I have been wondering how we came up with the term "Merry" as the adjective we most commonly use for Christmas??!! I know........kind of a lame thing to wonder about...........but , Hey!! It's my crazy brain. So, as lame as I am, I looked it up in my 1828 Noah Webster, huge, hard-back dictionary...........not on an I-Phone, etc.
"MERRY, a {Sax, mirige, myrig; Ar. to be joyful.
1. Gay and noisy; jovial' exhilarated to laughter.
Man is the merriest species of the creation.
2. Causing laughter or mirth; as a merry jest.
3. Brisk; as a merry gale. {This is the primary sense of the word.}
4. Pleasant; agreeable; delightful.
Chaucer....To make merry, to be jovial; to indulge in hilarity; to feast with mirth. Judges IX."
Well, that is something to ponder!! I don't think I have ever thought about that as my "greeting exhortation" to strangers or friends when I say to them "Merry Christmas"!! (which, by the way, I still choose to say to everyone........politically correct or not!) And now all the more since I have a fuller meaning.
Who but Christ Jesus the LORD, can bring that kind of delight to one's soul? And yet, even many who have been transferred, by His grace, from the kingdom of darkness to His marvelous Light, do not allow themselves this kind of indulging in hilarity and feasting with mirth over the birth of the Christ-Child!! Why is that?
As I take down the many nativity scenes in our home today, I will choose to continue my MERRY CHRISTmas!!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Pray about it???
Posting, journaling, writing anything have all been an unusual struggle for me the past five months. Today, I did a lot of going back over my prayer journal and was so surprised to see how brief and ..............well.........I am not even sure how to describe it all. What comes to my mind is distant or unreal. Very unusual for me. I have journaled prayers, thoughts, reactions to God and His Word for almost 45 years, I would guess. And now it is hard??? I can't figure it out.
As you know (if you have read much of my blog over the past year), our family has undergone some changes........major ones!!! So, I know that when there are circumstantial changes sometimes habits change, too. And I guess I am finding out that writing my prayers in a journal was a habit I formed as a very young woman. I am wondering if that young woman has left this "older body"!!?? I would like to think not, but the reality is that something is very different about my quiet times and how they have always been. It is probably a good thing, but I think I miss the old me!!
I am not trying to sound as introspective and almost morose as this is, but wanting to just express my curiosity as to what has happened. Maybe it is because I have been questioned a lot recently about prayer and "why we pray" and "does it really matter" and "isn't God going to do what He is going to do" and the like!! Those questions don't bother me one bit and I really do think I have fairly sound, biblical answers for them. So........it is not that my faith in prayer is shaken as much as my style of practice has changed. I am not sure I am comfortable in my new me.
Maybe I will just pray about it!!
As you know (if you have read much of my blog over the past year), our family has undergone some changes........major ones!!! So, I know that when there are circumstantial changes sometimes habits change, too. And I guess I am finding out that writing my prayers in a journal was a habit I formed as a very young woman. I am wondering if that young woman has left this "older body"!!?? I would like to think not, but the reality is that something is very different about my quiet times and how they have always been. It is probably a good thing, but I think I miss the old me!!
I am not trying to sound as introspective and almost morose as this is, but wanting to just express my curiosity as to what has happened. Maybe it is because I have been questioned a lot recently about prayer and "why we pray" and "does it really matter" and "isn't God going to do what He is going to do" and the like!! Those questions don't bother me one bit and I really do think I have fairly sound, biblical answers for them. So........it is not that my faith in prayer is shaken as much as my style of practice has changed. I am not sure I am comfortable in my new me.
Maybe I will just pray about it!!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
The Christ of Christmas
While bringing down from the attic the bins and boxes of our many years of Christmas memories of our 42 years, I had the thought......"Why? Why do I do this year in and year out for 42 years?" I have had several hours to think about this, as it is an all day affair to get everything switched from "daily" to "Nativity celebration".
And in the process of unpacking and setting up many of my collection of various "Nativity scenes" I had my own answer to my thoughtful question. I do this because "Emmanuel" ...."God with us"!! That is it!!!! Christmas is my one chance to display in a special way that God is with me!! The amazing truth of God becoming a baby boy so that I could be filled with joy!!! Why would I not want to celebrate and display such an astounding reality that has forever changed my life and given to me the hope of life everafter!!
Over the past four months, without a doubt, it has been the very Presence of God in my life that has sustained, empowered, encouraged, fulfilled me while going through the worst storm of ours lives thus far. Because God became a Man Whose name was Jesus, the Christ, emptying Himself of the right to be exalted and worshiped as God while walking this earth, and giving His life as the payment for my sins, I, having trusted Him as my LORD and Savior, have gone through this trial of life with His peace, His provisions, His strength, His grace, His Truth, His power to trust and obey.
I have praised the LORD over and over, these past four months,for not taking Monty from me earlier this year with all of his heart events (about which I have posted previously). I am so thankful for our marriage and the way that we compliment one another in times of crisis, balancing perspectives and sharing each other's pain. I know that His grace would have sustained me as a widow, but practically speaking, having Monty here to comfort and support me when I felt a bit overwhelmed and allowing me to do the same for him made the enduring of this trial more bearable.
I can only say that my heart grieves for those who miss the whole point of Christmas. I pray that this year their eyes may be enlighted to the Light of the world in such a way that each one bows the knee to Him as LORD and thus finds the joy of keeping Christ in Christmas.
And in the process of unpacking and setting up many of my collection of various "Nativity scenes" I had my own answer to my thoughtful question. I do this because "Emmanuel" ...."God with us"!! That is it!!!! Christmas is my one chance to display in a special way that God is with me!! The amazing truth of God becoming a baby boy so that I could be filled with joy!!! Why would I not want to celebrate and display such an astounding reality that has forever changed my life and given to me the hope of life everafter!!
Over the past four months, without a doubt, it has been the very Presence of God in my life that has sustained, empowered, encouraged, fulfilled me while going through the worst storm of ours lives thus far. Because God became a Man Whose name was Jesus, the Christ, emptying Himself of the right to be exalted and worshiped as God while walking this earth, and giving His life as the payment for my sins, I, having trusted Him as my LORD and Savior, have gone through this trial of life with His peace, His provisions, His strength, His grace, His Truth, His power to trust and obey.
I have praised the LORD over and over, these past four months,for not taking Monty from me earlier this year with all of his heart events (about which I have posted previously). I am so thankful for our marriage and the way that we compliment one another in times of crisis, balancing perspectives and sharing each other's pain. I know that His grace would have sustained me as a widow, but practically speaking, having Monty here to comfort and support me when I felt a bit overwhelmed and allowing me to do the same for him made the enduring of this trial more bearable.
I can only say that my heart grieves for those who miss the whole point of Christmas. I pray that this year their eyes may be enlighted to the Light of the world in such a way that each one bows the knee to Him as LORD and thus finds the joy of keeping Christ in Christmas.
Monday, September 22, 2008
The Seeking Heart
Yesterday I was in a situation that I have described as "awkward, hard" to those who have asked me how it went. I had to be with someone for several hours with whom the LORD restrained my communication. I know this sounds a bit vague, but that is because I am choosing to be. The past several weeks our family has been going through some life adjustments, causing all of us to find ourselves in difficult places. At some point in the future I might share the first drafts I have written (but not posted) as I have gone through this. But, for now, I wanted to share what the LORD taught me yesterday.
It was not until late last night, when everyone was asleep, that I could finally sit down to journal and listen to Him explain to me the "audible thoughts" he was giving to me all day. {If you have walked with the LORD any length of time, you, no doubt, have also had "audible thoughts" from Him.} Throughout the day when this person would make a comment which did not necessarily require a response, but was surely inviting one, I found myself unusually unresponsive. With the spiritual gift of exhortation that the LORD has given to me, it is usual that He would bring to my mind a verse of Scripture or Biblical precept to share with a hurting person or one who has offended.
But, yesterday, when those "audible thoughts" would come to my mind, I would ask the LORD if I should speak them to the person, or were they just for me to know. All day long, He restrained me from speaking them. Over and over I asked Him if I should share what I was thinking. Each time, I just felt led to pray that He would speak to the person and share those same insights in His timing. It was, as I said....."awkward and hard".
Then last night I picked up a book I had not read for several years, that I pulled out about two months ago, called The Seeking Heart by Fenelon, written in the 17th century. I opened up to a page that was what God was wanting to teach me. I will share the excerpts that He used to explain what He was doing in my own life through those awkward hours.
