Finding a title for this post was hard to do.........mainly because I am not sure which direction I am going. There are some things the LORD has been teaching me recently in some of my reading. I do see a common thread, but whether or not I join the pieces together at this juncture is still unknown to me. I think what is most on my heart is something that often comes up in my writing.........in my living, actually. That is God's sovereignty.
Three "studies", if you will, I am doing right now are: 1) Trusting God by Jerry Bridges (which I mentioned a long time ago.........and the group is still plodding along to get all the gems out of it, not hurriedly obviously), 2) LORD, I Need Grace To Make It Today by Kay Arthur and thirdly is a book I am slowly digesting by John Piper. 3) Spectacular Sins..and their global purpose in the glory of Jesus Christ. I mention these because one of the common threads is the amazing sovereignty of God.
For me, there is no greater foundation for my faith-walk than understanding, well maybe it is not so much understanding as much as believing confidently in His sovereignty. I cannot kid you nor myself into thinking that I understand it..........certainly not well enough to answer all the questions such a doctrine raises. But, with assurance, I can say that Scripture clearly teaches it and makes not apologies for it.
I think the most recent security check in my belief system came a couple of days ago when Monty and I were at the cardiologist's office for a follow-up from Monty's recent hospital stay. We reminded Dr. Kerns that we have a trip scheduled to Rota, Spain to see Lanny and Stacey Groves and their five children (who are our "family" without genetics), which is where they are ministering with Cadence Int. You can read more about them on Stacey's blog
Anyway, my point on sovereignty is that Dr. Kerns said we could go "at our own risk". My mind immediately jumped to God's sovereignty. We could stay here and wait for nothing/something to happen to him (he is still in atrial-flutter, which is not desirable)or go there and wait for something/nothing to happen!! It really is all in God's control. Both Monty and I are about living and not waiting to die. SO, we are excitedly awaiting the date for our departure to beautiful Rota, Spain, and I might add.....with great peace because of His sovereignty. What an amazing God we serve.
Psa 112:7 "He(she) does not fear bad news nor live in dread of what may happen for he(she) is settled in his(her) mind that Jehovah will take care of him(her)."
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Hearing God
This morning, in early church.......really early since we had to set our clocks forward...I gave this brief testimony on hearing God. It was requested in my SS class that I post it on my blog. So.....by popular (or not so popular) demand......
“ Hearing God? A daring idea, some would say—--presumptuous and even dangerous. But what if we are made for it? What if the human system will not function properly without it? There are good reasons to think it will not. The fine texture as well as the grand movements of life show the need. Is it not, in fact, more presumptuous and dangerous to undertake human existence without hearing God?
Among our loneliest moments, no doubt, is the time of decision……..”
That is a quote in the preface from a great book Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God written by Dallas Willard.
When asked if I would give a brief testimony about how I hear and follow God’s guidance in my life, it led me on a journey down memory lane. I want to take you there this morning, praying that it will be helpful and give God the glory due Him.
When I was 17 years old, God brought a godly young man into my life because He wanted me to learn how to hear His voice and follow Him, which I thought I already knew all of that. After all, I had already been a Christian for 12 years!!
After a few months of dating and writing letters back and forth,(he was a senior in college and I a senior in high school….no cell phones or texting or email) he suddenly wrote me a “Dear John” letter (didn’t even know my name after all that time). I remember it went something like this.
“Dear Carolyn, After spending some time in prayer and in the Word this past week-end at a conference, God has made it clear to me that I need not to see you any more…………..”
I wondered why God hadn’t told me that…………..if we were both praying to the same God, which I knew we were. How come this came as such a shock to me?? Maybe some of you have asked that question….”Why did she/he hear from God and I didn’t?.....”
And that began my spiritual journey of seeking to hear and know His voice. The first thing that occurred to me was that I was the one doing all of the talking to God and I was not a very good listener, because I didn’t think He was talking to me. I didn’t know how to listen.
Then it became so important to me to take in God’s Word more consistently, more intentionally.
First I began with hearing it, with a pen and paper in hand, loving exegetical, expository teaching of the Word.
That whet my appetite for more, so I started reading the Bible through each year with The Daily Walk.
After many years, I was finding that reading it and hearing it taught to me were not enough, so I began studying Scripture inductively, asking the 5 "w's and H": who, what, when, where, why and how…….PLUS writing in my prayer journals what He was teaching me about Himself.
Since I was trying to get the Word into my heart, memorizing was always a part of my interaction with the LORD, praying many verses I was learning back to Him as requests as well as praise.
And before I really knew it, I found myself meditating on the Word most of my days, working around the house, driving children all over the city, just talking with Him about His Word and what He was showing me, day in and day out.
As the years went by, knowing that He IS with me……….Emmanuel……. I noticed that I was very comfortable with decisions, large and small, because I understood His sovereignty and had confidently gotten to know His character in an intimate way……..as with a trusted friend.
So, you see, I really don’t have anything knew………..it is spiritual breathing ……inhaling His Word………exhaling praise back to Him as He lives His life through me.
