Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Good News

Just wanted to give a brief report from our visit to the doctor today for Monty's one-week-from- dismissal-check-up!!! And it was good news on several counts. One is that he can eat protein now. Previously, I mentioned that he could only have 7 grams of protein/day. Well, on Monday I called that dietitian back to tell her that was impossible....... and she said that she meant 7 oz/day!! Poor Monty!! That was a difficult 4-5 days for him. But, Dr. Kerns said today that he did not have to limit his protein...........just the salt!! However, his creatinine has gotten higher, not lower, so the kidney function is still a concern. He did reduce some of his meds..... which we pray will change that!!

The second good news was that the doctor felt like we "have finally turned a very slow corner, but that Monty had turned it"!!! Dr. Kerns really feels like he is ready for cardiac rehab to get him strong and healthy again. He is very encouraged with the progress he is making, heart and lung wise!!! So, he gave Monty permission to start driving again...........first with me, you know, learner's permit sort of thing!!!

Later the same evening...........
Well, Monty just passed his first driving test!! We cheated death again and made it safely into the garage!!

So, we thank you all so much for your prayers for his continued recovery over the next month or so. Our next appointment for the PET scan and echo cardiogram of his heart will be May 2. We will know then how damaged his heart (that front wall) is. His on-going needs are sleeping at night and kidney function improvement.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Encouraging Words

Sometimes it seems a strange thing how unexpectedly encouraging words can change us. With that most recent stay in the hospital (Mar 14-19), God provided us with some "Barnabas" experiences. One happened on Monday morning when I was walking the halls of the Heart Hospital while going over what was happening with one of my daughters who is in CO. Long story short, I ran into the doctor (Dr. Ghanni) who had done the procedure on Monty when he was having his second massive heart attack.

He seemed surprised to see me. When I told him that we were back because of the fluid on Monty's lung and that this had been our second trip to the ER since we had left on the 6th, he said he was sorry to hear that. But then he went on to say that with all of the events that had happened to him (7 in 7 days), it is no wonder. He explained that it is a balancing act for doctors to find the right combination of medications for each individual and sometimes dehydration occurs (the first trip back) and congestive heart failure, = fluid on the lungs, occurs. And then came the encouraging words!!! "But in a couple of months, he will be fine......back to his activities and strong again!"

I asked him if he really believed that.......to which he replied, "I have NO DOUBT!!! His heart has made it through these two things just fine and with the adjustment to his meds and some time to recover from the two blows to his heart, he will be fine!!" Now I tell you, friends, those were encouraging words!!

The second source of encouragement came from the home health nurse today when she saw him, listened to his heart and lungs and said "You sound great! Your heartbeat is strong and regular and your lungs are completely clear!"

If you have been on this journey with us the past few weeks, I hope you are encouraged by this blog and are praising the LORD with us!!

(P.S.) One prayer request: his kidney function is still in jeopardy. He can only have 7 grams of protein a day and only 1 gram of salt. Pray that either his kidney heals, or I learn soon how to make tasty food without much protein options!!!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Through the Valley of the Shadow #7

Looking back into these events from this perspective now gives me even greater understanding of how important it is to see God's sovereignty over all. Clearly, He was orchestrating the timing of Monty's having those 7 events in 7 days, which as several nurses and physicians have said to us usually happen with heart patients over 7-10 years. No wonder they were afraid to let us go home. They were not sure of what would happen next. But, the LORD knew, and had such a great plan for us.

Mar 4 (Notes from my journal)
Still in the Heart Hospital
Well, Precious LORD, how grateful I am that I have you in my life to live this trial by the power of Your Life, Your Spirit within me. I cannot imagine how unbelievers do this.
Romans 14:7-8 None of us lives to himself [but to the Lord], and none of us dies to himself [but to the Lord, for] 8 If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or we die, we belong to the Lord. AMP

Another hard night with very little sleep, which has become the norm for me. I know that I am being sustained by Your power in answer to the many prayers my brothers and sisters are saying on my behalf. Bless them, LORD Jesus, as only You can for their faithfulness to pray for us. You have given to us the peace that surpasses all comprehension, and I know it full well. We are so blessed with such wonderful friends.

When another long time friend came in this morning, I saw tears well up in Monty’s eyes and I knew he needed time alone with him. So once again, I had everyone leave so they could say whatever was on their hearts. Monty could not talk about it all day long without getting emotional. We had so many visitors, which he thoroughly enjoyed. I know that helped all of them, also, since they had prayed so fervently for him all of this time. How blessed they were to see him looking so well.

Now it is just a matter of getting his meds all at the right levels for his clotting, fluid retention, and kidney function. I do thank You for allowing scientists to discover what they have about helping the body through medication. I know that You are sustaining Monty’s life through those means.

I praise You for the many ways You are displaying Your power and glory to others looking on. I thank You for Monty’s boldness with each of the techs and nurses who have cared for him. He made such a great statement the other day; “The one who wipes your bottom deserves the same respect as the doctor who looks into your heart! Each of them is doing their job to help him.” Thank You for giving me such a man!!