The page was entitled “Dealing With Offenses”. The parts that really spoke to me were these:
You really need the Spirit of God to give you strength in your trials. His Spirit will hold back the overpowering nature of your natural strength……. God always attacks your weak side. When God aims to kill your old self nature, He touches the tenderest spot—the spot full of life!! This is why He gives you the kinds of trials that He does.
Allow yourself to be humbled. If you are silent and peaceful when humiliating things happen to you, you will grow in grace. I realize that you will be tempted to defend yourself for a thousand different reasons. But it is far better to be humbly silent. Humility that can still talk needs to be carefully watched. You will comfort yourself too much when you speak out.
Don’t be upset when things are said about you. Let the world talk; just seek to do the will of God …..Silent peace and sweet fellowship with God will repay you for every evil word spoken against you. People will come and go—let them do as they please. See only God. He is the One that afflicts or comforts you through people and circumstances. He does this for your benefit.
By the end of my time with LORD late into the night, I knew that I wanted that "Seeking Heart" that waited upon Him. This morning in my quiet time I came across a great verse in Isa 30:18....The LORD waits to be gracious to you, and He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who wait for Him. A note I had written beside it said... wait for = look, long, love, live for!!
It was not until late last night, when everyone was asleep, that I could finally sit down to journal and listen to Him explain to me the "audible thoughts" he was giving to me all day. {If you have walked with the LORD any length of time, you, no doubt, have also had "audible thoughts" from Him.} Throughout the day when this person would make a comment which did not necessarily require a response, but was surely inviting one, I found myself unusually unresponsive. With the spiritual gift of exhortation that the LORD has given to me, it is usual that He would bring to my mind a verse of Scripture or Biblical precept to share with a hurting person or one who has offended.
But, yesterday, when those "audible thoughts" would come to my mind, I would ask the LORD if I should speak them to the person, or were they just for me to know. All day long, He restrained me from speaking them. Over and over I asked Him if I should share what I was thinking. Each time, I just felt led to pray that He would speak to the person and share those same insights in His timing. It was, as I said....."awkward and hard".
Then last night I picked up a book I had not read for several years, that I pulled out about two months ago, called The Seeking Heart by Fenelon, written in the 17th century. I opened up to a page that was what God was wanting to teach me. I will share the excerpts that He used to explain what He was doing in my own life through those awkward hours.
The page was entitled “Dealing With Offenses”. The parts that really spoke to me were these:
You really need the Spirit of God to give you strength in your trials. His Spirit will hold back the overpowering nature of your natural strength……. God always attacks your weak side. When God aims to kill your old self nature, He touches the tenderest spot—the spot full of life!! This is why He gives you the kinds of trials that He does.
Allow yourself to be humbled. If you are silent and peaceful when humiliating things happen to you, you will grow in grace. I realize that you will be tempted to defend yourself for a thousand different reasons. But it is far better to be humbly silent. Humility that can still talk needs to be carefully watched. You will comfort yourself too much when you speak out.
Don’t be upset when things are said about you. Let the world talk; just seek to do the will of God …..Silent peace and sweet fellowship with God will repay you for every evil word spoken against you. People will come and go—let them do as they please. See only God. He is the One that afflicts or comforts you through people and circumstances. He does this for your benefit.
By the end of my time with LORD late into the night, I knew that I wanted that "Seeking Heart" that waited upon Him. This morning in my quiet time I came across a great verse in Isa 30:18....The LORD waits to be gracious to you, and He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who wait for Him. A note I had written beside it said... wait for = look, long, love, live for!!
Friday, August 22, 2008
Cycles of Life
This post definitely is going to be one of my more difficult writings. I am having a hard time sorting out my racing thoughts, editing what to write and what not to write. Even knowing how to start has been difficult for me because of the many contrasting thoughts. I think I am just going to take the plunge and then maybe save drafts before publishing..........we'll see.
As you can see there has been over a month gap in my postings. That is because of various circumstances that have crashed into my life. I am not really sure that the seemingly important things, at the time, in July are now worthy of blog space. So I guess I have decided to eliminate all of those swirling thoughts and go to Aug 6, when I met with a surgeon who confirmed that I needed to have my gall bladder removed from the premises of my body. When I tried to tell him my dilemma... that I was planning to be gone Aug 15-23 to Jackson Hole, WY, and was wondering whether it needed to be done before, or could it wait????.....he offered to go into his office and look into his crystal ball to see if I would experience a sudden burst of pain while in the air and need emergency surgery.......!!!! To that I replied that was exactly what I was paying him the big bucks to do (I have $2500 deductible insurance which I will more than reach in the cost of all of this)!! So after the chuckles died down, I asked him what he was doing on Friday, Aug 8th!!! I suddenly felt compelled that I was to do this immediately. It was not an audible voice from the LORD, but I knew He was leading me to do this right away.
So, it all happened two days later...........At 8:30 a.m.,I entered the out patient surgery center for my first experience of any medical treatment with an anesthesia since I had my tonsils removed when I was 6!! I had not been in a hospital since my last baby was born 33 years ago! And I didn't even have an IV with her then!! And, by 5:00 p.m., I was walking into my house, minus one small body organ. I lay down on the bed and the phone rang!!!
That call led me into the darkest trial of our family's lives thus far. I say that because on my radar screen were only "real life" possibilities: the loss of a parent.....cancer for a family member, or causing the death of a best friend......death of a child.....death of my husband....car wrecks......loss of a grandchild.....financial reversal!! The "normal" tragedies of life, not desirable, but certainly understandable!!! That shock of that phone call had never entered my mind before. It was so upsetting that I called the doctor-on-call for my surgeon, weeping, and asking him if I could fly tonight after just coming home from surgery. I had a daughter who needed me and I wanted to get on a plane then.
Monty said absolutely not... and the next thing I knew, our daughter and her four children had round trip tickets from Denver to OKC, arriving at 11:30 p.m. Saturday (the next night)!!! Within that following 24 hour period of time we had found out that her husband had been living a lie for their whole 11 years of marriage and was not the person he pretended to be. NOT ONE OF US WHO KNEW HIM HAD A CLUE!!!! That, my friends, was never on my "Life's Difficulties" radar screen!!!
If you have read my previous blogs about Monty's heart attacks, you remember that I believe you learn in the light what you will need to live in the dark!! This was pitch black to all of us. I heard my daughter and her children wailing with me on the phone, with such horror and grief and sorrow that it was almost unbearable. I was hurting so deeply for them that I was not even aware of the pain from my surgery just 27 hours before. These grandchildren went from "we are going to go see Mimi and Poppi for a few days" to "we are moving to OK today, pack everything" in a matter of a couple of hours!!
He was a fire-fighter!! You expected that a call could happen someday that he was killed in rescuing someone else from danger, trying to save them from a fire, a burning car, etc. But none of us expected that he would be the cause of such destruction to his own family, and the many concentric circles touched by this precious family.
The questions began.....But, what about that "coming to Jesus" that was so genuine??? What is she to do....what school do we put her children in....should she divorce.....should she separate.....what about this......that.....how did we miss it???.....why??? Watching her gut-wrenching vomiting over and over, not able to sleep, can't eat, crying!!!
And, remember, we are supposed to fly to Jackson Hole for a vacation Aug 15-23!!! How could we possibly leave her and the children?? LORD, You knew this was going to happen!! Are we supposed to cancel........or were You planning for us to have that as a time to get away and pray and get prepared for walking this valley of the shadow of death with our daughter and grandchildren, who are now living with us for the next several months, at least!!?? Show us what we are to do, I prayed. And, I was finding myself coming to the realization that, yes, it was laparoscopic surgery....but it still was surgery!! He did cut into me and take out an organ that had been playing well for the past 61 years!!! For some reason, I thought it was going to be no big deal, which to me meant, I would be normal right away!! Remember, I had not had anything wrong with me ever before!!! I am a little slow!
I must rush in to say here that our three other children and their spouses have been amazingly helpful, prayerful, compassionate, sacrificial in caring for her and her children, making phone calls that had to happen, taking her places she had to go, but dreaded, getting them ready for their new school, getting clothes, loving and serving in every possible way. Not only that........but my friends have brought in food for almost two weeks now!!
