Pray about it???

Posting, journaling, writing anything have all been an unusual struggle for me the past five months. Today, I did a lot of going back over my prayer journal and was so surprised to see how brief and ..............well.........I am not even sure how to describe it all. What comes to my mind is distant or unreal. Very unusual for me. I have journaled prayers, thoughts, reactions to God and His Word for almost 45 years, I would guess. And now it is hard??? I can't figure it out.

As you know (if you have read much of my blog over the past year), our family has undergone some changes........major ones!!! So, I know that when there are circumstantial changes sometimes habits change, too. And I guess I am finding out that writing my prayers in a journal was a habit I formed as a very young woman. I am wondering if that young woman has left this "older body"!!?? I would like to think not, but the reality is that something is very different about my quiet times and how they have always been. It is probably a good thing, but I think I miss the old me!!

I am not trying to sound as introspective and almost morose as this is, but wanting to just express my curiosity as to what has happened. Maybe it is because I have been questioned a lot recently about prayer and "why we pray" and "does it really matter" and "isn't God going to do what He is going to do" and the like!! Those questions don't bother me one bit and I really do think I have fairly sound, biblical answers for them. So........it is not that my faith in prayer is shaken as much as my style of practice has changed. I am not sure I am comfortable in my new me.

Maybe I will just pray about it!!