Mar 5
Heart hospital – 3 a.m.
To You, Father God, be the glory. This is all about You. It has been in Your plan which You have been unfolding before us our lifetime together. As I have been lying here for the last hour, trying to go back to sleep (which I thought I needed so much), I have been going over in my mind the events of the past 9-10 days, I see Your hand all over it. I don’t know how or where any of this information will go, but I know it has all happened for Your glory. How humbled both of us are that You would choose us as a showcase of Your grace and glory through such a trial as this. I pray that You will continue to use it to heal relationships that are broken, help others speak words of love to one another.

Thank You, thank You, thank You!! How faithful You are to answer prayers that I prayed so many years ago. Thank You that You never forget what I have asked through the years, and that it is in Your perfect way and time. Over and over I have seen Your hand in the lives of those who are coming around us and going through this process with us.

“I magnify You, O LORD. I exult Your name, for You are great and highly to be praised. I praise You for the glorious splendor of Your majesty and the power of Your awe-inspiring acts. Your power is unlimited and absolute—it is beyond imagining. You are able to do immeasurable more than we can ask or dream of. ‘There is nothing too hard for You’. “Who is like You, majestic in holiness, awesome in You praiseworthy deed?’
“O LORD Most High, You rule over the heavens and the earth, for You made all things by Your great power and You sustain them by Your mighty Word. You are exalted high above every star and galaxy in the entire cosmos…….yet You are also ‘the God of all mankind,’ the great, personally present, personally involved God who loves, rescues, and takes care of all who trust You. You exercise Your gracious authority over all nations—and over each individual in all the world. There is none like You, the true God, the living God, the everlasting King.
“I praise You for Your sovereignty over both the broad events and the details of my life. With You ‘nothing is accidental, nothing is incidental, and no experience is wasted’…… ‘You hold in Your own power my breath of life and all my destiny’…… and every trial that You allow to happen is a platform on which You reveal Yourself, showing Your love and power, both to me and to others looking on. Thank You that I can move into the future non-defensively, with hands outstretched to whatever lies ahead, for You hold the future and You will always be with me, even to my old age….and through all eternity.” 31 Days of Praise by Ruth Myers

Mar 6
Day 11 in OKla Heart Hospital
Well, after being up since 4:15, I am ready for a nap, and it is only 9 in the morning! But we are so encouraged by what Dr. Kerns said this morning. When he came in, he said, “Do you want the good news or the good news?” The creatinine had stayed the same, which is 3.0. So they believe it has made the plateau. His INR was at a 3.1, which is high, so they are stopping one of the clotting meds. So, he said, that he is sure that he can go home tomorrow. Monty was disappointed and said he thought he was going to say the good news was that he could go home today. So, Dr. Kerns said that he would see if Dr. Wilson was okay with the creatinine being there and with sending him home and that maybe we would be able to leave later this afternoon. He asked me if I was okay with that, to which I said I did not want him to go home if he had any doubts about it.

Joy, the nurse who was taking care on Monty on Saturday when he had the second heart attack, came by to see him. She had been so great that day and we became very much kindred spirits. She was so calm and so professional and quick in the time of the emergency. I told her how thankful we were that she was his nurse that day. She told us she works down in the cath lab where they do the procedures and was only up here because they were short-handed and called her to sub for someone. She knew that You, Father God, had appointed her to be here for us.

Then suddenly at 4:00, they said we could go home!! Hallelujah!! What a mighty God You are!

Mar 7
HOME
Thank You, Father God, Sovereign LORD in Whom I live and move and have my being. What a miracle worker You are. Thank You, LORD!!! This entire journey has been just one blessing after another. Your mighty hand has shown us just a tiny bit of Your power to do more than we can ask or think. I pray that You will bring to my remembrance all of the great things You have done so that I will be quick to give You the glory and the praise. I can’t help but go back to that verse You gave us the day we went into the hospital……
Psalms 27:14 Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the LORD.

Mar 8
Saturday at home
Most Gracious and Loving Father God, again, we have seen You fulfill Your word to us. How thankful I am that You have chosen to strengthen Monty’s physical heart as well as his spiritual one…………and mine………….and our children. You have lifted each of us and set us on higher ground. How thankful we are that You are the center of our lives, individually and as a family. Praise Your name. even though we are not sure how well he is really doing in his heart, I know that You are the true “Heart doctor”. And I truly do not fear whatever You have for us.

Through the Valley of the Shadow #6

SO much has been happening this week, that I have not even had the time to edit my journal to add a new post. I will try to wrap up this soon. It is important to share some of the details because I believe God is the God of every detail of our lives and I have seen how He sovereignly worked in such small details. One of these is shared in this post..............answer to prayers of a young teen-ager praying for her "would-be-someday-mate"!! I want each one who reads this to be encouraged to trust and obey......for this is no other way to be happy in Jesus (to quote a favorite hymn)!!