So, we did come here to Jackson Hole, one week ago today. God has graced us once again in a needy time in our lives with loving, prayerful friends who are willing to bear another one of our burdens with us. (One year ago today, my mother died while we were up here with them.) We fly from here to Denver tomorrow where I will stay overnight with our other daughter and her family and then drive the van loaded with other needed things from their house, especially Jack, their beloved Rat Terrier, back home in OKC to do life in this new cycle.
I covet your prayers for healing and restoration from the devastating destruction one's choices have done to a precious, unsuspecting family.
As you can see there has been over a month gap in my postings. That is because of various circumstances that have crashed into my life. I am not really sure that the seemingly important things, at the time, in July are now worthy of blog space. So I guess I have decided to eliminate all of those swirling thoughts and go to Aug 6, when I met with a surgeon who confirmed that I needed to have my gall bladder removed from the premises of my body. When I tried to tell him my dilemma... that I was planning to be gone Aug 15-23 to Jackson Hole, WY, and was wondering whether it needed to be done before, or could it wait????.....he offered to go into his office and look into his crystal ball to see if I would experience a sudden burst of pain while in the air and need emergency surgery.......!!!! To that I replied that was exactly what I was paying him the big bucks to do (I have $2500 deductible insurance which I will more than reach in the cost of all of this)!! So after the chuckles died down, I asked him what he was doing on Friday, Aug 8th!!! I suddenly felt compelled that I was to do this immediately. It was not an audible voice from the LORD, but I knew He was leading me to do this right away.
So, it all happened two days later...........At 8:30 a.m.,I entered the out patient surgery center for my first experience of any medical treatment with an anesthesia since I had my tonsils removed when I was 6!! I had not been in a hospital since my last baby was born 33 years ago! And I didn't even have an IV with her then!! And, by 5:00 p.m., I was walking into my house, minus one small body organ. I lay down on the bed and the phone rang!!!
That call led me into the darkest trial of our family's lives thus far. I say that because on my radar screen were only "real life" possibilities: the loss of a parent.....cancer for a family member, or causing the death of a best friend......death of a child.....death of my husband....car wrecks......loss of a grandchild.....financial reversal!! The "normal" tragedies of life, not desirable, but certainly understandable!!! That shock of that phone call had never entered my mind before. It was so upsetting that I called the doctor-on-call for my surgeon, weeping, and asking him if I could fly tonight after just coming home from surgery. I had a daughter who needed me and I wanted to get on a plane then.
Monty said absolutely not... and the next thing I knew, our daughter and her four children had round trip tickets from Denver to OKC, arriving at 11:30 p.m. Saturday (the next night)!!! Within that following 24 hour period of time we had found out that her husband had been living a lie for their whole 11 years of marriage and was not the person he pretended to be. NOT ONE OF US WHO KNEW HIM HAD A CLUE!!!! That, my friends, was never on my "Life's Difficulties" radar screen!!!
If you have read my previous blogs about Monty's heart attacks, you remember that I believe you learn in the light what you will need to live in the dark!! This was pitch black to all of us. I heard my daughter and her children wailing with me on the phone, with such horror and grief and sorrow that it was almost unbearable. I was hurting so deeply for them that I was not even aware of the pain from my surgery just 27 hours before. These grandchildren went from "we are going to go see Mimi and Poppi for a few days" to "we are moving to OK today, pack everything" in a matter of a couple of hours!!
He was a fire-fighter!! You expected that a call could happen someday that he was killed in rescuing someone else from danger, trying to save them from a fire, a burning car, etc. But none of us expected that he would be the cause of such destruction to his own family, and the many concentric circles touched by this precious family.
The questions began.....But, what about that "coming to Jesus" that was so genuine??? What is she to do....what school do we put her children in....should she divorce.....should she separate.....what about this......that.....how did we miss it???.....why??? Watching her gut-wrenching vomiting over and over, not able to sleep, can't eat, crying!!!
And, remember, we are supposed to fly to Jackson Hole for a vacation Aug 15-23!!! How could we possibly leave her and the children?? LORD, You knew this was going to happen!! Are we supposed to cancel........or were You planning for us to have that as a time to get away and pray and get prepared for walking this valley of the shadow of death with our daughter and grandchildren, who are now living with us for the next several months, at least!!?? Show us what we are to do, I prayed. And, I was finding myself coming to the realization that, yes, it was laparoscopic surgery....but it still was surgery!! He did cut into me and take out an organ that had been playing well for the past 61 years!!! For some reason, I thought it was going to be no big deal, which to me meant, I would be normal right away!! Remember, I had not had anything wrong with me ever before!!! I am a little slow!
I must rush in to say here that our three other children and their spouses have been amazingly helpful, prayerful, compassionate, sacrificial in caring for her and her children, making phone calls that had to happen, taking her places she had to go, but dreaded, getting them ready for their new school, getting clothes, loving and serving in every possible way. Not only that........but my friends have brought in food for almost two weeks now!!
So, we did come here to Jackson Hole, one week ago today. God has graced us once again in a needy time in our lives with loving, prayerful friends who are willing to bear another one of our burdens with us. (One year ago today, my mother died while we were up here with them.) We fly from here to Denver tomorrow where I will stay overnight with our other daughter and her family and then drive the van loaded with other needed things from their house, especially Jack, their beloved Rat Terrier, back home in OKC to do life in this new cycle.
I covet your prayers for healing and restoration from the devastating destruction one's choices have done to a precious, unsuspecting family.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
To Exercise or Not To...that is the question???!!!
Do you wonder sometimes if that exercise push is all that it is cracked up to be? I do, now that I am in my sixth decade and things don't move as easily as they used to. And I used to move things a lot when I was younger. I guess I am suspicious of it all now since I am beginning to have things other people have who have never worked out. Not that I felt like I was going to beat all odds and not have physical difficulties at some point in life....but I guess I am just surprised that it is upon me this "young".
I really know I shouldn't complain, as I have been very blessed with excellent health all of these years. And when I went in for an ultrasound this morning on my gall bladder, the technician reminded me of that when she asked me about the last time I was hospitalized. I said it was 33 years ago when my fourth child was born. She was shocked and said that I was definitely the exception. It's just that I am not in the same shape I used to be in and don't have the where-with-all to get it back again.
Walking and doing 450 crunches with my ab bar 3-4 times a week, just doesn't seem to cut it anymore. So, I wonder, do I stay in the battle of buffeting my body, as Paul talks about and listen to his counsel in 1 Tim that bodily exercise profits very little. I thought I was obeying the Word, but I think I have been deceived by those Paul warns us to avoid in Col 2:20-22 "You have died with Christ, and He has set you free from the evil powers of this world. SO why do you keep on following rules of the world, such as, 'Don't handle, don't ea, don't touch.' Such rules are mere human teaching about things that are gone as soon as we use them."
But verse 23 says...."These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, humility, and severe bodily discipline. But they have no effect when it come to conquering a person's evil thoughts and desires."
Well, there it is! I just answered my own questions. I don't exercise to get rid of my evil thoughts and desires...........but I do need to exercise for the purpose of strong devotion, humility and severe bodily discipline. Okay.........so now that I have worked that one out in my mind and heart, I guess I will get on my walking shoes and go for it........and get back into the routine of buffeting my body!!
I really know I shouldn't complain, as I have been very blessed with excellent health all of these years. And when I went in for an ultrasound this morning on my gall bladder, the technician reminded me of that when she asked me about the last time I was hospitalized. I said it was 33 years ago when my fourth child was born. She was shocked and said that I was definitely the exception. It's just that I am not in the same shape I used to be in and don't have the where-with-all to get it back again.
Walking and doing 450 crunches with my ab bar 3-4 times a week, just doesn't seem to cut it anymore. So, I wonder, do I stay in the battle of buffeting my body, as Paul talks about and listen to his counsel in 1 Tim that bodily exercise profits very little. I thought I was obeying the Word, but I think I have been deceived by those Paul warns us to avoid in Col 2:20-22 "You have died with Christ, and He has set you free from the evil powers of this world. SO why do you keep on following rules of the world, such as, 'Don't handle, don't ea, don't touch.' Such rules are mere human teaching about things that are gone as soon as we use them."
But verse 23 says...."These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, humility, and severe bodily discipline. But they have no effect when it come to conquering a person's evil thoughts and desires."