With many years in His Word, it was clear to me that He was leading me, guiding me…..through Scripture, prayer, His Spirit and trusted friends who also were in the Word, praying and being led by His Spirit.
Yesterday, in my reading I was in Deut 5 and thought this verse, with the Life Application note, was my conclusion.
“Moses continued speaking to the people of Israel and said, ‘Listen carefully now to all these laws God has given you; learn them and be sure to obey them!’”
“Listening is absorbing and accepting information about God. Learning is understanding its meaning and implications. Obeying is putting into action all we have learned and understood. All three parts are essential to a growing relationship with God.”
And we have been graced with the Holy Spirit Who enables us to do just that!!
“ Hearing God? A daring idea, some would say—--presumptuous and even dangerous. But what if we are made for it? What if the human system will not function properly without it? There are good reasons to think it will not. The fine texture as well as the grand movements of life show the need. Is it not, in fact, more presumptuous and dangerous to undertake human existence without hearing God?
Among our loneliest moments, no doubt, is the time of decision……..”
That is a quote in the preface from a great book Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God written by Dallas Willard.
When asked if I would give a brief testimony about how I hear and follow God’s guidance in my life, it led me on a journey down memory lane. I want to take you there this morning, praying that it will be helpful and give God the glory due Him.
When I was 17 years old, God brought a godly young man into my life because He wanted me to learn how to hear His voice and follow Him, which I thought I already knew all of that. After all, I had already been a Christian for 12 years!!
After a few months of dating and writing letters back and forth,(he was a senior in college and I a senior in high school….no cell phones or texting or email) he suddenly wrote me a “Dear John” letter (didn’t even know my name after all that time). I remember it went something like this.
“Dear Carolyn, After spending some time in prayer and in the Word this past week-end at a conference, God has made it clear to me that I need not to see you any more…………..”
I wondered why God hadn’t told me that…………..if we were both praying to the same God, which I knew we were. How come this came as such a shock to me?? Maybe some of you have asked that question….”Why did she/he hear from God and I didn’t?.....”
And that began my spiritual journey of seeking to hear and know His voice. The first thing that occurred to me was that I was the one doing all of the talking to God and I was not a very good listener, because I didn’t think He was talking to me. I didn’t know how to listen.
Then it became so important to me to take in God’s Word more consistently, more intentionally.
First I began with hearing it, with a pen and paper in hand, loving exegetical, expository teaching of the Word.
That whet my appetite for more, so I started reading the Bible through each year with The Daily Walk.
After many years, I was finding that reading it and hearing it taught to me were not enough, so I began studying Scripture inductively, asking the 5 "w's and H": who, what, when, where, why and how…….PLUS writing in my prayer journals what He was teaching me about Himself.
Since I was trying to get the Word into my heart, memorizing was always a part of my interaction with the LORD, praying many verses I was learning back to Him as requests as well as praise.
And before I really knew it, I found myself meditating on the Word most of my days, working around the house, driving children all over the city, just talking with Him about His Word and what He was showing me, day in and day out.
As the years went by, knowing that He IS with me……….Emmanuel……. I noticed that I was very comfortable with decisions, large and small, because I understood His sovereignty and had confidently gotten to know His character in an intimate way……..as with a trusted friend.
So, you see, I really don’t have anything knew………..it is spiritual breathing ……inhaling His Word………exhaling praise back to Him as He lives His life through me.
With many years in His Word, it was clear to me that He was leading me, guiding me…..through Scripture, prayer, His Spirit and trusted friends who also were in the Word, praying and being led by His Spirit.
Yesterday, in my reading I was in Deut 5 and thought this verse, with the Life Application note, was my conclusion.
“Moses continued speaking to the people of Israel and said, ‘Listen carefully now to all these laws God has given you; learn them and be sure to obey them!’”
“Listening is absorbing and accepting information about God. Learning is understanding its meaning and implications. Obeying is putting into action all we have learned and understood. All three parts are essential to a growing relationship with God.”
And we have been graced with the Holy Spirit Who enables us to do just that!!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Home
You know.........there is something special about my home. Even though we were only at the Heart Hospital 2 1/2 days, it felt good to come to our home today. I guess it is that way for a lot reasons, but for us......Monty and me........it is where we do most of life together. So being in a hospital room and being together is just not quite the same. I am thankful that our home is a haven for both of us. We enjoy being here together. We enjoy having people here. And we enjoy being home alone some of the time.
As I think about this brief visit to the hospital, I am reminded once again, that all of life is brief. We are just in different locations briefly here on earth, but always wanting to get HOME. And as comfortable as this Home is, there is still a longing to really go HOME.
We didn't really find out much at the hospital, as far as what caused this last episode for Monty. They did change up his meds quite a bit, and are wanting him to go back in two days for more blood work to stay on top of the changes. But, it is kind of like life............there just aren't always answers to "Why?" questions. Often the answer is "wait and see". Isa 40:31 tells us that those who wait on the LORD will renew their strength. We usually think of waiting as a draining of strength. But the word "wait" carries the idea of: "look, long, love, live for".
So we are being strengthened as we WAIT upon the LORD and His timing and His ways to bring us HOME.
