm, NE OKC, which is a 32 mile ride. And Christina was running in a 10K race. As this started happening, I received two phone calls from people who would pray. I said “Pray” and hung up. Rachel called and I stepped out of the room while they were working on Monty. When asked about the pain/pressure on his chest, he said it was worse than the time at home. I told Rachel another episode was happening. She hung up and called Nick and said she would be here as soon as she could get the children take care of. From that time of getting him into bed, it was a whirlwind. Joy, our hurse, was incredible in taking care of everything. Within an hour he was back down in the cath lab. Sovereignty.

Dr. Mark Bodenhamer, good friend of Philip's who is a renown cardiac, thoracic, heart surgeon who had been such a huge help to us, had come up and was going over everything and telling us all that was going on. Monty was having another heart attack in that same place and Dr Ghanni was a great interventionist and would go back in the brachial artery (in the arm) and look to see if the LAD had occluded above or below the stent.

Rachel arrived just as they took him down. Dr Ghanni had told us before they took him down that he was not sure what he would find when he went in there. And then he gave us the same warning of what could happen, which included death. Kaylyn and I had seen the whole thing and knew that he was in serious trouble. We went back downstairs again to the waiting room with our fourth pager now. This time felt really scary in that he was in such bad shape when they took him and he was in the middle of having the attack. The bikers were as far away from the cars as possible and it would take them an hour to ride back to the cars, and then drive all the way over here. Christina was on a 10K race and was on her way here when she finished.

While we were in the waiting room, Rachel asked me if I had cried yet. She said that she had not seen me cry and just wondered if I had done it in private. But, LORD, I know that my times………Monty’s times are in Your hands…………..and I trust You with that with all my heart. I say with the Psalmist that I do not fear bad news, nor live in dread of what may happen for I am settled in my mind that You, Jehovah, will take care of me and him. "What time I am afraid I will put my trust in You" is what I have said since I was a little girl. Now I am living that. And I assured Rachel that I do cry sometimes and that I have real emotions. About that time, a close friend (waiting with us) got up and said he had to leave, but would come back. I stood up to hug him and when I did he burst into tears, into sobs, and so did I. I told him that this has to be so hard for him because Monty is like a Father to him……….and sobbing, he said, “More than that”!! It broke my heart for him. I have asked You to use all of this in any way that would bring You glory. But here we were in the midst of this tragic time, and it was like You just turned on the faucet of my eyes to show Rachel that I can cry. It really was kind of funny, the timing of it all. You have a great sense of timing!!!

After about an hour, Dr Ghani met with us to say that the same artery had completely occluded with blood clots. He was able to suction them out as best he could, but that the part of the heart that artery feeds the blood, may be dead and not demanding the blood. Thus the blood that is there just pools. The next 48-72 hours will be critical. Philip, Christina, Nick and Gwyneth got there just as he was beginning to brief us………….Your timing once again. Sovereignty. You brought them safely back on the last half of their ride and to the hospital. What we were hearing was so much to process. Mark came in shortly after Dr. Ghanni had started and pretty much repeated it all and then some. The options are nil right now and it is up to God and Monty to work this out. Mark said to keep our fingers crossed and with some good luck, he will be fine. (That did not work for me since I know You!)

Tomorrow they will do an echocardiogram to see how much of the heart is dead and not functioning to have a better idea of what the next step might be. His kidneys seem to be doing better handling the dyes and will be flushed again. It was all kind of a blur. It was a shock to all of us. I have known for a long time that You were about to do something…………and Monty and I had even talked and prayed about such things. We are more than happy to be Your agents of reconciliation and to share the goodness and peace of Your forgiveness. Your forgiveness is more real to us when we are ministers of that forgiveness to others. So, I say again, use us for Your glory alone.

Joy told me tonight before she went off shift, as she gave me a big hug, that she loved our family and was so impressed with us and our love for each other that was obvious. I told her that if she would be a woman of the Word and let You rule in her life as she trained their children, that this could be her family 30 years from now. She was a believer and full of Your joy and peace. We loved her and I ask You to use this in her life for years to come. She was such a blessing to us today!!!!!

Through the Valley of the Shadow #3

2008-03-15T14:18:00.000-07:00

More excerpts from my prayer journal:

One of the wonderful nurses who had taken care of Monty, told us before she was leaving for the night that she would not be back and that she wanted us to know that we were a blessed family. She said she could not tell us before, but that the stents were put into the artery called the “widow maker” because most of those who have blockage there don’t make it!!! It is the largest and most important artery in the heart…………the Left Anterior Descending Artery!!! The first thing that came to my mind was the verse You gave us on Monday in my One Year………….Psa 27:14 “Wait on the LORD. Be of good courage. He will strengthen your heart. I say, wait on the LORD!!!!!” Praise Your name. You are worthy of our trust and praise. You have strengthened his heart, in more ways than one!!! Sovereignty. We did not go home today as they had thought!!! You are still using all of this for Your glory!! I pray for that nurse to see You in us.

What a great day of rejoicing Wednesday was……………until that night when I was here alone with Monty!! At 10:00 p.m., he suddenly groaned…….when I was writing in this journal. As I got up to check on him, the alarm on his monitor began going off loudly and people started rushing in……..his new nurse, a wonderful man and several others. His heart rate had suddenly jumped to 160 and he began complaining of his chest pressure. He was sweating profusely. When asked how much pressure he said a 4. It was horrible to watch him suffering so. After about 5 hours of trying different medicines and amounts (3 A.M.), it finally went from Atrial Fib to sinus, which is the normal rhythm and remained in the right rhythm the rest of the day. But then, about 4:30 P.M., he began to have pain in his left shoulder and when asked this time, he said it was a 5, which was the highest so far. They gave him Nitro, some pain medicine, & took an EKG (or as I heard recently an ECG), which showed no attack, but was still called heart pain or angina. They got that calmed down. Thank You for competent people who are your instruments for Your Sovereign plan.

