Yesterday I was in a situation that I have described as "awkward, hard" to those who have asked me how it went. I had to be with someone for several hours with whom the LORD restrained my communication. I know this sounds a bit vague, but that is because I am choosing to be. The past several weeks our family has been going through some life adjustments, causing all of us to find ourselves in difficult places. At some point in the future I might share the first drafts I have written (but not posted) as I have gone through this. But, for now, I wanted to share what the LORD taught me yesterday.
It was not until late last night, when everyone was asleep, that I could finally sit down to journal and listen to Him explain to me the "audible thoughts" he was giving to me all day. {If you have walked with the LORD any length of time, you, no doubt, have also had "audible thoughts" from Him.} Throughout the day when this person would make a comment which did not necessarily require a response, but was surely inviting one, I found myself unusually unresponsive. With the spiritual gift of exhortation that the LORD has given to me, it is usual that He would bring to my mind a verse of Scripture or Biblical precept to share with a hurting person or one who has offended.
But, yesterday, when those "audible thoughts" would come to my mind, I would ask the LORD if I should speak them to the person, or were they just for me to know. All day long, He restrained me from speaking them. Over and over I asked Him if I should share what I was thinking. Each time, I just felt led to pray that He would speak to the person and share those same insights in His timing. It was, as I said....."awkward and hard".
Then last night I picked up a book I had not read for several years, that I pulled out about two months ago, called The Seeking Heart by Fenelon, written in the 17th century. I opened up to a page that was what God was wanting to teach me. I will share the excerpts that He used to explain what He was doing in my own life through those awkward hours.
The page was entitled “Dealing With Offenses”. The parts that really spoke to me were these:
You really need the Spirit of God to give you strength in your trials. His Spirit will hold back the overpowering nature of your natural strength……. God always attacks your weak side. When God aims to kill your old self nature, He touches the tenderest spot—the spot full of life!! This is why He gives you the kinds of trials that He does.
Allow yourself to be humbled. If you are silent and peaceful when humiliating things happen to you, you will grow in grace. I realize that you will be tempted to defend yourself for a thousand different reasons. But it is far better to be humbly silent. Humility that can still talk needs to be carefully watched. You will comfort yourself too much when you speak out.
Don’t be upset when things are said about you. Let the world talk; just seek to do the will of God …..Silent peace and sweet fellowship with God will repay you for every evil word spoken against you. People will come and go—let them do as they please. See only God. He is the One that afflicts or comforts you through people and circumstances. He does this for your benefit.
By the end of my time with LORD late into the night, I knew that I wanted that "Seeking Heart" that waited upon Him. This morning in my quiet time I came across a great verse in Isa 30:18....The LORD waits to be gracious to you, and He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who wait for Him. A note I had written beside it said... wait for = look, long, love, live for!!
