Through the Valley of the Shadow #5

It has been so good for me to go back and reread my journal. Thank you for listening to me share excerpts from it. There have been other things that have happened in the lives of many others since our time spent in the hospital. I fear that if I put it all in here, I would most certainly be the only one reading it, and I have already done that!! I hope this blesses and encourages others to journal, but more importantly to "trust in the LORD with all your heart, and don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him = make Christ known, and he will make your paths straight."

Mar 2, 08 (my journal)
Last night, when I was sitting in the room and thinking Monty was asleep, I heard his voice say to me …..”Do you want to pray?” How that always warms my spirit and soothes my heart!! So I got up and we held hands as he prayed something like this “Father, You are in charge of all of this. I don’t know what You want. But if I perish, I perish. I just want to do it well for your glory!! I pray for there to be healing in relationships that need it. I trust You. In Jesus’ name. Amen!”

As I have shared many times today………could I ask for anything more from You? It doesn’t get any better than that!! You have given to me my heart’s desire, a godly husband who loves You more than his very life.

Today was another eventful day, unfortunately. However, the outcome was quickly positive in the resolve of it. This time Monty was having a hard time breathing, turned very pale. The hard part was that he had said to Kaylyn and Gwyneth that he felt like he wasn’t going to make it. They came to get me as I was in the hall visiting with some friends. Very shortly all six of us were gathered there together with tears as Monty was having such a hard time. It was for us “the shadow of death” once again. But Your Word immediately came to my mind again……..though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death........... And now as I reflect back on it:...... through = you pass through it, you don’t stay in it!! I often have meditated on that, too, and that it is a valley which means there are mountains == beauty, grandeur, height……….to which the valley leads, and it is a shadow and shadows are not the real thing. The shadow of death is very different from death itself, which has no fear. Fear comes when we are going through something, but when death has occurred, it is all over. Death is not the fear for a believer, because death is the avenue to our fulfilled hope……….life with YOU, LORD Jesus.

Back to the episode, the nurses, etc. brought in the right meds, did an ECG, working very quickly and within 15 minutes he was stabilized. Being professionals, they could recognize that it was not a heart attack, even though many symptoms were the same, but that it was congestive heart failure because of the buildup of the fluids on his lungs. Since Monty had a rough night before with very little sleep, the nurse let him rest most of the morning without getting him up or sitting him up. With all of the fluids they were flushing through him, his lungs were beginning to fill up because of his shallow breathing, a result of a weakened heart. Thus, he was having congestive heart failure, another new issue. More new medicines to adjust to the litany of others already!!

So, here I was again, wondering what You were doing that was way beyond the immediate……..in the lives of many others who are watching, praying and waiting to see how You are receiving the glory due Your name. As the many people call, email, send cards and notes, bring food, etc., I am so aware that this is all for any one of them as well as for us and our immediate family. So people continued to pour out their love and concern to us with their visits.

Once they started getting the fluids out of his lungs, he was doing so much better and continued to improve through the rest of the day and night. He began feeling much better and continued to do so. They had ordered an echocardiogram that was due to be done at 12:00. Dr Ghani had prepared us that the echo would not tell us a lot we didn’t already know, but was going to give us a baseline for future ones down the road. But, they also want to see if there is any movement in the front wall of the heart to see if it is dead or not. They know that his heart has taken a big hit and that the blood supply is not being demanded by the heart to flow through the artery. They finally came to do the echo at 7:00 P.M. and told us we probably won’t hear anything until the morning.

Rachel is planning on spending the night tonight with Monty, as she has not had much alone time with him this whole week. Since she was sick so much at the first of the week, she kept going home to go to bed and get her fever down. She was running 102+ for the first few days and has been fighting back and feeling better since getting antibiotics.. And, I think the kids are worried about me because I am not getting much sleep up here and they think I need to go home and sleep.

Gracious Father, how I depend on You and praise You for the knowledge and awareness of Your Presence in the midst of all of this. I say again, glorify Yourself in me!!