When the nurse change over occurred at 7:00 P.M., the new nurse was standing by him to do his evaluation and noticed his rate suddenly jump to 166 and then boom………he was back into Atrial Fib and it was staying so high and bounced back and forth. But this time, he showed no reaction to it. His body was tolerating it………… without the sweats, chest pain or anything else. In fact, we were rather amazed that he was not having any signs of stress. If we had been home, I would not have known. Thank You that You still have us here......sovereignty. The new nurse, another guy was really indoctrinated quickly into the Churchill saga You were creating. This time he stayed really high in A fib.

Thank You so much for the way You are using all of this in so many lives, healing relationships, creating open conversations that needed to happen. I have thought about a great verse in Eccl............"Better to go to a house of mourning than a house of feasting, for that is the end of all men, and the living will take it to heart".....7:2, I think. For the many people who are being affected by all of this, not that it is a house of mourning, for sure, but it is a time for the living to reflect. I pray that it will go well with their discussions and following up in communicating their love for each other.

I know that You are answering prayers that Monty and I prayed so long ago.

Finally, after several hours they still were not able to get him out of Atrial Fib, but they did get the beat lowered to a more tolerable rate, that being under 100. He was still in A Fib all day today. Dr Kerns was concerned that possibly his artery to his kidney was causing the whole issue of the high blood pressure, by constriction in it and that the hormone secreted by the kidney to protect it was able to be changed. So an ultrasound of his kidneys was done today, but they all seemed to be normal. SO, it would mean that Monty is left to take the medicine that has higher risk of side effects that Dr. Kerns does not want him to have to take. But the safer ones were not working. And the other thing he doesn’t want to do is put him on Coumadin since he is already on another blood medication, Plavix, after having a heart attack.

How great it is to have that quiet confidence that You are in complete control.....of kidneys, of blood clots, of heart rhythms!!! We are fearfully and wonderfully made!! You are a great Creator and Sustainer of life. In you we live and move and have our being!!

O Father God, how great You are and greatly to be praised. You are so worthy of all praise and worship. Today at 5:00 P.M., the medicine worked and he converted back to sinus rhythm. He all of a sudden perked up and is doing so much better. We all shouted with joy because we knew he had turned a corner. It meant that he might be able to go home this week-end after all. How good You are!! It is good to see Monty’s smile back and his warm personality.

Another one of the ways I have seen You provide Your grace to me has been through the many calls, emails and visits of Your messengers who love us. I am asking You to bless them and richly reward them as only You can for their acts of kindness to us.

Once again, I want to leave you on the same positive note we were all experiencing at the end of Day 5, Friday.

Through the Valley of the Shadow #2

2008-03-13T21:18:00.000-07:00

Now these will be some excerpts from my prayer journal:

Within 45-50 minutes from the time we had walked into the ER, they had changed the cath lab schedule ….moving someone back who was not an emergency…and had him in there doing a procedure on him. That was the next sign of His sovereignty.

As the word got out through the church rapidly, friends started showing up immediately. O LORD, what peace You were giving to me. Thank You. And from that moment when I knew You were telling me to bring him here to the heart hospital, I lived in the grace of Your sovereignty. We were all praying that You would guide Dr Kerns and help him to do whatever needed to be done. He came out pretty quickly to tell us that he could not get into the whole heart because there were some blood clots that prevented him from looking down vessels and arteries to see where the damage was. He was disappointed, but had left the sheath in his leg artery to try it again the next day after getting him on blood thinners to try to dissolve the clots. And since the creatinine serum in his kidney was elevated, he wanted to flush out the dye from it as much as possible because he was a candidate for kidney failure. And in order to feel safe to go into the artery again the next day and inject more dye, he was concerned that the kidney needed to be at a lower level of the serum.

So the next prayer was for the clots to dissolve and the serum level to decrease. The next morning they took him again for another angiogram to put the stents into the arteries Dr Kerns knew needed them. He came back out to us pretty quickly and told us that he could not even get the scope to the heart this time because his artery was so twisted with a 360 degree revolution. He was not sure if he couldn’t get through because the sheath had perforated the artery, or that it was just so kinked that he could not get it straightened with the instrument to go in and look to see if the clots had dissolved. He was disappointed and was now more concerned about the kidneys, because he was going to have to have dye twice in two days. Only this time it was to take a CT scan to see why he couldn’t get through and to see if the left leg was as twisted an artery as the right. So, by now Monty had to lay flat on his back with his right leg perfectly straight for 36 hours. Two nights now had been miserable with no sleep. He was so uncomfortable……..and they still had not been able to do anything for his heart attack damage.

Well, more and more people were contacting us, praying, coming by and calling or emailing. IT was such a blessing to be able to tell them that I was living in the reality of Your sovereignty and that I truly was fine through it all. I know that You are my sufficiency and adequacy. I love You, LORD.

They finally were able to come in and take out the sheath from the femoral artery, which was excruciatingly painful for Monty. He has already endured so much.

Kaylyn and Gwyneth arrived from Denver around 7:30 P.M. It is good to have them here with us. Gwyneth wanted to stay the night with him so I could go home and get some sleep, after being up for two nights in a row.

On Wednesday morning, Monty was sitting up in bed. It was such a pleasant surprise. He was getting tired and wanted to lie back down in bed. The nurse had said that she thought their plan was to get him on the right blood thinners, and the right blood pressure medicine and get his kidneys safe again by flushing him with fluids….. since he had the dye the second time for the CT scan………which had shown that they could not go through the left femoral artery either because his just happened to be made that way…………..kinky and twisted. So the only other way was to try the brachial artery in the arm which is much smaller and a little more difficult. But they would wait and have us go home on the meds and then come back in a week.

Once again, that was their plan and not Yours. Already we had asked that they would be able to get into the heart the first time. You said “No!” and I believe that was from You and for Your glory and purposes. You needed more time to do what You wanted to do with this whole situation. They tried the 2^nd time and again, You said “No!” And this 3rd time, they had their plans, to send us home for a week..... .and You said “No!” Which I am so glad that You are in control!!! All of a sudden Monty began feeling pain in his chest and was once again saying he was “uncomfortable”. This time when they asked him how bad, he was he said that it was about a 3 in pressure.