Mar 3, 2008
Oklahoma Heart Hospital
LORD God Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, Giver of life, both physical and eternal, hallowed be Your name. You are the ever present One Who controls all things by Your Omnipotence and according to Your eternal plan. I worship You as my Sovereign LORD and Savior, Who lives in me and loves me completely. How thankful I am to be in this place that You have me now, and to be experiencing Your blessings in the midst of all of this. Thank You for last night and the wonderful blessings You shower upon me as Monty’s wife. I am so humbled by the fact of the way that You have answered my many prayers I prayed as a young teen-aged girl, who wanted to serve You.

It was so special to me that when Monty was talking to Kaylyn about wanting to take his sleeping pill at 9:00 and then another one at 2:00………..and again at 4:00, if he still weren’t sleeping. Kaylyn assured him that Rachel would be here to take good care of him. He kind of paused and said, “Oh, Rachel is staying here tonight???” Kaylyn asked if that was okay……….and then asked if he wanted me........ He said he wanted me!!! And meanwhile, I was out in the hall talking on the phone and a bit disappointed that I wasn’t staying with him. Then Kaylyn came out and told me what he said. How I thank You that I am so loved by him. It warmed my heart and it turned out that we had such a great time talking through all of this and what You are doing. Thank You for allowing me to share with him all that I have seen Your hand doing in this week.

It is wonderful to have a husband who “gets it!!!” Last night when we were talking and praying, our concern was for the larger picture, larger than just our family, knowing that there were angels all around us and that thousands of people have heard about Your story in our lives. I know that You will use this whole experience in the lives of many people since Rachel has been writing about it on her blog. I read to him her blog and he relearned much of the details of this whole ordeal that he had lost in the journey, and was quite alarmed at the seriousness of it all. Thank You for the prayer time we had together, and how intimately we have been connected when we have these times alone.

Then we had a really good night of sleep………he had about 8-8 ½ hours and I had probably 6 ½ -7. It was great. And then the children all came in one by one and told of the rough nights they all had, which made my heart smile!! You gave us the blessing of a good night while You awoke them (and many others) to intercede for us. And suddenly early this morning, a dear old friend of Monty's walked in!!! Their eyes met, and Monty’s immediately filled up with tears. He came around and took his hand, and with a shaky hand Monty held on tightly. I could tell they needed to talk and so I had the children all leave with me so they could be alone.

O my God, You are doing a work here that is far greater than what we could have imagined. How could we have known that this was the way You were going to answer our prayers months ago about bringing healing in relationships!!! I found Monty, still very emotional. All he could say when I asked him how it went and what was said was that "just his presence was enough!" He said that they told each other that they loved each other. How great You are, LORD! You are the God of all love, Thank You.

Monty has been so emotional all day and has been so quick to tell others of his love for them. I think the impact of this week is just really beginning to sink in for him. He has been able to separate the urgent from the important and learn how much he is loved. We were surprised when Dr. Ghanni came in this morning to make rounds for Dr. Kerns, telling us that he had had a procedure done and would be back tomorrow. Well, we learned what the procedure was!! While Dr. Kerns was at his cabin at the lake, he began to have some of his own heart problems, called the hospital, scheduled his own surgery and his family drove him straight here on Sunday. At 2:00 p.m. they put a pacemaker/defibrillator in him. He was dismissed this morning and went home for the day.

Dr. Ghanni said that the echo cardiogram done last night showed that the front wall of the left anterior part of his heart was flat, which meant that it was not completely dead in that it did not bow up when pushed by the lower part of the beating heart. He said that it could repair since it was not bowed. Time will tell if it has any life or not. He also said that his creatinine serum (kidney) was up and that he still had fluid in his lungs. They were working on his meds to try to balance them all to get the fluid off, keep his heart rate regular, his blood pressure down and not damage the kidney, and thin his blood to prevent clotting. It was a real trick. Monty still was pretty weak, but was beginning to feel better.

After all that we had been through over the week-end, we were looking forward to a “boring” time for a change. "Boring" is a word they are looking for with heart patients here. {It has been hard for me to find the time to journal all of this, and now I am writing the rest of this several days after the fact, trying to remember details. But it is all much of a blur for me. My computer began to lose power, with an error notice that said the battery was dangerously low and to plug it in or change the battery. I always kept it plugged in, so this made no sense. Finally, Nick took care of it, called Dell, and had them send me a new adapter cord over night. But I still was without this journal for three days….this is the fourth…..and my brain is having a hard time putting the pieces in the right places. }

Some of the verses that have been so special to me that friends have shared with me: Isa 45:3 I will give you treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places, that you may know that I, the LORD, Who call you by your name, AM the God of Israel.
Psa 34: I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make its boast in the LORD; The humble shall hear of it and be glad. Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt His name together...........The angel of the LORD encamps all around those who fear HIM, and delivers them. Oh taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Through the Valley of the Shadow #5

It has been so good for me to go back and reread my journal. Thank you for listening to me share excerpts from it. There have been other things that have happened in the lives of many others since our time spent in the hospital. I fear that if I put it all in here, I would most certainly be the only one reading it, and I have already done that!! I hope this blesses and encourages others to journal, but more importantly to "trust in the LORD with all your heart, and don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him = make Christ known, and he will make your paths straight."