Well, there it is! I just answered my own questions. I don't exercise to get rid of my evil thoughts and desires...........but I do need to exercise for the purpose of strong devotion, humility and severe bodily discipline. Okay.........so now that I have worked that one out in my mind and heart, I guess I will get on my walking shoes and go for it........and get back into the routine of buffeting my body!!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Mimi in Real Life
It seems that "posting time" has taken a back seat for me.........by back seat, I mean in a 15-passenger van!! There could be many reasons for my lack of creativity in expressing what has been transpiring in my tiny world, not the least of which is time management. I manage what little time there is left for me lately with trying to finish a book that has captured my interest more than my desire to post on my blog.
We (Monty and I, known here as Poppi and Mimi) are in Lakewood, CO with four of our grandchildren while their parents are on a much needed vacation in GA with friends on their annual trip to the Chattahoochee River.
Ryan,8(girl), Micah,6 1/2(boy), Addie, 5 next month(girl), and Presley, 3 1/2(girl) are managing my time more this week than I am. It has been a reminder of how much Mamas and Daddys need prayer for the awesome task that is at hand. Shaping the lives of children, which is what goes on in a home whether it is intentional or unintentional, is full time and has tremendous implications. Only God can give the wisdom, strength, endurance, joy and peace that is needed to do this job well.
When I was doing this same job in a full-time capacity many moons ago, I remember thinking (to myself.....I didn't dare say it out loud) that Jesus didn't really know what it was like to be a Mama......you know, tempted in all points like we are!!! But, in His still small voice that I had come to know so well, He reminded me of the 12 "children" He trained, not the least of which was rebellious Judas Iscariot, and the sons of thunder who wrangled about who was the best and should be seated in the best place!!! And those were adults, acting like children!! That had to be really hard!! At least these children are acting their ages.
It really has been a good week for us, aside from the two hottest days of the year without AC in the house!!! SO, we spent the afternoon today in a mall to kill the hottest part of another hot day inside with air-condtioning. Some would say that is demented, taking four children to walk around a mall for three hours, but they don't know us!!! There it was!! Our salvation..... a booth that wanted to take their photo for the bargain price of $20 for an 11x14. They had us when they said they had old-fashioned costumes the children could wear with all of the hats, parasols, caps and bats, necklaces, etc.. You mean they can play "dress-up" and kill some more time in AC? You bet we will spend the $20! Who wouldn't?? (That was a much better deal than the silly Merry-Go-Round there for $8 for a three minute dizzy-maker-ride!!)
Going through the dresses for the girls and the shirts, vests and caps for Micah, and adding all of the accessories made it all worthwhile. And thanks to technology, we were able to see that there was not one good shot of them!!! So we got our money back....sad for them....glad for us!! (Ty and Kaylyn would never have put that 11x14 up in their home, not even in the laundry room in the basement!!!)And we killed enough time to allow us now to head to the "dining in facilities" (also know as the Food Court)for expert mall culinary cuisine!!!
So, now for those of you who have endured this stab at "bringing you into my world", just let me know if you need any other suggestions for perfect grandparenting!!
We (Monty and I, known here as Poppi and Mimi) are in Lakewood, CO with four of our grandchildren while their parents are on a much needed vacation in GA with friends on their annual trip to the Chattahoochee River.
Ryan,8(girl), Micah,6 1/2(boy), Addie, 5 next month(girl), and Presley, 3 1/2(girl) are managing my time more this week than I am. It has been a reminder of how much Mamas and Daddys need prayer for the awesome task that is at hand. Shaping the lives of children, which is what goes on in a home whether it is intentional or unintentional, is full time and has tremendous implications. Only God can give the wisdom, strength, endurance, joy and peace that is needed to do this job well.
When I was doing this same job in a full-time capacity many moons ago, I remember thinking (to myself.....I didn't dare say it out loud) that Jesus didn't really know what it was like to be a Mama......you know, tempted in all points like we are!!! But, in His still small voice that I had come to know so well, He reminded me of the 12 "children" He trained, not the least of which was rebellious Judas Iscariot, and the sons of thunder who wrangled about who was the best and should be seated in the best place!!! And those were adults, acting like children!! That had to be really hard!! At least these children are acting their ages.
It really has been a good week for us, aside from the two hottest days of the year without AC in the house!!! SO, we spent the afternoon today in a mall to kill the hottest part of another hot day inside with air-condtioning. Some would say that is demented, taking four children to walk around a mall for three hours, but they don't know us!!! There it was!! Our salvation..... a booth that wanted to take their photo for the bargain price of $20 for an 11x14. They had us when they said they had old-fashioned costumes the children could wear with all of the hats, parasols, caps and bats, necklaces, etc.. You mean they can play "dress-up" and kill some more time in AC? You bet we will spend the $20! Who wouldn't?? (That was a much better deal than the silly Merry-Go-Round there for $8 for a three minute dizzy-maker-ride!!)
Going through the dresses for the girls and the shirts, vests and caps for Micah, and adding all of the accessories made it all worthwhile. And thanks to technology, we were able to see that there was not one good shot of them!!! So we got our money back....sad for them....glad for us!! (Ty and Kaylyn would never have put that 11x14 up in their home, not even in the laundry room in the basement!!!)And we killed enough time to allow us now to head to the "dining in facilities" (also know as the Food Court)for expert mall culinary cuisine!!!
So, now for those of you who have endured this stab at "bringing you into my world", just let me know if you need any other suggestions for perfect grandparenting!!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Above and Beyond
Thinking back over the past couple of weeks since my last post, so much has happened that I hardly know where to begin on this post. First I think I need to share how the week at Frontier Ranch ended.
On our last day there, after we drove some go carts around a track, Monty mentioned that he wanted to rappel down the mountain that Nick, Rachel and I had done the day before. The one hitch about that idea was the climb up he would have to do in order to rappel down the 125 foot cliff!!! The camp doctor, who was at the track, told me that if he had chest pains and needed nitro, to come back down and not finish the hike. He asked if he had a fear of heights, to which I responded with a grin that he used to be a super-sonic jet pilot!!! No problem with heights!
The short story...........he did it!!! That is how "above and beyond all that we could ask or imagine" God has answered our prayers for him only four months before. He was so thrilled as he, Rachel and I rappelled down together!
The next cool God-thing......at the ledge below was a young man from Central Denver for whom I had been praying all week. He had been in a near fatal accident only 11 months before which left him brain dead for 12 hours, in a coma for 16 days and having to learn to talk, eat, use the bathroom and everything else. And here he was at Frontier Ranch, hearing how God has been extravagantly pursuing him since the day he was born. He said he is not ready to trust the LORD because of what happened to him. And yet he trust a rope and a carabineer on the side of a cliff. I continue to pray for him and thank God that He allowed me the privilege of putting a face with a name. What a blessing that was for me.
That evening in the final club time, they had a "Say So" time where probably a third of those students stood to tell the rest that they had chosen to follow Jesus the rest of their lives. Only the LORD knows what He is going to do in those young people's lives. How blessed we were to be there to see Him at work, transferring students from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of His marvelous Light!!!
On our last day there, after we drove some go carts around a track, Monty mentioned that he wanted to rappel down the mountain that Nick, Rachel and I had done the day before. The one hitch about that idea was the climb up he would have to do in order to rappel down the 125 foot cliff!!! The camp doctor, who was at the track, told me that if he had chest pains and needed nitro, to come back down and not finish the hike. He asked if he had a fear of heights, to which I responded with a grin that he used to be a super-sonic jet pilot!!! No problem with heights!
The short story...........he did it!!! That is how "above and beyond all that we could ask or imagine" God has answered our prayers for him only four months before. He was so thrilled as he, Rachel and I rappelled down together!
The next cool God-thing......at the ledge below was a young man from Central Denver for whom I had been praying all week. He had been in a near fatal accident only 11 months before which left him brain dead for 12 hours, in a coma for 16 days and having to learn to talk, eat, use the bathroom and everything else. And here he was at Frontier Ranch, hearing how God has been extravagantly pursuing him since the day he was born. He said he is not ready to trust the LORD because of what happened to him. And yet he trust a rope and a carabineer on the side of a cliff. I continue to pray for him and thank God that He allowed me the privilege of putting a face with a name. What a blessing that was for me.