At that very time, You had it such that Dr Kerns was walking onto the floor to come and check on Monty. They immediately began doing the EKG and other tests. When Dr Kerns saw that there was no significant change in his EKG, or blood stats, he said that he sees nothing happening that says he is having another attack, but that he cannot ignore the pain in his chest. He prepared us very frankly that he did not know if he would be able to get into the heart with the scope and stents because.... first, he didn’t know if those veins were kinky. He didn’t know if the clots had dissolved and he didn’t know if he would have to cut him open and do an emergency by pass, or if he would die!! He just said it that plainly…………he just didn’t know what he would find, but he did know that he could not ignore that he was having pressure.

He was going to check to see how crowded their schedule was in the cath lab and get him scheduled as soon as possible. It was about 9:25 Wednesday morning. He came right back in and said that they had him scheduled for 11:00 a.m., but that he wanted it done sooner than that. Not even 5 minutes had gone by when a tech came in to prep him for his procedure that was going to be at 10:15!!! Only 45 minutes from then and a total of one hour from when he had that first mention of chest pressure. Once again, LORD, You were sovereign over the whole thing. But this time, we said our good-byes to him……….Rachel, Nick, Kaylyn, Gwyneth and I. (Philip, Christina and the girls are skiing in CO with Gwyneth's four children and Erik!!). It was an emotional time because we really did not know what we were facing for sure…………………..but YOU DID!!! {NOTE: Something weird happened with the font here and I can't seem to fix it!! Sorry!! Too late}

By 10:45 the pager went off that Dr Kerns was ready to meet with us……….Kelley joined us to take notes once again and be our secretary on the details. The first words out of Dr. Kerns’ mouth were “The LORD was with me!” He was able to get straight into the heart, the bigger clots had dissolved, he was able to put in the two stents in the LAD artery and clean up most everything. It could not have gone better. Praise You, LORD!!! That was in answer to the many prayers of many righteous people whom You dearly love and who dearly love You!!! Thank You for such great news. What a glorious celebration!

(This is a good place for me to say Good Night!!. I don't know what time this blog says, but my clock is saying 12:27 a.m. More later!!!)

Through The Valley of the Shadow

2008-03-11T19:38:00.000-07:00

Since it has been a while since I have blogged I am quite certain this will take more than one post. The LORD has begun taking Monty and me on an interesting journey.

Over the past year or so, we both have felt that God was leading us into a different direction for ministry, but we just were waiting upon Him to give us the specifics. To give you a bit of background...... we have been working with college aged and post college young adults for the past 15 years, teaching Sunday School & home Bible studies. For 20 years before that we were high school sponsors/Sunday School teachers, etc. Now that we are in our 60's, we have wondered if the LORD were taking us in a different direction. Both of us have been open to the possibility of a change and have even discussed that maybe we should go to early childhood and give the parents of the young children a break. God has already made a couple of changes in my personal teaching ministry this past year. We have been anticipating some sort of change in our lives.

SO with that said, I want to begin sharing the events of the past month. Monty had been having some physical problems for the past year or so. The first of February we had just begun getting some directions from doctors for possible diagnosis. One of the things that showed up was high blood pressure, for which he began taking medicine. About this same time, both of us got the virus/bacteria, etc. that was spreading in OKC in epidemic proportions. It took more than two weeks for us to begin to feel anything close to well.

Meanwhile, I had been asking the LORD to show me what to do and where to go to find help for Monty and his health problems. Then on Sunday night,Feb 27, we had been to church and stopped for something to eat. Monty only wanted a bowl of soup, which was a little unusual, but I thought he might be getting the "bug" back. The whole night, neither of us slept. He just tossed and turned, got up and wandered through the house. About 4 in the morning, as we were lying in bed, he said he was "uncomfortable". When I asked him if he hurt anywhere, sort of expecting him to describe flu-like symptoms again, he said he had "pressure". I asked him where his pressure was and he asked me if I would rub his neck and shoulders. I knew that he had a really important luncheon meeting the next day, and assumed he was uptight about it.

Now I want to take you into my spiritual journey!! While we were awake most of that night, I got up and wrote in my journal, asking the LORD to just show me what to do with Monty and the various symptoms he was having, not just that night, but for the past 14-16 months. I asked Him if I should seek natural pathology as an alternative, trying to find other things to help him. I told Him I would do whatever He showed me, but I just needed Him to show me. And as I lay there next to Monty, I just kept praying for wisdom and guidance

The next morning he got up and dressed to meet a young man he has been mentoring the past several months. So I figured he felt better since he didn't say anything about not feeling well. I went to my 8:15 appointment and asked the dr. whom he suggested for a homeopathic directions for Monty's high blood pressure we had just discovered. I drove straight to that place, but it was a dead end, in that there was no one there at that time who could help me. I was to call back at 9:00. Then right after that Monty called me and said he wanted me to take him to the Heart Hospital ER. His answer to my question as to why, was that at breakfast he was nauseous and both of his arms were numb. I hung up the phone and immediately thanked the LORD, saying "Now that is what I am talking about. I can understand that and do somethng that clear!!!"

That began the spiritual clarity of God's sovereign grace over the whole trial He had for us. The next came in the ER. I had on my list for that day to call for an appointment for Monty with Dr. Chris Kerns, the cardiologist who had taken care of Mother, knowing it could be 3-6 months for a new patient appointment. But when they asked me in the ER who his cardiologist was, I, of course, said Dr. Kerns. They asked Monty why he was seeing Dr. Kerns, to which Monty replied that he had never met him. Long story short, Dr. Kerns was in that ER cubicle within 30 minutes after we arrived (much to the surprise of the ER personnel)!! They told us "he was not the cardiologist on call".....to which I thought......he is on God's call!!! He is a godly man who took us, I believe, because God had called him to respond to our request!! (so much for the 3-6 months for an appointment!!) Soveriengty. It was a total shock to both of us when he told us that according to the EKG, Monty had had a major heart attack last night!! We had no idea!!