Mar 2, 08 (my journal)
Last night, when I was sitting in the room and thinking Monty was asleep, I heard his voice say to me …..”Do you want to pray?” How that always warms my spirit and soothes my heart!! So I got up and we held hands as he prayed something like this “Father, You are in charge of all of this. I don’t know what You want. But if I perish, I perish. I just want to do it well for your glory!! I pray for there to be healing in relationships that need it. I trust You. In Jesus’ name. Amen!”

As I have shared many times today………could I ask for anything more from You? It doesn’t get any better than that!! You have given to me my heart’s desire, a godly husband who loves You more than his very life.

Today was another eventful day, unfortunately. However, the outcome was quickly positive in the resolve of it. This time Monty was having a hard time breathing, turned very pale. The hard part was that he had said to Kaylyn and Gwyneth that he felt like he wasn’t going to make it. They came to get me as I was in the hall visiting with some friends. Very shortly all six of us were gathered there together with tears as Monty was having such a hard time. It was for us “the shadow of death” once again. But Your Word immediately came to my mind again……..though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death........... And now as I reflect back on it:...... through = you pass through it, you don’t stay in it!! I often have meditated on that, too, and that it is a valley which means there are mountains == beauty, grandeur, height……….to which the valley leads, and it is a shadow and shadows are not the real thing. The shadow of death is very different from death itself, which has no fear. Fear comes when we are going through something, but when death has occurred, it is all over. Death is not the fear for a believer, because death is the avenue to our fulfilled hope……….life with YOU, LORD Jesus.

Back to the episode, the nurses, etc. brought in the right meds, did an ECG, working very quickly and within 15 minutes he was stabilized. Being professionals, they could recognize that it was not a heart attack, even though many symptoms were the same, but that it was congestive heart failure because of the buildup of the fluids on his lungs. Since Monty had a rough night before with very little sleep, the nurse let him rest most of the morning without getting him up or sitting him up. With all of the fluids they were flushing through him, his lungs were beginning to fill up because of his shallow breathing, a result of a weakened heart. Thus, he was having congestive heart failure, another new issue. More new medicines to adjust to the litany of others already!!

So, here I was again, wondering what You were doing that was way beyond the immediate……..in the lives of many others who are watching, praying and waiting to see how You are receiving the glory due Your name. As the many people call, email, send cards and notes, bring food, etc., I am so aware that this is all for any one of them as well as for us and our immediate family. So people continued to pour out their love and concern to us with their visits.

Once they started getting the fluids out of his lungs, he was doing so much better and continued to improve through the rest of the day and night. He began feeling much better and continued to do so. They had ordered an echocardiogram that was due to be done at 12:00. Dr Ghani had prepared us that the echo would not tell us a lot we didn’t already know, but was going to give us a baseline for future ones down the road. But, they also want to see if there is any movement in the front wall of the heart to see if it is dead or not. They know that his heart has taken a big hit and that the blood supply is not being demanded by the heart to flow through the artery. They finally came to do the echo at 7:00 P.M. and told us we probably won’t hear anything until the morning.

Rachel is planning on spending the night tonight with Monty, as she has not had much alone time with him this whole week. Since she was sick so much at the first of the week, she kept going home to go to bed and get her fever down. She was running 102+ for the first few days and has been fighting back and feeling better since getting antibiotics.. And, I think the kids are worried about me because I am not getting much sleep up here and they think I need to go home and sleep.

Gracious Father, how I depend on You and praise You for the knowledge and awareness of Your Presence in the midst of all of this. I say again, glorify Yourself in me!!

Through the Valley of the Shadow #4

Just a quick note to update: I am trying to do this blog while we are in the hospital again. We made our third trip to the ER on Friday night (Mar 14 at 10:00). (The first ER was that Monday morning, the second ER was three days after we went home) Monty was not doing well most of the afternoon/evening, which was so the opposite of the 5 days previously. We had some friends over and watched a movie (a good recommendation: The Queen) and Monty asked me to rub his neck and shoulders, that he felt tight. If you remember..........that is what he said the Sunday night he had the heart attack at home!!! When we were getting ready for bed, I could tell he was just off. He had a fever and was breathing really hard. He had taken a nitro, which helped. I called the home health nurse who told us to go to the ER. So, it would seem that he has pheumonia and a lot of fluid on his lungs. We will be here at least tomorrow when his cardiologist will decide whether it is safe for him to go home.

So, here is my next entry from my journal:
March 1, 08….9:40 P.M.
Oklahoma Heart Hospital Day 6
O LORD God, where would I be without You. I cannot imagine. You are my Strength, my Tower, my Refuge, my Fortress, my strong Deliverer, my Peace, my Protector, my Provider, my Savior, my Friend!! My heart rejoices in You, LORD, for You are my strong shelter in times of stress. You have been the place where I have always run to as my hiding place, even from the time of my childhood!! I pray that You will be that for our children and grandchildren. I praise You for Your love and wisdom. You are too wise to ever make a mistake and too loving to ever do anything unkind. And so, tonight (which is now 10:30), after the events of the day and all that You are doing in our lives, I praise You……..I trust You…….. I wait upon You.