As I think about this brief visit to the hospital, I am reminded once again, that all of life is brief. We are just in different locations briefly here on earth, but always wanting to get HOME. And as comfortable as this Home is, there is still a longing to really go HOME.
We didn't really find out much at the hospital, as far as what caused this last episode for Monty. They did change up his meds quite a bit, and are wanting him to go back in two days for more blood work to stay on top of the changes. But, it is kind of like life............there just aren't always answers to "Why?" questions. Often the answer is "wait and see". Isa 40:31 tells us that those who wait on the LORD will renew their strength. We usually think of waiting as a draining of strength. But the word "wait" carries the idea of: "look, long, love, live for".
So we are being strengthened as we WAIT upon the LORD and His timing and His ways to bring us HOME.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
The Power of Grace
Well, here I am in the Oklahoma Heart Hospital once again........a year later..... with Monty asleep in the bed and I am up writing in my journal all that has been happening the past 48 hours. In one of my recent posts, I mentioned "remembering" and the importance God gives to that in Scripture. It is the re-membering, re-attaching a member of your past to the present.
I am remembering His faithfulness and lovingkindnesses to us a year ago when we were here for 16 days. I am remembering the sudden crash course I was getting in medical terms describing the heart and conditions and diseases of the heart and its importance to the body. I am remembering all of the love and prayers and notes and calls of many friends for weeks and weeks. I remember how uplifted and encouraged I felt in those days of his health crisis, when we did not know if he would make it through yet another heart event.
And now, after a wonderful year of his renewed strength and back-to-normal life, so to speak, we find that his heart is still quite vulnerable. The short version is that for the past few weeks he had been experiencing some shortness of breath, for which we had "natural" explanations: high altitude of Denver, severe allergy attack, etc!!! Then late Sunday night, exactly one year after his 2nd heart attack, we were in bed and he said he felt like his heart was beating really fast. I took his blood pressure and heart rate three times and we headed out for the Heart Hospital. They finally decided to admit him and we were in a room by 3:00 A.M.
He is in A-fibrillation and has high blood pressure again. They have run some tests and have been trying new meds and tweaking the ones he was on to see if they can get his rhythm back to normal and get the blood pressure under control. As of right now, 11:00 P.M. on Mar 3, 2009, we are expecting that after they run some kidney tests in the morning, they might let us go home...........at least that was what the doctor told us this morning. However, he is now running a fever and his pulse and blood pressure have gone up a bit tonight.
So, my point is this, I was sitting here working on my Bible study and the verses I had to observe were these: "But this precious treasure--this light and power that now shine within us--is held in a perishable container, that is, in our weak bodies. Everyone can see that the glorious power within must be from God and is not our own. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken. We are perplexed because we don't know why things happen as they do, but we don't give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going. THese bodies of ours are constantly facing death just as Jesus did; so it is clear to all that it is only the living Christ within [who keeps us safe].......this gives us constant opportunity to show forth the power of Jesus Christ within our dying bodies." 2 Cor 4:7-11
Our troubles are a platform for God to display the power of His grace in humanity, in the Body of Christ.
I am remembering His faithfulness and lovingkindnesses to us a year ago when we were here for 16 days. I am remembering the sudden crash course I was getting in medical terms describing the heart and conditions and diseases of the heart and its importance to the body. I am remembering all of the love and prayers and notes and calls of many friends for weeks and weeks. I remember how uplifted and encouraged I felt in those days of his health crisis, when we did not know if he would make it through yet another heart event.
And now, after a wonderful year of his renewed strength and back-to-normal life, so to speak, we find that his heart is still quite vulnerable. The short version is that for the past few weeks he had been experiencing some shortness of breath, for which we had "natural" explanations: high altitude of Denver, severe allergy attack, etc!!! Then late Sunday night, exactly one year after his 2nd heart attack, we were in bed and he said he felt like his heart was beating really fast. I took his blood pressure and heart rate three times and we headed out for the Heart Hospital. They finally decided to admit him and we were in a room by 3:00 A.M.
He is in A-fibrillation and has high blood pressure again. They have run some tests and have been trying new meds and tweaking the ones he was on to see if they can get his rhythm back to normal and get the blood pressure under control. As of right now, 11:00 P.M. on Mar 3, 2009, we are expecting that after they run some kidney tests in the morning, they might let us go home...........at least that was what the doctor told us this morning. However, he is now running a fever and his pulse and blood pressure have gone up a bit tonight.
So, my point is this, I was sitting here working on my Bible study and the verses I had to observe were these: "But this precious treasure--this light and power that now shine within us--is held in a perishable container, that is, in our weak bodies. Everyone can see that the glorious power within must be from God and is not our own. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken. We are perplexed because we don't know why things happen as they do, but we don't give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going. THese bodies of ours are constantly facing death just as Jesus did; so it is clear to all that it is only the living Christ within [who keeps us safe].......this gives us constant opportunity to show forth the power of Jesus Christ within our dying bodies." 2 Cor 4:7-11
Our troubles are a platform for God to display the power of His grace in humanity, in the Body of Christ.
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