About an hour later when Dr. Kerns came to talk to us after the angiogram, he made the comment again that if I had brought him in when he was having the heart attack the night before, it would have been better because they could have gotten into the heart before it was all clotted, as it was this morning. Another sovereignty thing.....God did not tell me to take him in..........or that he was having a heart attack. Monty had no "typical symptoms" like you always hear. God chose to keep us in the dark about his heart attack because He had something much bigger in mind and it would not happen if we were in and out of the hospital in short order!!!

Over and over, I have believed and taught.........."Learn in the light what you will need to live in the dark!!" Now I was living the truth I have spent a lifetime learning from the WORD. In my next post, I want to share parts of my journal from our 11 days in the hospital and ways I saw God's hand in all of this.

But first, I want to leave you with a verse that was in my Bible reading for that day. Psa 24:17 "Wait on the LORD. Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, upon the LORD."
One note: often in the OT, wait is used as "trust in"!! It is active faith. We live by faith in the Son of God Who loved us and gave Himself up for us!!!

Encrusted Sin

2008-02-22T14:14:00.001-08:00

Recently, I had made a huge pot of Black Bean Chicken Chili (a family favorite) for some friends. I had not watched it carefully enough after having added the sharp cheddar cheese, and thus was left with a bit of a messy pan to clean. You know how it is with some pots where it cooked onto the bottom a bit more than you would have wanted, knowing it would take great effort to get it back to its original shape!!!?? Spic and Span clean??? Well, this was one of those times.

And while I was leaning over the sink, scrubbing for longer than I wanted or intended, God began to speak to me in that still small voice about my sin. It was not in an accusatory nor condemning voice.......the enemy of our souls does that.........not my Redeemer and Friend. But, He reminded me of how stubborn some of my sins are that have some residue left in the "bottom" of my life. It takes some real work to loosen the dirt of them. It is those ones that others may not notice so much, but I know that they are there..........selfishness, irritations, rationalizations, procrastinations, and even wastefulness. "The little foxes that spoil the vine", hindering true spiritual growth where there otherwise would be if those stubborn spots were gone.

So, I agreed with the LORD, about my dirty heart and proceeded to go about the business of being washed clean by the water of the Word and the blood of Jesus that cleanses me from ALL sin. I love that He doesn't overlook the stuff that is "stuck and harder to get off", but patiently speaks to me at my kitchen sink, or wherever it is that I am in need of some "pot scrubbing"!

The 5 P's

2008-02-04T10:42:00.000-08:00

Practicing the 5 P's has become such a pattern of life for me that I hardly know that I am doing it! What does that mean, you might say? "Practice the 5 P's"???? I will need to back-up about 16 years or so. I really am not sure of the time, but a good friend, who was also one of my prayer partners, shared what she had learned at a retreat in eastern Texas that had changed her life. It was the 4 P's of Philippians 4:6-8: Pray, Praise, Positive Thoughts, Peace.

At the time of this retreat, she was an oncology nurse who had just followed the written orders for the chemo for one of their cancer patients........which, after she had just finished it, the doctor came in and said not to give "Betty" such and such chemo!!! My friend, Esther, responded with the news that she had just completed that round. The doctor proceeded to tell her that "Betty" was not to have that chemo (as prescribed in the orders) and that she will certainly die now because of it.

Long story short, Esther and her husband left town that afternoon for the retreat and all that was on her heart was the terror that she might have killed "Betty". She really did not want to be at the retreat, or for that matter be anywhere, because of the fear and guilt she was experiencing. BUT, the Sovereign LORD God of heaven and earth had her at that retreat for the 4 P's!!!! They became her constant companion and pattern for life and all tragedies, small and great. Not only, did that incomprehensible peace guard her heart and mind that week-end while she was so fearful of what might happen to "Betty" (who, by the way, did fine and lived long after that had happened), but has continued to be her experience ever since.

As Esther shared what she had learned that week-end with many of us who have been privileged to have her in our lives, we have learned, also, that practicing the 4 P's makes them really 5. Some time after that retreat, long after she had been sharing them as 4 P's, she ran into the speaker again and told him how they had blessed her life so much. He proceeded to tell her that there really are 5.............and that she had been doing the 5th one...."Practice".

Also, along the way, the format change a wee bit from Praying first to Praising first - giving God thanks in everything and for everything before anything else-- then praying with all prayers and requests. And then choosing to dwell on the positive thoughts listed in that passage: "whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and worthy of praise -- will access for us the kind of peace that is incomprehensible in the midst of terrible crises. And then, verse 9 tells us to keep putting it into practice.

My testimony is this: it is a true and faithful saying - "If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than than the human mind can understand. HIS PEACE will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." (NLT) I have seen this through the years, not only in my own life experience, but in the life of every believer who lives this way.

I have lived through the many stages of life which have afforded me the privilege of practicing these truths in a variety of circumstances: 4 teen agers at once, 4 strong-willed children at once, disappointing choices of children, consequences of disappointing choices of children, failing health of family and friends, scary news from doctors for our first grandchild in the womb, her surgery at 9 months, caring for our elderly parents and eventually burying all four of them, shocking news of death of a loved one who seemed to be "too young".....to name a few!!!