I need to journal the events of this day so I will not forget all Your benefits. After getting a full night’s sleep at home alone, I came up here about 8:15 and found Monty sitting up in bed and looking so well. He had just eaten a good breakfast and was saying to Kaylyn that it is so amazing that he could feel 100% after having had such a heart attack and all of the other things that had happened to him this week. He was waiting to get a shower and for the dr on call for Dr Kerns (Dr Ghanni) to come and dismiss him. We got him into the shower, which he did by himself. Then Monty sat up in the chair. After about 15 minutes, after his nurse had hooked him back up on his monitors and walked out of the room, Monty said he thought it was hot and wanted to go out for a walk and cool off. His cardiac rehab nurse was here to take him for a walk. We turned the air down. Then he said he was feeling nauseous. He said it was because of the nurse's perfume…….well, she didn’t have any perfume on!!!! Kaylyn has a really good sense of smell and she didn’t notice any perfume.

So then the color began to leave his face and we quickly helped him back in bed and I called for the nurse. She came in, turned around and called to page Dr. Ghani. She came back in and had others come to help her, got an ECG started, started him on some nitro. He began sweating profusely once again, drenching the bed, etc and was completely pale. The ECG showed he was having another heart attack right then. Within 15 minutes Dr Ghanni was here and they were prepping Monty to go back down to the cath lab to see what was causing the heart attack.

Philip, Nick and Gwyneth were on a Team Young Life bike ride out on sod farm, NE OKC, which is a 32 mile ride. And Christina was running in a 10K race. As this started happening, I received two phone calls from people who would pray. I said “Pray” and hung up. Rachel called and I stepped out of the room while they were working on Monty. When asked about the pain/pressure on his chest, he said it was worse than the time at home. I told Rachel another episode was happening. She hung up and called Nick and said she would be here as soon as she could get the children take care of. From that time of getting him into bed, it was a whirlwind. Joy, our hurse, was incredible in taking care of everything. Within an hour he was back down in the cath lab. Sovereignty.

Dr. Mark Bodenhamer, good friend of Philip's who is a renown cardiac, thoracic, heart surgeon who had been such a huge help to us, had come up and was going over everything and telling us all that was going on. Monty was having another heart attack in that same place and Dr Ghanni was a great interventionist and would go back in the brachial artery (in the arm) and look to see if the LAD had occluded above or below the stent.

Rachel arrived just as they took him down. Dr Ghanni had told us before they took him down that he was not sure what he would find when he went in there. And then he gave us the same warning of what could happen, which included death. Kaylyn and I had seen the whole thing and knew that he was in serious trouble. We went back downstairs again to the waiting room with our fourth pager now. This time felt really scary in that he was in such bad shape when they took him and he was in the middle of having the attack. The bikers were as far away from the cars as possible and it would take them an hour to ride back to the cars, and then drive all the way over here. Christina was on a 10K race and was on her way here when she finished.

While we were in the waiting room, Rachel asked me if I had cried yet. She said that she had not seen me cry and just wondered if I had done it in private. But, LORD, I know that my times………Monty’s times are in Your hands…………..and I trust You with that with all my heart. I say with the Psalmist that I do not fear bad news, nor live in dread of what may happen for I am settled in my mind that You, Jehovah, will take care of me and him. "What time I am afraid I will put my trust in You" is what I have said since I was a little girl. Now I am living that. And I assured Rachel that I do cry sometimes and that I have real emotions. About that time, a close friend (waiting with us) got up and said he had to leave, but would come back. I stood up to hug him and when I did he burst into tears, into sobs, and so did I. I told him that this has to be so hard for him because Monty is like a Father to him……….and sobbing, he said, “More than that”!! It broke my heart for him. I have asked You to use all of this in any way that would bring You glory. But here we were in the midst of this tragic time, and it was like You just turned on the faucet of my eyes to show Rachel that I can cry. It really was kind of funny, the timing of it all. You have a great sense of timing!!!

After about an hour, Dr Ghani met with us to say that the same artery had completely occluded with blood clots. He was able to suction them out as best he could, but that the part of the heart that artery feeds the blood, may be dead and not demanding the blood. Thus the blood that is there just pools. The next 48-72 hours will be critical. Philip, Christina, Nick and Gwyneth got there just as he was beginning to brief us………….Your timing once again. Sovereignty. You brought them safely back on the last half of their ride and to the hospital. What we were hearing was so much to process. Mark came in shortly after Dr. Ghanni had started and pretty much repeated it all and then some. The options are nil right now and it is up to God and Monty to work this out. Mark said to keep our fingers crossed and with some good luck, he will be fine. (That did not work for me since I know You!)

Tomorrow they will do an echocardiogram to see how much of the heart is dead and not functioning to have a better idea of what the next step might be. His kidneys seem to be doing better handling the dyes and will be flushed again. It was all kind of a blur. It was a shock to all of us. I have known for a long time that You were about to do something…………and Monty and I had even talked and prayed about such things. We are more than happy to be Your agents of reconciliation and to share the goodness and peace of Your forgiveness. Your forgiveness is more real to us when we are ministers of that forgiveness to others. So, I say again, use us for Your glory alone.