That evening in the final club time, they had a "Say So" time where probably a third of those students stood to tell the rest that they had chosen to follow Jesus the rest of their lives. Only the LORD knows what He is going to do in those young people's lives. How blessed we were to be there to see Him at work, transferring students from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of His marvelous Light!!!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Frontier Ranch
Monty and I are enjoying the majesty of the collegiate peaks of Colorado outside of Buena Vista at the Young Life Frontier Ranch. We came up here with Nick and Rachel (our son-in-love and daughter)as "adult guests" to observe what happens at a Young Life camp for high school students. They are maxed out serving 503 of us this week, which is more than capacity for them. This place is a well-oiled machine where unchurched kids are loved and served to the fullest to show them Jesus and what He can do in their broken lives. They have been doing this here since 1951, with great old photos all over the place to prove it!!
If you are looking for a place to send your student who might not be so sure about Jesus and His pursuit of him/her, OR......if your student already has a walk with Jesus, but just needs to be with other Christian kids in a serve-others-for-Jesus setting, then you probably should go to the Young Life website and peruse to your heart's content. There is work for college-aged or high-schoolers in any number of capacities.
When I was 16 years old, I came to a YL camp up here in at another ranch just down the side of this mountain. It was a great experience for me to see many of my friends come to faith in Jesus because of the way they were loved for a week by these "strangers" who had no reason to serve them like they did. That was a long time ago, and this week has been so nostalgic for me to think back to what I saw happen in kids' lives. And now to be here and to be the one praying for God to work in the 476 students who are campers from Knoxville,TN, Northern CO, MO, TX, and Central Denver as well as some special needs campers in Capernaum . This week, God could change the course of their lives, from brokenness to wholeness in Him.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Greatest lessons I have learned
This title is not an original one; in fact it came from a book by that name that was compiled by Bill Bright, founder of Campus Crusade for Christ. I have had that book for several years, but had never read all of the stories in it until recently. On my walks in the neighborhood with Monty, I have been reading these interesting accounts of many people(some well-known in Christian circles and some not so well-known)and their "greatest lesson learned".
"How would you answer that question?" I asked myself!! And I would ask you that, as well. For me, I think I came up with two that have impacted me the most. Without going into the details of "how" I learned the lessons, (as was done in the book)I just want to cut to the chase and say "what" they are.
They both came very close to the same time in my Christian life, several years ago, and have certainly been the most impacting since becoming a follower of Jesus nearly a lifetime ago, it would seem. The first was that "I do not have to live the Christian life!" Christ is the only One Who can and by His amazing grace, He chooses to do that through me by His Spirit. I realized, after years of trying to "do all of the right things as a believer" that God's program is not a "do-it-yourself" or self-improvement course of following all of the rules and regulations of the Law. But, rather it is God Who is at work in me both to will and to do His good pleasure. Phil 2:13.
There are many great writings that explain how that all happens far better than I could in this brief post. And that is true also for the second great lesson I have learned and loved living.
IT is the sovereignty of God. I remember wrestling in my spirit with the LORD about this because my finite mind just could not put it all together. SO, one year when I was choosing my topic for the year in reading through the Bible, I picked "sovereignty" as the doctrine I would look for and mark!!! I was blown away at the end of that year when I went back through the version I used that year and saw how many times I had written "Sov" in the margins. I would say that it was on nearly every page.............at least once!!! I LOVED IT!!! And, I have loved it and lived it ever since.
I am redoing a study I did many years ago by Jerry Bridges, who was with the Navigators Ministry in Colorado for many years, called Trusting God. Both, the book and the study guide, are excellent and I highly recommend them if you are struggling or have struggled with the issue of His sovereignty. Give yourself a treat, and dive into this wonderful doctrine, if you have not done so by now. It is a great place to live and to love........God and others!!!
"How would you answer that question?" I asked myself!! And I would ask you that, as well. For me, I think I came up with two that have impacted me the most. Without going into the details of "how" I learned the lessons, (as was done in the book)I just want to cut to the chase and say "what" they are.
They both came very close to the same time in my Christian life, several years ago, and have certainly been the most impacting since becoming a follower of Jesus nearly a lifetime ago, it would seem. The first was that "I do not have to live the Christian life!" Christ is the only One Who can and by His amazing grace, He chooses to do that through me by His Spirit. I realized, after years of trying to "do all of the right things as a believer" that God's program is not a "do-it-yourself" or self-improvement course of following all of the rules and regulations of the Law. But, rather it is God Who is at work in me both to will and to do His good pleasure. Phil 2:13.
There are many great writings that explain how that all happens far better than I could in this brief post. And that is true also for the second great lesson I have learned and loved living.
IT is the sovereignty of God. I remember wrestling in my spirit with the LORD about this because my finite mind just could not put it all together. SO, one year when I was choosing my topic for the year in reading through the Bible, I picked "sovereignty" as the doctrine I would look for and mark!!! I was blown away at the end of that year when I went back through the version I used that year and saw how many times I had written "Sov" in the margins. I would say that it was on nearly every page.............at least once!!! I LOVED IT!!! And, I have loved it and lived it ever since.
I am redoing a study I did many years ago by Jerry Bridges, who was with the Navigators Ministry in Colorado for many years, called Trusting God. Both, the book and the study guide, are excellent and I highly recommend them if you are struggling or have struggled with the issue of His sovereignty. Give yourself a treat, and dive into this wonderful doctrine, if you have not done so by now. It is a great place to live and to love........God and others!!!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
End of Trial
I titled this "End of Trial" because in one sense it would seem that we have just experienced that "End" with the visit with the cardiologist a couple of days ago to hear the results of recent tests. With a big smile on his face, Dr. Kerns delightedly informed us of the good news that Monty has recovered exceptionally well.
The medical terms are: 1)his ejection fraction of the heart is at 45% (which was at 30% after his second heart attack)!!! That is really a lot better than he thought it would be and to put it in perspective, normal is not 100%, as one would expect, but rather 55%!! The Dr was pleasantly surprised with that. He said that it was because of prayer that Monty's is so good!! AMEN to that!!
2) Having gained as much as that 10-15% means that he won't need a defibrillator, which is good news.
3)He also is not at risk for major fatal heart rhythm problems.
4)The echo cardiogram and PET Scan did show that 20% of the heart muscle is dead and that he has about 70% usage of his heart.
5)His kidney levels (creatinine) have come down from the high point and seem to have leveled off...........still a bit high, but not requiring more serious treatment. He has 30% function of his kidneys. The left kidney does have some stones and the right one has cysts. They are still a "wait and see" thing.
6)He is now able to have some reductions in the medications made, hoping to continue that down to a minimal amount.
So, you, too, may offer your praises and thanksgiving to the LORD for His amazing power and how He encourages with such amazing answers to prayers.... going beyond what we could ask or think. (Eph 3:20)
So thus, life begins to move along with more normalcy as this immediate trial has seemingly come to an end. We just now live life with a little bit better perspective and different lifestyle (heart-healthy eating ALL the time)!!
The medical terms are: 1)his ejection fraction of the heart is at 45% (which was at 30% after his second heart attack)!!! That is really a lot better than he thought it would be and to put it in perspective, normal is not 100%, as one would expect, but rather 55%!! The Dr was pleasantly surprised with that. He said that it was because of prayer that Monty's is so good!! AMEN to that!!
2) Having gained as much as that 10-15% means that he won't need a defibrillator, which is good news.
3)He also is not at risk for major fatal heart rhythm problems.
4)The echo cardiogram and PET Scan did show that 20% of the heart muscle is dead and that he has about 70% usage of his heart.
5)His kidney levels (creatinine) have come down from the high point and seem to have leveled off...........still a bit high, but not requiring more serious treatment. He has 30% function of his kidneys. The left kidney does have some stones and the right one has cysts. They are still a "wait and see" thing.
6)He is now able to have some reductions in the medications made, hoping to continue that down to a minimal amount.
So, you, too, may offer your praises and thanksgiving to the LORD for His amazing power and how He encourages with such amazing answers to prayers.... going beyond what we could ask or think. (Eph 3:20)
So thus, life begins to move along with more normalcy as this immediate trial has seemingly come to an end. We just now live life with a little bit better perspective and different lifestyle (heart-healthy eating ALL the time)!!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Trusting God
Last night I was privileged to sit in on an interesting discussion about "Trusting God". Truly, conversations like that are "holy" moments, times of sanctuary = "set apart" times for reflection and soul-searching. So often our conversations are so frivolous and shallow, really without much thought or eternal value, even, dare I say, sinful???!!! By that I mean, not "holy", nor edifying, nor glorifying to God and His character.