"If you're just beginning to praise and worship, you're on the threshold of a great adventure. You'll find that your gracious, mighty and majestic God is delightful beyond imagining. You'll discover what a high privilege it is to praise Him! And whether or not, you're a beginner, the more you honor the LORD with your praise, the more He will refresh you and deepen your experience of Him." 31 Days of Praise by Ruth Myers

Okay, friends!! I emailed this to my friend Esther to see if it would be agreeable with her to post it. And I have to give you her response to me. ......." just went on line, having not been on yesterday, and got your wonderful blog about the 5P’s! I feel humbled and honored that you would want to share that part of my story. Of course you can use my name! I’m so glad that you stressed that part about praising God because I, too, believe that is the real secret to the power of the P’s! I will never forget one day when I was having a grief attack and I started just really praising God for it. Within a very few minutes I went from feeling despair and tears flowing, to a huge smile on my face and real peace and joy in my heart! I asked Him, “Dear Lord, how do you do that, taking me from despair one minute to pure joy the next? I heard Him say in my mind and heart,” It is because I inhabit the praises of My children. I remember thinking, Wow, Lord, I never really knew that’s what You meant in that verse! His presence is so powerfully felt inside us when we praise Him! I still use 31 Days of Praise too! What a blessing that book has been in my life and I still give it to any young women I am mentoring, Well, my dear Carolyn, I’m sure you did not need all that, but it is just fun to visit with you! Have a wonderful day! Love, Esther"

So, this is what it all looks like, the practice of praising the LORD..........a real 2008 live example of how to live in the Presence of the LORD. He inhabits our praises!! Go for it!!!

Perspective

2008-01-14T13:46:00.001-08:00

What is it in your life that brings things into proper perspective for you? Is it reading the obituaries from time to time to remind you how fleeting life is and of that one true statistic that never changes: "one out of one dies"!!!???

Is it going to a funeral or going to a cemetery and seeing the "-" between the year born and the year died, knowing that all of life is summed up in one little hash mark on a grave stone?

Is it a visit to a doctor with a friend/family member who just learned that she has an incurable disease?

Is it watching your child walk down the aisle on his/her wedding day when it only seems like yesterday when you were coming home from the hospital with that newborn in your arms?

Or, maybe it is reading a really good book, like The Shack, about which I wrote a whole post a while back, that makes sense out of seeming nonsense.

For me, it is a combination of all of the above. Or, actually, more often than not, it is spending time in the Word and in prayer with my LORD that brings my life into focus and my perspective into an eternal one.

Last night Monty and I went to dinner, just the two of us..........the first time we have not had children/grandchildren since Dec 21........where we conversed about our lives and what really matters ..................PERSPECTIVE!!!! A friend at church passed away early Saturday morning after a year long battle with pancreatic cancer. He was only 50 years old and leaves behind his wife of almost 24 years and three children: 19, 17 and 12 years of age, plus a mother who buried his father 38 years ago. That kind of sobering news should lead us to discussions about perspective.

I just spent 9 days in Louisville with the 19th grandbaby who was born Dec 18. See the added photo on Joshua Luke Groves, 5th child of Lanny and Stacey. Holding a precious newborn baby brings perspective to life, especially when there are four others running around who were the newborns only a few short years ago.................and in only a few more years will be the ones walking down an wedding aisle (possibly)!!!

Soooooooo, back to my conversation with my husband of 41 wonderful years of marriage........... we agreed that we wanted to stay in the race and finish well, so that all who come behind us will find us faithful (sounds like it could be a song, huh???) We have been involved in youth ministry for over 20 years, and more recently college/young adult ministry for the past 15, or so, years. And we are asking each other and the LORD........what next? There seems to be a great need in early childhood in our church, which we have not done together outside of our own children and grandchildren!! Is that where we need to get a new perspective?? It would probably lead to having input in young parents...............so we will see what the LORD's perspective is with that.

New Life

2008-01-03T19:05:00.000-08:00

For the past several days, I have been in Louisville, KY with my "inherited" Groves family and their newest addition to my (now 19) precious grandchildren, Joshua Luke, who was born December 18th, making their quiver full with five. Is there anything more precious than a newborn baby? Not to me!!! He is such a beautiful baby and so sweet. I love to watch his reflexes, his facial expressions, his stretches while he grunts and gurgles. Newborns are so helpless and so utterly dependent upon their Mamas.

Of course, when I see Stacey feeding him every three hours around the clock, I am reminded of 1 Peter 2:2 "as newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the Word so that by it you may grow..."!! And growing he is!! Just in the 7 days I have been here, he has already grown so much. I can't help but think how much we would grow if we were hungering and thirsting and taking in the Word every 3 hours 24/7!!! What would our "spiritual cheeks" look like if they were chubby with the sincere milk of the Word?

Would we not be filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control??? instead of being filled with the deeds of the flesh like immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts on anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these???

When Josh burps/spits up.........it is milk. It is what he has taken in!! What comes out of my mouth...........so to speak? Is it the Word that comes back up?? I hope so!!

O, for sure, there is much to be learned from newborn babies!! How thankful I am to have had this blessed time of reminders of the basics!!!

The Inventories

2008-01-03T18:54:00.000-08:00

The inventory listed immediately below is the one I try to which I actually type out my answers and keep in my journal. Another one by Henry Blackaby is one I will read through and pray about, but I don't ususally write answers down. It is also listed below.

Personal Inventory for January of each year!!

Who were the most stimulating people in my life (and why)?

What was my most meaningful spiritual experience?

What were my most significant family moments?

What was the biggest contributor to my personal growth?

What was the biggest blunder I committed?

What caused my greatest sadness?

What was my greatest joy?

What was my best marriage moment this year?

What is my fondest memory with each of my children?

What friend moment will I cherish the most?

For what am I most thankful this year?

What one answer to prayer really blew me away?

This one is Blackaby's
Did you take time to carefully and thoroughly inventory not only the events of the past year, but also how you lived your life through those events??

Mediate on the following questions:

Did I gain a heart of wisdom as I passed through this last year?

Am I a better person?

Am I a wiser person?

What consequences have resulted in my life, and the lives of others, from the decisions I made?

Did I learn through tragedy?

Did I invest in the lives of others?

Was I a good steward of what came to me this past year?

What happened in my family this past year?

Have I gained greater maturity toward Christlikeness?

Did I gain a greater knowledge of God through the Scriptures?

Did my prayer life grow deeper with God?

Did I clearly help my church?

Did I become more effective as a Christian in my workplace?

Am I walking more confidently in God’s will for my life?