Joy told me tonight before she went off shift, as she gave me a big hug, that she loved our family and was so impressed with us and our love for each other that was obvious. I told her that if she would be a woman of the Word and let You rule in her life as she trained their children, that this could be her family 30 years from now. She was a believer and full of Your joy and peace. We loved her and I ask You to use this in her life for years to come. She was such a blessing to us today!!!!!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Through the Valley of the Shadow #3

More excerpts from my prayer journal:


One of the wonderful nurses who had taken care of Monty, told us before she was leaving for the night that she would not be back and that she wanted us to know that we were a blessed family. She said she could not tell us before, but that the stents were put into the artery called the “widow maker” because most of those who have blockage there don’t make it!!! It is the largest and most important artery in the heart…………the Left Anterior Descending Artery!!! The first thing that came to my mind was the verse You gave us on Monday in my One Year………….Psa 27:14 “Wait on the LORD. Be of good courage. He will strengthen your heart. I say, wait on the LORD!!!!!” Praise Your name. You are worthy of our trust and praise. You have strengthened his heart, in more ways than one!!! Sovereignty. We did not go home today as they had thought!!! You are still using all of this for Your glory!! I pray for that nurse to see You in us.

What a great day of rejoicing Wednesday was……………until that night when I was here alone with Monty!! At 10:00 p.m., he suddenly groaned…….when I was writing in this journal. As I got up to check on him, the alarm on his monitor began going off loudly and people started rushing in……..his new nurse, a wonderful man and several others. His heart rate had suddenly jumped to 160 and he began complaining of his chest pressure. He was sweating profusely. When asked how much pressure he said a 4. It was horrible to watch him suffering so. After about 5 hours of trying different medicines and amounts (3 A.M.), it finally went from Atrial Fib to sinus, which is the normal rhythm and remained in the right rhythm the rest of the day. But then, about 4:30 P.M., he began to have pain in his left shoulder and when asked this time, he said it was a 5, which was the highest so far. They gave him Nitro, some pain medicine, & took an EKG (or as I heard recently an ECG), which showed no attack, but was still called heart pain or angina. They got that calmed down. Thank You for competent people who are your instruments for Your Sovereign plan.

When the nurse change over occurred at 7:00 P.M., the new nurse was standing by him to do his evaluation and noticed his rate suddenly jump to 166 and then boom………he was back into Atrial Fib and it was staying so high and bounced back and forth. But this time, he showed no reaction to it. His body was tolerating it………… without the sweats, chest pain or anything else. In fact, we were rather amazed that he was not having any signs of stress. If we had been home, I would not have known. Thank You that You still have us here......sovereignty. The new nurse, another guy was really indoctrinated quickly into the Churchill saga You were creating. This time he stayed really high in A fib.

Thank You so much for the way You are using all of this in so many lives, healing relationships, creating open conversations that needed to happen. I have thought about a great verse in Eccl............"Better to go to a house of mourning than a house of feasting, for that is the end of all men, and the living will take it to heart".....7:2, I think. For the many people who are being affected by all of this, not that it is a house of mourning, for sure, but it is a time for the living to reflect. I pray that it will go well with their discussions and following up in communicating their love for each other.

I know that You are answering prayers that Monty and I prayed so long ago.

Finally, after several hours they still were not able to get him out of Atrial Fib, but they did get the beat lowered to a more tolerable rate, that being under 100. He was still in A Fib all day today. Dr Kerns was concerned that possibly his artery to his kidney was causing the whole issue of the high blood pressure, by constriction in it and that the hormone secreted by the kidney to protect it was able to be changed. So an ultrasound of his kidneys was done today, but they all seemed to be normal. SO, it would mean that Monty is left to take the medicine that has higher risk of side effects that Dr. Kerns does not want him to have to take. But the safer ones were not working. And the other thing he doesn’t want to do is put him on Coumadin since he is already on another blood medication, Plavix, after having a heart attack.

How great it is to have that quiet confidence that You are in complete control.....of kidneys, of blood clots, of heart rhythms!!! We are fearfully and wonderfully made!! You are a great Creator and Sustainer of life. In you we live and move and have our being!!

O Father God, how great You are and greatly to be praised. You are so worthy of all praise and worship. Today at 5:00 P.M., the medicine worked and he converted back to sinus rhythm. He all of a sudden perked up and is doing so much better. We all shouted with joy because we knew he had turned a corner. It meant that he might be able to go home this week-end after all. How good You are!! It is good to see Monty’s smile back and his warm personality.

Another one of the ways I have seen You provide Your grace to me has been through the many calls, emails and visits of Your messengers who love us. I am asking You to bless them and richly reward them as only You can for their acts of kindness to us.


Once again, I want to leave you on the same positive note we were all experiencing at the end of Day 5, Friday.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Through the Valley of the Shadow #2

Now these will be some excerpts from my prayer journal:

Within 45-50 minutes from the time we had walked into the ER, they had changed the cath lab schedule ….moving someone back who was not an emergency…and had him in there doing a procedure on him. That was the next sign of His sovereignty.