As I thought about all of this, in the wee hours of the morning when the thunder jolted me from my dead sleep, a reminder of a lesson I learned years ago through a near-death car wreck. Shortly after we had arrived home from CA.......which is where we were headed when we had the wreck in AZ, having been left for dead by a "hit-and-run" 18-wheeler....I found myself, sitting with my journal in hand, asking the LORD to teach me about trusting Him more fully and how will I know what is important and what is not!!! In a non-audible voice, He spoke to me. (Now please, don't freak out....I am not talking about latter day revelations or visions, but just that still small voice of my Shepherd lovingly guiding me into His way of the green pastures!!)
Anyway, two questions came to my mind that would help me to know whether what i was doing was of Him (and thus important) or of self (and not so important). 1)Does this glorify God? and 2) Will this last forever? If the answer to one or both is "No"... then why do it?
So, I began to ask myself those questions about almost everything I was doing. "What about cleaning toilets?" "What about doing laundry?" "How about exercising?" and on and on it went for me. How do I answer those questions with the mundane? Well, in this whole "trusting God" issue the topic of obedience came up and how it relates to trusting God, glorifying Him, etc. And it was suggested that it is a matter of the heart. So, yes, cleaning toilets, doing laundry, exercising, witnessing or even journaling can glorify Him and thus last forever!! His glory is forever and we get to participate in that as we trust and obey!! What a privilege!!
As I thought about all of this, in the wee hours of the morning when the thunder jolted me from my dead sleep, a reminder of a lesson I learned years ago through a near-death car wreck. Shortly after we had arrived home from CA.......which is where we were headed when we had the wreck in AZ, having been left for dead by a "hit-and-run" 18-wheeler....I found myself, sitting with my journal in hand, asking the LORD to teach me about trusting Him more fully and how will I know what is important and what is not!!! In a non-audible voice, He spoke to me. (Now please, don't freak out....I am not talking about latter day revelations or visions, but just that still small voice of my Shepherd lovingly guiding me into His way of the green pastures!!)
Anyway, two questions came to my mind that would help me to know whether what i was doing was of Him (and thus important) or of self (and not so important). 1)Does this glorify God? and 2) Will this last forever? If the answer to one or both is "No"... then why do it?
So, I began to ask myself those questions about almost everything I was doing. "What about cleaning toilets?" "What about doing laundry?" "How about exercising?" and on and on it went for me. How do I answer those questions with the mundane? Well, in this whole "trusting God" issue the topic of obedience came up and how it relates to trusting God, glorifying Him, etc. And it was suggested that it is a matter of the heart. So, yes, cleaning toilets, doing laundry, exercising, witnessing or even journaling can glorify Him and thus last forever!! His glory is forever and we get to participate in that as we trust and obey!! What a privilege!!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Expelled
THE MOVIE EXPELLED
Evolution is a FACT, there is not a shred of evidence for intelligent design, a total incompatibility between God and science, It could be that life (by Darwinian means) could have “designed” a form of life that was “seeded”…you might find a sign of some “design . . .” Richard Dawkins
Some assorted quotes from the movie “EXPELLED” follow (as best as remembered): Creation of the earth= Lighting and the energy “managed to arrange” molecules for the primordial soup. Molecules “piggybacked” onto crystals and opened the way for natural selection from simple to complex….and a chance for life to arise on its own. Religion is the cause of all terrorism. The teaching of Intelligent Design would stunt educational growth. Why should we eliminate a possible Creator? What about academic freedom? If you want a piece of the pie you must be a good comrade. Core view (Evolution) doesn’t tolerate or allow dissent. You can’t question the paradigm (Darwinism evolution). Open mindedness is not allowed. There is a fear of unraveling Darwinism. There is incredible complexity, but this can’t be discussed openly. Is Darwinian evolution adequate for what we see? Darwin didn’t have the microscopic element to SEE the vast complexity. There is a full frontal attack on religion….religion gets the wrong answer (God), one of them has to win, and it has to be science. Freedom is the essence of America. Freedom is what makes America great. Why do we not have the freedom to follow the evidence where ever it leads? There is more academic freedom in Poland than the U. S. A. Keep science in the box where God is NOT allowed. Truth will rise again….No lie can last forever.
Hopefully many of you will take advantage of the opportunity to see this documentary about the incredible controversy about even the possibility that Intelligent Design exists in our universe, and that you will realize the incredible fight that is going on for basically TRUTH. We are so “politically correct” that we are losing (have lost) our basic freedoms. Universities and colleges are NOT the marketplaces for free exchange of ideas, but rather the indoctrination factories of our children for one view only, the Atheistic Marxist view. Pilot asked in John 18:38 “What is Truth?” We still, in our enlightened 21st century cannot seem to figure that out. We are seeing a fulfillment of I Timothy 4 and II Timothy 3, and II Peter 3. Perhaps the greatest encouragement to Christians at this particular time in history is the confidence of knowing that God will get His job done, with or without us, He is pleased to use us as we are available, but HE is the ONE who overcomes the power of sin and death: These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. John 16:33 (Comments from Dr. Jobe Martin...Biblical Discipleship Ministries)
Evolution is a FACT, there is not a shred of evidence for intelligent design, a total incompatibility between God and science, It could be that life (by Darwinian means) could have “designed” a form of life that was “seeded”…you might find a sign of some “design . . .” Richard Dawkins
Some assorted quotes from the movie “EXPELLED” follow (as best as remembered): Creation of the earth= Lighting and the energy “managed to arrange” molecules for the primordial soup. Molecules “piggybacked” onto crystals and opened the way for natural selection from simple to complex….and a chance for life to arise on its own. Religion is the cause of all terrorism. The teaching of Intelligent Design would stunt educational growth. Why should we eliminate a possible Creator? What about academic freedom? If you want a piece of the pie you must be a good comrade. Core view (Evolution) doesn’t tolerate or allow dissent. You can’t question the paradigm (Darwinism evolution). Open mindedness is not allowed. There is a fear of unraveling Darwinism. There is incredible complexity, but this can’t be discussed openly. Is Darwinian evolution adequate for what we see? Darwin didn’t have the microscopic element to SEE the vast complexity. There is a full frontal attack on religion….religion gets the wrong answer (God), one of them has to win, and it has to be science. Freedom is the essence of America. Freedom is what makes America great. Why do we not have the freedom to follow the evidence where ever it leads? There is more academic freedom in Poland than the U. S. A. Keep science in the box where God is NOT allowed. Truth will rise again….No lie can last forever.
Hopefully many of you will take advantage of the opportunity to see this documentary about the incredible controversy about even the possibility that Intelligent Design exists in our universe, and that you will realize the incredible fight that is going on for basically TRUTH. We are so “politically correct” that we are losing (have lost) our basic freedoms. Universities and colleges are NOT the marketplaces for free exchange of ideas, but rather the indoctrination factories of our children for one view only, the Atheistic Marxist view. Pilot asked in John 18:38 “What is Truth?” We still, in our enlightened 21st century cannot seem to figure that out. We are seeing a fulfillment of I Timothy 4 and II Timothy 3, and II Peter 3. Perhaps the greatest encouragement to Christians at this particular time in history is the confidence of knowing that God will get His job done, with or without us, He is pleased to use us as we are available, but HE is the ONE who overcomes the power of sin and death: These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. John 16:33 (Comments from Dr. Jobe Martin...Biblical Discipleship Ministries)
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
The Least of These
Matt 25:37-40
37 "Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 38'And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39'When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' 40 " The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'
Recently, God has led me into a totally new ministry which is very exciting to me.... ministering to the VERY LEAST OF THESE ~ the hungry, the thirsty, the stranger, the naked!! Is there anyone LESS than a newborn, an infant or a toddler with no home?
I am humbled to serve on the Board of Directors for The Anna's House Foundation.
If you will click on that title you can peruse the website for more information.
Several months ago, Greg and Beth Harkins, the founders, were sitting in front of me in church, holding precious, little Anna. Of course, being the Mimi that I am, I had to hold her!! THAT DID IT!!! It was a God moment (hour) for me! My heart was so drawn to her heart. I already had prayed for Anna for months......ever since she had come into the Harkins' home as a foster baby with severe health problems.
Since God usually gently leads us into His plans and purposes, I was not surprised when shortly after that time in church, at a women's conference with optional local ministry workshops, I was drawn to the one for newborns in crisis and then the one for foster parenting/mentoring. That was the second "God-tapping" on my heart. And then the very next day, Beth called to ask if I would pray about serving on the Board. Needless to say, God was speaking to me loudly and clearly by now!!