Have I positioned myself to even greater heights for the coming year?

If you answered “no” or “I am not sure” to any of these questions, then you need to ask yourself, “Why?”
Why did this past year not measure up to God’s desired will for my life?
Why did I not seek God with all my heart?
Why did I not grow as a Christian?
Was I self-centered instead of God centered?
Are there sinful habits that need to be removed from my life?
If so, ask God to do so.

Will you allow God to move you from where you are now to where He wants you to be in the coming year?

From Henry Blackaby’s “Measuring the worth of a year”

Spitirual Inventory for 2007

2007-12-31T19:12:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, I came across a couple of spiritual inventories to take in the New Year regarding my spiritual growth in the past year. I have been trying to do that since then and, for some reason, I sat down to do that tonight rather than after the 1st. I just was struck by how hard I had to think to come up with some of the answers. This is such a good exercise for me and it made me realize that I must go through much of my life without really engaging myself enough in the activity of the moment to allow a lasting impression. How shallow is that???

I think when I encounter deeply moving experiences with my husband, children and their spouses, and my nineteen grandchildren, I need to allow myself the privilege of savoring!!! I have come to the conclusion that I am too much of a "taster" and not enough of a "savorer"! Life is meant to be enjoyed, says the Preacher in Eccleasiastes. And I am convinced that enjoyment takes time and thought and engagement!!!

So, with that thought, my goal for this new year is to engage myself more purposefully with each encounter with the people God puts in my path, especially those He uses to spiritually impact my life for His glory.

I pray that you have a spiritually prosperous New Year in 2008! If you are interested in these inventoreis, let me know and I can email them to you!! Or, maybe I can get my daughter to help me put them in a link on this post????!!!!

Communication

2007-12-17T10:00:00.000-08:00

Can we realize how dependent we are on things before they are removed from us? Probably, to some extent...........some things. But what I have learned is that not having a home phone is really not that big of a deal for me these days. As I mentioned before, the telemarketers can't reach me (still) and maybe with the constant recording they get from my phone provider, they will even remove me now from their lists. I think we are going on our 6th day now without our home phone and I have no idea who has been trying to get a hold of us............outside our close family who have our cell phone numbers.

But, one thing I have thought about this week, is how bound to communication we really are. God is a communicating God and He has given us that same characteristic........one of the ways we are created in His image. Relationships are sustained by communication. And the more accessible one is to our communication, the easier it is to strengthen the relationship.

LONG PAUSE HERE>>>>>>>>>>>, like 30 hours or so!! Funny thing!! As I was trying to "communicate" my thoughts here, I lost my cable connection which took away my internet and television. ...still residual effects from the power outage. It was like God was trying to reinforce my point............one must have connectivity to communicate and thus properly relate to others. I just smiled and thought once again about Jer 33:3 - God's phone number.........."Call upon Me and I will show you great and mighty things." He is always available to us who are properly "connected" to Him through the perfect sacrifice of God the Son, Whose miraculous connection to humanity we celebrate in this glorious season.

I am now back online, with telephone service and I am sure the whole world at my fingertips on the television, which I have not yet checked. One thing, for certain, is that I will make every effort to "stay in touch" with those who are important to me!!! Especially Jesus!!!

The Deceitfulness of Beauty

2007-12-13T21:08:00.000-08:00

How can something so beautiful be so deceptive?
When we just experienced our worst ice storm in history here in OKC (or so they are saying) this past week, that question kept coming to my mind. The beauty of the icicles hanging so brilliantly on everything had an almost "Narnia" beauty about it as you looked out at the trees, the roof lines, the patio furniture, the ice covered grass, and even the slick roads. There was something so captivating in the picturesque scenes throughout the city. So, you ask, what is the deception?

It is kind of like the verse in Proverbs about the virtuous woman......31:30 "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain" (or in the NLT...."beauty does not last")!! The superficial look does not say it all...........in women or in icicles!! Both can be very devastating if the "beauty is on too thick"!! In the case of the ice, the destructive effects are still with us. We still do not have the use of our home phone (which I must admit is not all bad!!) Our phone has not been this silent in years!! But.........where would we be without cell phones?? The only ones who really can't reach us are the telemarketers!!

The first day of the storm (Monday) there were over 600,000 homes without power. After about 24-36 hours, that number had decreased to around 400,000. Now, I believe it is about 100,000, and some of those are looking at 30 days before it is restored. That is just an example of the deceitfulness of the "beauty".

If you want to see some visuals of what I am saying, check out some photos from a local source here. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.

And as far as the woman........the rest of that verse says "but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised." That is real beauty..........with no deception!!!

The SOON return of the LORD??

2007-12-09T14:46:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since the urge to blog has come upon me...............well, that is not quite true. The urge to do it came the other day, but the time did not. Busy week!!!! But, just this afternoon when I read the article I will add to this, the urge came upon me once again.

The time of the LORD'S return must be soon! I was reading the signs of the end times in 2 Timothy 3:1-5 You should also know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. 2 For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. 3 They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control; they will be cruel and have no interest in what is good. 4 They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. 5 They will act as if they are religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. You must stay away from people like that. NLT

I know that in my six decades of living, it was not always this way. I can well remember the days of my childhood when we left our cars and houses unlocked all of the time. There was not the love of pleasure more than the love of God, even on a national scale. People made covenants with each other with a handshake............and kept them. Marriage was sacred. Courtesy was common. Loyalty was the norm. As children, we would walk everywhere in the neighborhoods by ourselves, no adults, and played for hours together. I would walk to the grocery store and charge the food Mom sent me to get on a ticket that she would come by and pay later, the next time she was in for more groceries. That was less than 50 years ago.

Those of you who are in your 30's, do you not remember that you could play outside, in the front yard..............or even walk a few blocks or even several blocks to your friend's house to play? Would you let your child do that now?