As the word got out through the church rapidly, friends started showing up immediately. O LORD, what peace You were giving to me. Thank You. And from that moment when I knew You were telling me to bring him here to the heart hospital, I lived in the grace of Your sovereignty. We were all praying that You would guide Dr Kerns and help him to do whatever needed to be done. He came out pretty quickly to tell us that he could not get into the whole heart because there were some blood clots that prevented him from looking down vessels and arteries to see where the damage was. He was disappointed, but had left the sheath in his leg artery to try it again the next day after getting him on blood thinners to try to dissolve the clots. And since the creatinine serum in his kidney was elevated, he wanted to flush out the dye from it as much as possible because he was a candidate for kidney failure. And in order to feel safe to go into the artery again the next day and inject more dye, he was concerned that the kidney needed to be at a lower level of the serum.

So the next prayer was for the clots to dissolve and the serum level to decrease. The next morning they took him again for another angiogram to put the stents into the arteries Dr Kerns knew needed them. He came back out to us pretty quickly and told us that he could not even get the scope to the heart this time because his artery was so twisted with a 360 degree revolution. He was not sure if he couldn’t get through because the sheath had perforated the artery, or that it was just so kinked that he could not get it straightened with the instrument to go in and look to see if the clots had dissolved. He was disappointed and was now more concerned about the kidneys, because he was going to have to have dye twice in two days. Only this time it was to take a CT scan to see why he couldn’t get through and to see if the left leg was as twisted an artery as the right. So, by now Monty had to lay flat on his back with his right leg perfectly straight for 36 hours. Two nights now had been miserable with no sleep. He was so uncomfortable……..and they still had not been able to do anything for his heart attack damage.

Well, more and more people were contacting us, praying, coming by and calling or emailing. IT was such a blessing to be able to tell them that I was living in the reality of Your sovereignty and that I truly was fine through it all. I know that You are my sufficiency and adequacy. I love You, LORD.

They finally were able to come in and take out the sheath from the femoral artery, which was excruciatingly painful for Monty. He has already endured so much.

Kaylyn and Gwyneth arrived from Denver around 7:30 P.M. It is good to have them here with us. Gwyneth wanted to stay the night with him so I could go home and get some sleep, after being up for two nights in a row.

On Wednesday morning, Monty was sitting up in bed. It was such a pleasant surprise. He was getting tired and wanted to lie back down in bed. The nurse had said that she thought their plan was to get him on the right blood thinners, and the right blood pressure medicine and get his kidneys safe again by flushing him with fluids….. since he had the dye the second time for the CT scan………which had shown that they could not go through the left femoral artery either because his just happened to be made that way…………..kinky and twisted. So the only other way was to try the brachial artery in the arm which is much smaller and a little more difficult. But they would wait and have us go home on the meds and then come back in a week.

Once again, that was their plan and not Yours. Already we had asked that they would be able to get into the heart the first time. You said “No!” and I believe that was from You and for Your glory and purposes. You needed more time to do what You wanted to do with this whole situation. They tried the 2nd time and again, You said “No!” And this 3rd time, they had their plans, to send us home for a week..... .and You said “No!” Which I am so glad that You are in control!!! All of a sudden Monty began feeling pain in his chest and was once again saying he was “uncomfortable”. This time when they asked him how bad, he was he said that it was about a 3 in pressure.

At that very time, You had it such that Dr Kerns was walking onto the floor to come and check on Monty. They immediately began doing the EKG and other tests. When Dr Kerns saw that there was no significant change in his EKG, or blood stats, he said that he sees nothing happening that says he is having another attack, but that he cannot ignore the pain in his chest. He prepared us very frankly that he did not know if he would be able to get into the heart with the scope and stents because.... first, he didn’t know if those veins were kinky. He didn’t know if the clots had dissolved and he didn’t know if he would have to cut him open and do an emergency by pass, or if he would die!! He just said it that plainly…………he just didn’t know what he would find, but he did know that he could not ignore that he was having pressure.

He was going to check to see how crowded their schedule was in the cath lab and get him scheduled as soon as possible. It was about 9:25 Wednesday morning. He came right back in and said that they had him scheduled for 11:00 a.m., but that he wanted it done sooner than that. Not even 5 minutes had gone by when a tech came in to prep him for his procedure that was going to be at 10:15!!! Only 45 minutes from then and a total of one hour from when he had that first mention of chest pressure. Once again, LORD, You were sovereign over the whole thing. But this time, we said our good-byes to him……….Rachel, Nick, Kaylyn, Gwyneth and I. (Philip, Christina and the girls are skiing in CO with Gwyneth's four children and Erik!!). It was an emotional time because we really did not know what we were facing for sure…………………..but YOU DID!!! {NOTE: Something weird happened with the font here and I can't seem to fix it!! Sorry!! Too late}

By 10:45 the pager went off that Dr Kerns was ready to meet with us……….Kelley joined us to take notes once again and be our secretary on the details. The first words out of Dr. Kerns’ mouth were “The LORD was with me!” He was able to get straight into the heart, the bigger clots had dissolved, he was able to put in the two stents in the LAD artery and clean up most everything. It could not have gone better. Praise You, LORD!!! That was in answer to the many prayers of many righteous people whom You dearly love and who dearly love You!!! Thank You for such great news. What a glorious celebration!