So, I wanted to share this with you, just to let you know that we would love to have you pray with us about this new venture/vision in caring for the "Least of These in OKC". If, in your praying, God should lead you in a desire to become involved in any capacity with us, there is contact information on the website.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Thinking Back
Since Monty and I have had these past (almost) six weeks with many hours of being together alone,(refer back to Older Posts "Through the Valley of the Shadow"Mar 11-26) I have reflected back to our courtship and marriage before children, which was from 1964-1969. We met on a blind date (blind to me, not him) the first Sunday of my freshman year at college. Within two months we were committed to each other in a dating relationship and then married in 1966. And in those years and the first two of our married life (the third year he was flying helicopters in SE Asia) we spent a lot of time alone, talking, praying, playing......... just enjoying each other immensely.
And just today,when we were going to our second grocery store, we were talking about how much we have enjoyed spending all of this time together in his recovery from his recent heart attacks. He is getting closer to being able to drive alone and be on his own again, and I asked him if he will be glad to have that freedom from me. His reply, "Not at all!! I will miss you. I like to be with you!!"
My encouragement to those of you who are marred is to take time to be alone with each other ~ doing things you enjoy ~ even while you are busy with your "family things". Monty and I made it a habit to get away for a week-end every six months........just to keep our friendship vibrant and alive. We couldn't afford to go anywhere nice and that was not the point. It was just to connect in a relaxing setting without being interrupted. We usually swapped baby-sitting week-ends with other families. (Some got jipped because we had four children and they only had two or three!!!)
Several times we have commented on how thankful we are that we love each other so much and how hard this whole trial would have been if we did not enjoy each other's company. It is a great thing to be married to my best friend!!!
And just today,when we were going to our second grocery store, we were talking about how much we have enjoyed spending all of this time together in his recovery from his recent heart attacks. He is getting closer to being able to drive alone and be on his own again, and I asked him if he will be glad to have that freedom from me. His reply, "Not at all!! I will miss you. I like to be with you!!"
My encouragement to those of you who are marred is to take time to be alone with each other ~ doing things you enjoy ~ even while you are busy with your "family things". Monty and I made it a habit to get away for a week-end every six months........just to keep our friendship vibrant and alive. We couldn't afford to go anywhere nice and that was not the point. It was just to connect in a relaxing setting without being interrupted. We usually swapped baby-sitting week-ends with other families. (Some got jipped because we had four children and they only had two or three!!!)
Several times we have commented on how thankful we are that we love each other so much and how hard this whole trial would have been if we did not enjoy each other's company. It is a great thing to be married to my best friend!!!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Good News
Just wanted to give a brief report from our visit to the doctor today for Monty's one-week-from- dismissal-check-up!!! And it was good news on several counts. One is that he can eat protein now. Previously, I mentioned that he could only have 7 grams of protein/day. Well, on Monday I called that dietitian back to tell her that was impossible....... and she said that she meant 7 oz/day!! Poor Monty!! That was a difficult 4-5 days for him. But, Dr. Kerns said today that he did not have to limit his protein...........just the salt!! However, his creatinine has gotten higher, not lower, so the kidney function is still a concern. He did reduce some of his meds..... which we pray will change that!!
The second good news was that the doctor felt like we "have finally turned a very slow corner, but that Monty had turned it"!!! Dr. Kerns really feels like he is ready for cardiac rehab to get him strong and healthy again. He is very encouraged with the progress he is making, heart and lung wise!!! So, he gave Monty permission to start driving again...........first with me, you know, learner's permit sort of thing!!!
Later the same evening...........
Well, Monty just passed his first driving test!! We cheated death again and made it safely into the garage!!
So, we thank you all so much for your prayers for his continued recovery over the next month or so. Our next appointment for the PET scan and echo cardiogram of his heart will be May 2. We will know then how damaged his heart (that front wall) is. His on-going needs are sleeping at night and kidney function improvement.
The second good news was that the doctor felt like we "have finally turned a very slow corner, but that Monty had turned it"!!! Dr. Kerns really feels like he is ready for cardiac rehab to get him strong and healthy again. He is very encouraged with the progress he is making, heart and lung wise!!! So, he gave Monty permission to start driving again...........first with me, you know, learner's permit sort of thing!!!
Later the same evening...........
Well, Monty just passed his first driving test!! We cheated death again and made it safely into the garage!!
So, we thank you all so much for your prayers for his continued recovery over the next month or so. Our next appointment for the PET scan and echo cardiogram of his heart will be May 2. We will know then how damaged his heart (that front wall) is. His on-going needs are sleeping at night and kidney function improvement.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Encouraging Words
Sometimes it seems a strange thing how unexpectedly encouraging words can change us. With that most recent stay in the hospital (Mar 14-19), God provided us with some "Barnabas" experiences. One happened on Monday morning when I was walking the halls of the Heart Hospital while going over what was happening with one of my daughters who is in CO. Long story short, I ran into the doctor (Dr. Ghanni) who had done the procedure on Monty when he was having his second massive heart attack.
He seemed surprised to see me. When I told him that we were back because of the fluid on Monty's lung and that this had been our second trip to the ER since we had left on the 6th, he said he was sorry to hear that. But then he went on to say that with all of the events that had happened to him (7 in 7 days), it is no wonder. He explained that it is a balancing act for doctors to find the right combination of medications for each individual and sometimes dehydration occurs (the first trip back) and congestive heart failure, = fluid on the lungs, occurs. And then came the encouraging words!!! "But in a couple of months, he will be fine......back to his activities and strong again!"
I asked him if he really believed that.......to which he replied, "I have NO DOUBT!!! His heart has made it through these two things just fine and with the adjustment to his meds and some time to recover from the two blows to his heart, he will be fine!!" Now I tell you, friends, those were encouraging words!!
The second source of encouragement came from the home health nurse today when she saw him, listened to his heart and lungs and said "You sound great! Your heartbeat is strong and regular and your lungs are completely clear!"
If you have been on this journey with us the past few weeks, I hope you are encouraged by this blog and are praising the LORD with us!!
(P.S.) One prayer request: his kidney function is still in jeopardy. He can only have 7 grams of protein a day and only 1 gram of salt. Pray that either his kidney heals, or I learn soon how to make tasty food without much protein options!!!
He seemed surprised to see me. When I told him that we were back because of the fluid on Monty's lung and that this had been our second trip to the ER since we had left on the 6th, he said he was sorry to hear that. But then he went on to say that with all of the events that had happened to him (7 in 7 days), it is no wonder. He explained that it is a balancing act for doctors to find the right combination of medications for each individual and sometimes dehydration occurs (the first trip back) and congestive heart failure, = fluid on the lungs, occurs. And then came the encouraging words!!! "But in a couple of months, he will be fine......back to his activities and strong again!"
I asked him if he really believed that.......to which he replied, "I have NO DOUBT!!! His heart has made it through these two things just fine and with the adjustment to his meds and some time to recover from the two blows to his heart, he will be fine!!" Now I tell you, friends, those were encouraging words!!
The second source of encouragement came from the home health nurse today when she saw him, listened to his heart and lungs and said "You sound great! Your heartbeat is strong and regular and your lungs are completely clear!"
If you have been on this journey with us the past few weeks, I hope you are encouraged by this blog and are praising the LORD with us!!
(P.S.) One prayer request: his kidney function is still in jeopardy. He can only have 7 grams of protein a day and only 1 gram of salt. Pray that either his kidney heals, or I learn soon how to make tasty food without much protein options!!!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Through the Valley of the Shadow #7
Looking back into these events from this perspective now gives me even greater understanding of how important it is to see God's sovereignty over all. Clearly, He was orchestrating the timing of Monty's having those 7 events in 7 days, which as several nurses and physicians have said to us usually happen with heart patients over 7-10 years. No wonder they were afraid to let us go home. They were not sure of what would happen next. But, the LORD knew, and had such a great plan for us.
Mar 4 (Notes from my journal)
Still in the Heart Hospital
Well, Precious LORD, how grateful I am that I have you in my life to live this trial by the power of Your Life, Your Spirit within me. I cannot imagine how unbelievers do this.