With the shooting today of the young people at the Youth With a Mission training center, I have been saddened by such fear that comes to parents who are training their children to love Jesus and be willing to serve Him wherever and whatever the cost, even in their own schools, malls, or spiritual life training centers. It was not unusual to expect tragedy if they were called to Papua New Guinea or the jungles of Columbia, but Arvada, CO????

I remembered the contrasts between the deeds of the flesh and of the Spirit that God inspired Paul to write in the letter to the Galatians. 5:19-23 19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, your lives will produce these evil results: sexual immorality, impure thoughts, eagerness for lustful pleasure, 20 idolatry, participation in demonic activities, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, divisions, the feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own little group, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other kinds of sin. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. 22 But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law. NLT

Participation in demonic activities is what came to my mind when thinking about the recent shootings, and the article I read (click on article for the link). I looked up the Greek word for that again, sometimes translated "witchcraft", and found that it was Pharmakeía, which means the occult, sorcery, witchcraft, illicit pharmaceuticals,(from The Complete Word Study Dictionary: New Testament © 1992 by AMG International, Inc. Revised Edition, 1993) Does that word look familiar to one of our English words?? "Pharmacy" Drugs. I won't bore you with all that I studied about this word, but I found it to be enlightening in the other passages where it is used, like in Revelation 9:21 & 18:23.

I know that "witchcraft" is not a new idea, nor a unique "sign of the times", but the frequency of drug usage is certainly on the rise and, as you can read in the article, the effects are lethal. I am just wondering how will it all end? I seen no way other than the soon return of our LORD. Even so, come quickly, LORD Jesus!!! Amen

Death and Dying

2007-11-29T08:38:00.000-08:00

Now, how is that for an eye-catching, appealing title!! Not so much, huh? But that is where I was all day yesterday with a friend whose mother is in critical condition.

What yesterday did for me was to take me back a few months to the whole dying process of my mother I experienced. I don't know if that happens to all families, but I am seeing a deja vu sort of happening with me. What I observed was the damage of expectations. When a loved one is in the dying process several things happen among family members, not the least of which are expectations. Some are perceived and others are real. But in either case, expectations are imprisoning.

Expectations: I need to be sitting up there every minute......just in case. My family will think I don't care if I go ahead and go to CO to take care of my grandchildren as promised. I haven't been there to visit her often enough. I need to call so and so. I shouldn't be so vulnerable and say how I am really feeling about all of this. ............and the list goes on and on.

When I was having to make a hard decision about going out of town when Mother was so gravely ill, I asked one of the doctors what he thought about it. He said, "Go! You have to keep living with the living and do what God has called you to do. No man knows if she will die in 1 hour, 1 day, 1 month, but most likely not in 1 year. So, Go." Then he reminded me of what Jesus said to a 'would-be' follower of His. Let the dead bury the dead!! That was such wise counsel. I have been able to share that with others who are caring for their elderly parents. (I do not mean to imply that my other siblings, etc. were the dead and were to bury her, but I took from that the wisdom to follow what God was telling me to do, which was minister to the living who needed me at that time.)

And in His perfect timing, she did die when I was on vacation in Jackson Hole, WY with my husband and our precious, godly friends who were of such a great help to me. I was actually able to complete our time there, fly home and be here for her funeral the next day. It was such a good thing that we had made her arrangements over three years before when Daddy was in the dying process, after we made his arrangements with the funeral director.

So, I suppose my final thoughts (at least for right now) are: 1) Kill expectations. Or, at the very least, give them to God. Psa 62:5 - My expectations are in the LORD and in Him only do I hope. 2) Save yourself (or more importantly, your loved ones) a lot of grief and plan ahead for your death. One out of one dies!! Make your burial/funeral arrangements now!! (I have no stock in any funeral home, by the way. This is not a commercial.)

Heroes

2007-11-27T13:24:00.000-08:00

Today I spent two hours with one of my "Real, Live Heroes"!!! I suppose, I should be politically correct and call her my heroine...........but I just never use heroine......and don't even like to write it!!! (Sorry, I just had to throw that small bit of humor in before I go deep!! )

Truly, this woman is an amazing lady. Her name is Kay. It is not her attire that attracts me to her. It is not any accomplishment that she has done that receives my accolades. It is not her physical agility, performance or appearance that makes her my hero, even though she was quite the tennis player into her 7th decade, and has such a beauty that is captivating. It is not her southern drawl (as much as I love it) nor her tri-lingual expertise that has captured my heart and affection for her that compels me to seek her out to spend time with her. And surely, it is not wealth or social status, as she probably gives away more than she has ever owned and her personal belongings are now down to a half of a very small room in a clean, but packed full of elderly people whose average age is about 85, local nursing home. My hero is 92 years old.

So what makes her my hero.............Jesus in her!! She is the modern day personification of what Paul said in the Word "Follow me as I follow Christ"!! Oh, don't get me wrong..........she has never said any such thing to me in the nearly45 years I have known her. And if she were looking over my shoulder right now she would tell me to stop that!! There was about a 40 year span of time that we had no contact with each other. Then a few years ago, God reconnected us into an intimate friendship through a prayer group we attended at 7:00 AM every Tuesday.

To hear her talk to our LORD in her sweet, southern drawl, praying His Word back to Him, is a memory I shall cherish forever. I miss that weekly time with her. Since her health had been failing the past couple of years, she was not able to get out much. So, I would go to her assisted-living apartment every Tuesday afternoon with a few other friends so we could pray together. Then due to some serious health issues, Kay had to be moved into the nursing home for more care.

The past couple of months, I have been so busy that I had not been able to spend time with her until today. When I walked into her room, she looked up at me from her electric scooter, smiled her precious smile, received my hug, and responding to my "How are you?" said her usual........"I can't complain!" After probing her to tell me how she really is, she said, "The LORD is so good to me. I can't complain!" But she did tell me that she is praying about getting a knee replacement!! What a lady!