(This is a good place for me to say Good Night!!. I don't know what time this blog says, but my clock is saying 12:27 a.m. More later!!!)

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Through The Valley of the Shadow

Since it has been a while since I have blogged I am quite certain this will take more than one post. The LORD has begun taking Monty and me on an interesting journey.

Over the past year or so, we both have felt that God was leading us into a different direction for ministry, but we just were waiting upon Him to give us the specifics. To give you a bit of background...... we have been working with college aged and post college young adults for the past 15 years, teaching Sunday School & home Bible studies. For 20 years before that we were high school sponsors/Sunday School teachers, etc. Now that we are in our 60's, we have wondered if the LORD were taking us in a different direction. Both of us have been open to the possibility of a change and have even discussed that maybe we should go to early childhood and give the parents of the young children a break. God has already made a couple of changes in my personal teaching ministry this past year. We have been anticipating some sort of change in our lives.


SO with that said, I want to begin sharing the events of the past month. Monty had been having some physical problems for the past year or so. The first of February we had just begun getting some directions from doctors for possible diagnosis. One of the things that showed up was high blood pressure, for which he began taking medicine. About this same time, both of us got the virus/bacteria, etc. that was spreading in OKC in epidemic proportions. It took more than two weeks for us to begin to feel anything close to well.


Meanwhile, I had been asking the LORD to show me what to do and where to go to find help for Monty and his health problems. Then on Sunday night,Feb 27, we had been to church and stopped for something to eat. Monty only wanted a bowl of soup, which was a little unusual, but I thought he might be getting the "bug" back. The whole night, neither of us slept. He just tossed and turned, got up and wandered through the house. About 4 in the morning, as we were lying in bed, he said he was "uncomfortable". When I asked him if he hurt anywhere, sort of expecting him to describe flu-like symptoms again, he said he had "pressure". I asked him where his pressure was and he asked me if I would rub his neck and shoulders. I knew that he had a really important luncheon meeting the next day, and assumed he was uptight about it.


Now I want to take you into my spiritual journey!! While we were awake most of that night, I got up and wrote in my journal, asking the LORD to just show me what to do with Monty and the various symptoms he was having, not just that night, but for the past 14-16 months. I asked Him if I should seek natural pathology as an alternative, trying to find other things to help him. I told Him I would do whatever He showed me, but I just needed Him to show me. And as I lay there next to Monty, I just kept praying for wisdom and guidance

The next morning he got up and dressed to meet a young man he has been mentoring the past several months. So I figured he felt better since he didn't say anything about not feeling well. I went to my 8:15 appointment and asked the dr. whom he suggested for a homeopathic directions for Monty's high blood pressure we had just discovered. I drove straight to that place, but it was a dead end, in that there was no one there at that time who could help me. I was to call back at 9:00. Then right after that Monty called me and said he wanted me to take him to the Heart Hospital ER. His answer to my question as to why, was that at breakfast he was nauseous and both of his arms were numb. I hung up the phone and immediately thanked the LORD, saying "Now that is what I am talking about. I can understand that and do somethng that clear!!!"

That began the spiritual clarity of God's sovereign grace over the whole trial He had for us. The next came in the ER. I had on my list for that day to call for an appointment for Monty with Dr. Chris Kerns, the cardiologist who had taken care of Mother, knowing it could be 3-6 months for a new patient appointment. But when they asked me in the ER who his cardiologist was, I, of course, said Dr. Kerns. They asked Monty why he was seeing Dr. Kerns, to which Monty replied that he had never met him. Long story short, Dr. Kerns was in that ER cubicle within 30 minutes after we arrived (much to the surprise of the ER personnel)!! They told us "he was not the cardiologist on call".....to which I thought......he is on God's call!!! He is a godly man who took us, I believe, because God had called him to respond to our request!! (so much for the 3-6 months for an appointment!!) Soveriengty. It was a total shock to both of us when he told us that according to the EKG, Monty had had a major heart attack last night!! We had no idea!!

About an hour later when Dr. Kerns came to talk to us after the angiogram, he made the comment again that if I had brought him in when he was having the heart attack the night before, it would have been better because they could have gotten into the heart before it was all clotted, as it was this morning. Another sovereignty thing.....God did not tell me to take him in..........or that he was having a heart attack. Monty had no "typical symptoms" like you always hear. God chose to keep us in the dark about his heart attack because He had something much bigger in mind and it would not happen if we were in and out of the hospital in short order!!!


Over and over, I have believed and taught.........."Learn in the light what you will need to live in the dark!!" Now I was living the truth I have spent a lifetime learning from the WORD. In my next post, I want to share parts of my journal from our 11 days in the hospital and ways I saw God's hand in all of this.

But first, I want to leave you with a verse that was in my Bible reading for that day. Psa 24:17 "Wait on the LORD. Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, upon the LORD."
One note: often in the OT, wait is used as "trust in"!! It is active faith. We live by faith in the Son of God Who loved us and gave Himself up for us!!!