Cycles of Life

This post definitely is going to be one of my more difficult writings. I am having a hard time sorting out my racing thoughts, editing what to write and what not to write. Even knowing how to start has been difficult for me because of the many contrasting thoughts. I think I am just going to take the plunge and then maybe save drafts before publishing..........we'll see.

As you can see there has been over a month gap in my postings. That is because of various circumstances that have crashed into my life. I am not really sure that the seemingly important things, at the time, in July are now worthy of blog space. So I guess I have decided to eliminate all of those swirling thoughts and go to Aug 6, when I met with a surgeon who confirmed that I needed to have my gall bladder removed from the premises of my body. When I tried to tell him my dilemma... that I was planning to be gone Aug 15-23 to Jackson Hole, WY, and was wondering whether it needed to be done before, or could it wait????.....he offered to go into his office and look into his crystal ball to see if I would experience a sudden burst of pain while in the air and need emergency surgery.......!!!! To that I replied that was exactly what I was paying him the big bucks to do (I have $2500 deductible insurance which I will more than reach in the cost of all of this)!! So after the chuckles died down, I asked him what he was doing on Friday, Aug 8th!!! I suddenly felt compelled that I was to do this immediately. It was not an audible voice from the LORD, but I knew He was leading me to do this right away.

So, it all happened two days later...........At 8:30 a.m.,I entered the out patient surgery center for my first experience of any medical treatment with an anesthesia since I had my tonsils removed when I was 6!! I had not been in a hospital since my last baby was born 33 years ago! And I didn't even have an IV with her then!! And, by 5:00 p.m., I was walking into my house, minus one small body organ. I lay down on the bed and the phone rang!!!

That call led me into the darkest trial of our family's lives thus far. I say that because on my radar screen were only "real life" possibilities: the loss of a parent.....cancer for a family member, or causing the death of a best friend......death of a child.....death of my husband....car wrecks......loss of a grandchild.....financial reversal!! The "normal" tragedies of life, not desirable, but certainly understandable!!! That shock of that phone call had never entered my mind before. It was so upsetting that I called the doctor-on-call for my surgeon, weeping, and asking him if I could fly tonight after just coming home from surgery. I had a daughter who needed me and I wanted to get on a plane then.

Monty said absolutely not... and the next thing I knew, our daughter and her four children had round trip tickets from Denver to OKC, arriving at 11:30 p.m. Saturday (the next night)!!! Within that following 24 hour period of time we had found out that her husband had been living a lie for their whole 11 years of marriage and was not the person he pretended to be. NOT ONE OF US WHO KNEW HIM HAD A CLUE!!!! That, my friends, was never on my "Life's Difficulties" radar screen!!!

If you have read my previous blogs about Monty's heart attacks, you remember that I believe you learn in the light what you will need to live in the dark!! This was pitch black to all of us. I heard my daughter and her children wailing with me on the phone, with such horror and grief and sorrow that it was almost unbearable. I was hurting so deeply for them that I was not even aware of the pain from my surgery just 27 hours before. These grandchildren went from "we are going to go see Mimi and Poppi for a few days" to "we are moving to OK today, pack everything" in a matter of a couple of hours!!

He was a fire-fighter!! You expected that a call could happen someday that he was killed in rescuing someone else from danger, trying to save them from a fire, a burning car, etc. But none of us expected that he would be the cause of such destruction to his own family, and the many concentric circles touched by this precious family.

The questions began.....But, what about that "coming to Jesus" that was so genuine??? What is she to do....what school do we put her children in....should she divorce.....should she separate.....what about this......that.....how did we miss it???.....why??? Watching her gut-wrenching vomiting over and over, not able to sleep, can't eat, crying!!!

And, remember, we are supposed to fly to Jackson Hole for a vacation Aug 15-23!!! How could we possibly leave her and the children?? LORD, You knew this was going to happen!! Are we supposed to cancel........or were You planning for us to have that as a time to get away and pray and get prepared for walking this valley of the shadow of death with our daughter and grandchildren, who are now living with us for the next several months, at least!!?? Show us what we are to do, I prayed. And, I was finding myself coming to the realization that, yes, it was laparoscopic surgery....but it still was surgery!! He did cut into me and take out an organ that had been playing well for the past 61 years!!! For some reason, I thought it was going to be no big deal, which to me meant, I would be normal right away!! Remember, I had not had anything wrong with me ever before!!! I am a little slow!

I must rush in to say here that our three other children and their spouses have been amazingly helpful, prayerful, compassionate, sacrificial in caring for her and her children, making phone calls that had to happen, taking her places she had to go, but dreaded, getting them ready for their new school, getting clothes, loving and serving in every possible way. Not only that........but my friends have brought in food for almost two weeks now!!

So, we did come here to Jackson Hole, one week ago today. God has graced us once again in a needy time in our lives with loving, prayerful friends who are willing to bear another one of our burdens with us. (One year ago today, my mother died while we were up here with them.) We fly from here to Denver tomorrow where I will stay overnight with our other daughter and her family and then drive the van loaded with other needed things from their house, especially Jack, their beloved Rat Terrier, back home in OKC to do life in this new cycle.

I covet your prayers for healing and restoration from the devastating destruction one's choices have done to a precious, unsuspecting family.