We love to talk about the difficult things in the Word and come to the conclusion that some of those things are just too hard to understand, but that we believe it, because we KNOW HIM. She is always so quick to praise Him for His grace, His sovereignty, His lovingkindness, His faithfulness, His provision, and His goodness to her all the days of her life. And that comes in the context of living in the jungles of Mexico among illiterate Indians for 30+ years, where she and Ray raised their three sons. They translated the New Testament and certain sections of the Old Testament into their dialect. On more than one occasion when I would go to visit Kay, she would have that translation of the Word open in her lap, praying for those people whom they had served.

And always right next to her chair would be the stacks of prayer letters and prayer lists that she would pray through every day, telling me that there are not enough hours in the days for her to cover all of the prayer needs for these people serving the LORD around the world. And I know that she prays for me. I will miss that when He takes her home.

So, I have no idea what kind of a person you look up to as a hero, but I am quite sure, none can measure up to mine..............Dear, sweet Kay.

Revamping My Thinking

2007-11-25T12:20:00.000-08:00

Well, I did it!! Last night I finished The Shack by William Young, and stayed up late thinking about the book and what I had just experienced in reading it. As I sat there and thought about my previous blog, I realized I probably overstated my response to what I had read when I said that I had made some paradigm shifts. What actually went through my mind were some examinations of my paradigms and I had to see whether they were founded in Scripture or just in the course of my upbringing and influence of what other people thought.

I loved the book and the way it made me examine myself and what I believe. I do recommend it. You might look at some of what others say on their website. But I would warn you not to read the ones who spoil it by telling you too much of the plot. It is much better reading the story with little to no knowledge of what is going to happen. Honestly, I had to rethink what I had just read to make sure I could decipher what was real and what was not.......rather, what was truth and what was fiction. It is a novel. But I, somehow, had led myself to believe it was a biography. which probably made it even more challenging to my thinking.

The revamping of my thinking has been to review the book afresh through my biblical grid of knowledge from years of studying Scripture. So, if we were able to sit and visit about the book after you read it, it would be great to get into the Word together and find the Truths that were there all the time, just not stated in the way Young expressed it. That is a part of the revamping of my thinking I experience..............seeing Truth with new lenses.

One question I am most often asked when talking with others about the LORD is that one which plagues most people, "If God is such a loving God, why is there so much suffering?" The Shack deals with the hidden concepts that are beneath the surface of that question with amazing creativity, challenging the reader's beliefs about God and His character.

It is not often that I finish a book with the desire to pick it up and start it all over again. I will probably wait until I get my own copy (which I ordered) so I can mark it up with freedom, noting references to Scripture that come to my mind, so I can share them with others.

Before I close this ......... what I consider to be my final comments on The Shack, I have to make a disclaimer now. As with any book, I usually find things with which I disagree and The Shack is no exception. With that said.................go read it anyway!!!! ENJOY!!!

Blessings in Disguise

2007-11-24T13:31:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, no.....oftentimes, our blessings are disguised as inconveniences or interruptions. I am reading a book which is one of those that invades my thoughts constantly, challenging my perspective on things such as inconveniences and interruptions. I think I am supposed to blog about this book because I need to put my thoughts about it in writing.

I have made a few paradigm shifts in the reading of The Shack by William Young. It is a book of which Eugene Peterson (The Message) writes: "This book has the potential to do for our generation what John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress did for his. It's that good!" That piqued my attention, for sure. And then the fact that Kaylyn, one of our daughters, read it & gave it to me to read, saying she thought I would really like it. But since I was busy taking care of her four children and studying to teach the last few lessons for my Precept class, it just sat in my "to read" pile for a month.

And then it happened..... I was hooked. It is an interesting piece of writing that captured my heart and my mind.....stretching my mind in such a way that I have had to reread several passages to allow for the paradigm shift I mentioned. It has made me think about what I believe to be true about God and how I got that image. The story has taken me into the heart and nature of God in a way that was a bit uncomfortable, but a blessing in disguise.

Okay, with that as background, I can now get to my most recent Blessing in Disguise. Today I had planned (my first mistake............to have an expectation) to finish reading The Shack, even knowing that 3 granddaughters were spending the day here while their parents went to the Bedlam football game. So, I decided to create my own Bedlam here and invited the three other granddaughters who live here to come over and let their parents have some time alone. They went to a movie, and took Poppi with them, and left me here alone with 6 "Inconveniences- turned-Blessing". The only inconvenience was that I didn't finish what I had planned, but the blessing you can see for yourself below.

Does it get any better than that?? Such happy faces with their very own creation of their almost-home-made Gingerbread House!!! How much fun is that??

New Beginnings

2007-11-22T20:04:00.002-08:00

It never ceases to amaze me how many "New Beginnings" keep occurring in my life. If I sat here long enough, I could probably bore you (and myself) to tears remembering all of the "New Beginnings" I have had. But, this blog stuff is it for me now. Our youngest child, Rachel, has gotten me to try this out because she has had such a great blessing from doing her blog and meeting so many interesting people.

I must admit that I am quite hesitant about doing this, because Nick, Rachel's husband said that I should be prepared to stop my regular journaling .......that this will take its place. That is not an appealing thought to me at all. I love journaling my prayers and I really would not want anything to change that. So, I will have to just try this New Beginning on for size to see if it is a fit for me.

I believe that this is one of the beautiful aspects of walking with the LORD............change!! The Word assures us that He is in the process of changing us from glory to glory and conforming us (by "us" I mean those who are followers of Jesus as LORD) into His image, whatever that may look like. I am certain of that one thing, that He who has begun a good work in me will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ, that day of the final glorification. What a blessed hope that is. So, with that in mind, I may find that this whole new realm of blogging just might fit into that process.

Tonight, the end of a day of Giving Thanks for what He has done, finds me exhausted, but so humbled at how blessed I am. I am thankful for the ability He has given me to learn new things in these later years of my life. It was only a very few years ago that I made the transition to from handwriting my journal to putting everything on computer. Now I can't imagine my life without a computer (or two: desktop and laptop!!!) SO, I am thankful for the people God continually puts in my life to sharpen me (Pr 27:17) ........... like starting a blog!! We will see!