Romans 14:7-8 None of us lives to himself [but to the Lord], and none of us dies to himself [but to the Lord, for] 8 If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or we die, we belong to the Lord. AMP
Another hard night with very little sleep, which has become the norm for me. I know that I am being sustained by Your power in answer to the many prayers my brothers and sisters are saying on my behalf. Bless them, LORD Jesus, as only You can for their faithfulness to pray for us. You have given to us the peace that surpasses all comprehension, and I know it full well. We are so blessed with such wonderful friends.
When another long time friend came in this morning, I saw tears well up in Monty’s eyes and I knew he needed time alone with him. So once again, I had everyone leave so they could say whatever was on their hearts. Monty could not talk about it all day long without getting emotional. We had so many visitors, which he thoroughly enjoyed. I know that helped all of them, also, since they had prayed so fervently for him all of this time. How blessed they were to see him looking so well.
Now it is just a matter of getting his meds all at the right levels for his clotting, fluid retention, and kidney function. I do thank You for allowing scientists to discover what they have about helping the body through medication. I know that You are sustaining Monty’s life through those means.
I praise You for the many ways You are displaying Your power and glory to others looking on. I thank You for Monty’s boldness with each of the techs and nurses who have cared for him. He made such a great statement the other day; “The one who wipes your bottom deserves the same respect as the doctor who looks into your heart! Each of them is doing their job to help him.” Thank You for giving me such a man!!
Mar 5
Heart hospital – 3 a.m.
To You, Father God, be the glory. This is all about You. It has been in Your plan which You have been unfolding before us our lifetime together. As I have been lying here for the last hour, trying to go back to sleep (which I thought I needed so much), I have been going over in my mind the events of the past 9-10 days, I see Your hand all over it. I don’t know how or where any of this information will go, but I know it has all happened for Your glory. How humbled both of us are that You would choose us as a showcase of Your grace and glory through such a trial as this. I pray that You will continue to use it to heal relationships that are broken, help others speak words of love to one another.
Thank You, thank You, thank You!! How faithful You are to answer prayers that I prayed so many years ago. Thank You that You never forget what I have asked through the years, and that it is in Your perfect way and time. Over and over I have seen Your hand in the lives of those who are coming around us and going through this process with us.
“I magnify You, O LORD. I exult Your name, for You are great and highly to be praised. I praise You for the glorious splendor of Your majesty and the power of Your awe-inspiring acts. Your power is unlimited and absolute—it is beyond imagining. You are able to do immeasurable more than we can ask or dream of. ‘There is nothing too hard for You’. “Who is like You, majestic in holiness, awesome in You praiseworthy deed?’
“O LORD Most High, You rule over the heavens and the earth, for You made all things by Your great power and You sustain them by Your mighty Word. You are exalted high above every star and galaxy in the entire cosmos…….yet You are also ‘the God of all mankind,’ the great, personally present, personally involved God who loves, rescues, and takes care of all who trust You. You exercise Your gracious authority over all nations—and over each individual in all the world. There is none like You, the true God, the living God, the everlasting King.
“I praise You for Your sovereignty over both the broad events and the details of my life. With You ‘nothing is accidental, nothing is incidental, and no experience is wasted’…… ‘You hold in Your own power my breath of life and all my destiny’…… and every trial that You allow to happen is a platform on which You reveal Yourself, showing Your love and power, both to me and to others looking on. Thank You that I can move into the future non-defensively, with hands outstretched to whatever lies ahead, for You hold the future and You will always be with me, even to my old age….and through all eternity.” 31 Days of Praise by Ruth Myers
Mar 6
Day 11 in OKla Heart Hospital
Well, after being up since 4:15, I am ready for a nap, and it is only 9 in the morning! But we are so encouraged by what Dr. Kerns said this morning. When he came in, he said, “Do you want the good news or the good news?” The creatinine had stayed the same, which is 3.0. So they believe it has made the plateau. His INR was at a 3.1, which is high, so they are stopping one of the clotting meds. So, he said, that he is sure that he can go home tomorrow. Monty was disappointed and said he thought he was going to say the good news was that he could go home today. So, Dr. Kerns said that he would see if Dr. Wilson was okay with the creatinine being there and with sending him home and that maybe we would be able to leave later this afternoon. He asked me if I was okay with that, to which I said I did not want him to go home if he had any doubts about it.
Joy, the nurse who was taking care on Monty on Saturday when he had the second heart attack, came by to see him. She had been so great that day and we became very much kindred spirits. She was so calm and so professional and quick in the time of the emergency. I told her how thankful we were that she was his nurse that day. She told us she works down in the cath lab where they do the procedures and was only up here because they were short-handed and called her to sub for someone. She knew that You, Father God, had appointed her to be here for us.
Then suddenly at 4:00, they said we could go home!! Hallelujah!! What a mighty God You are!
Mar 7
HOME
Thank You, Father God, Sovereign LORD in Whom I live and move and have my being. What a miracle worker You are. Thank You, LORD!!! This entire journey has been just one blessing after another. Your mighty hand has shown us just a tiny bit of Your power to do more than we can ask or think. I pray that You will bring to my remembrance all of the great things You have done so that I will be quick to give You the glory and the praise. I can’t help but go back to that verse You gave us the day we went into the hospital……
Psalms 27:14 Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the LORD.
Mar 8
Saturday at home
Most Gracious and Loving Father God, again, we have seen You fulfill Your word to us. How thankful I am that You have chosen to strengthen Monty’s physical heart as well as his spiritual one…………and mine………….and our children. You have lifted each of us and set us on higher ground. How thankful we are that You are the center of our lives, individually and as a family. Praise Your name. even though we are not sure how well he is really doing in his heart, I know that You are the true “Heart doctor”. And I truly do not fear whatever You have for us.
Mar 4 (Notes from my journal)
Still in the Heart Hospital
Well, Precious LORD, how grateful I am that I have you in my life to live this trial by the power of Your Life, Your Spirit within me. I cannot imagine how unbelievers do this.
Romans 14:7-8 None of us lives to himself [but to the Lord], and none of us dies to himself [but to the Lord, for] 8 If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or we die, we belong to the Lord. AMP
Another hard night with very little sleep, which has become the norm for me. I know that I am being sustained by Your power in answer to the many prayers my brothers and sisters are saying on my behalf. Bless them, LORD Jesus, as only You can for their faithfulness to pray for us. You have given to us the peace that surpasses all comprehension, and I know it full well. We are so blessed with such wonderful friends.
When another long time friend came in this morning, I saw tears well up in Monty’s eyes and I knew he needed time alone with him. So once again, I had everyone leave so they could say whatever was on their hearts. Monty could not talk about it all day long without getting emotional. We had so many visitors, which he thoroughly enjoyed. I know that helped all of them, also, since they had prayed so fervently for him all of this time. How blessed they were to see him looking so well.
Now it is just a matter of getting his meds all at the right levels for his clotting, fluid retention, and kidney function. I do thank You for allowing scientists to discover what they have about helping the body through medication. I know that You are sustaining Monty’s life through those means.
I praise You for the many ways You are displaying Your power and glory to others looking on. I thank You for Monty’s boldness with each of the techs and nurses who have cared for him. He made such a great statement the other day; “The one who wipes your bottom deserves the same respect as the doctor who looks into your heart! Each of them is doing their job to help him.” Thank You for giving me such a man!!
Mar 5
Heart hospital – 3 a.m.
To You, Father God, be the glory. This is all about You. It has been in Your plan which You have been unfolding before us our lifetime together. As I have been lying here for the last hour, trying to go back to sleep (which I thought I needed so much), I have been going over in my mind the events of the past 9-10 days, I see Your hand all over it. I don’t know how or where any of this information will go, but I know it has all happened for Your glory. How humbled both of us are that You would choose us as a showcase of Your grace and glory through such a trial as this. I pray that You will continue to use it to heal relationships that are broken, help others speak words of love to one another.
Thank You, thank You, thank You!! How faithful You are to answer prayers that I prayed so many years ago. Thank You that You never forget what I have asked through the years, and that it is in Your perfect way and time. Over and over I have seen Your hand in the lives of those who are coming around us and going through this process with us.
“I magnify You, O LORD. I exult Your name, for You are great and highly to be praised. I praise You for the glorious splendor of Your majesty and the power of Your awe-inspiring acts. Your power is unlimited and absolute—it is beyond imagining. You are able to do immeasurable more than we can ask or dream of. ‘There is nothing too hard for You’. “Who is like You, majestic in holiness, awesome in You praiseworthy deed?’
“O LORD Most High, You rule over the heavens and the earth, for You made all things by Your great power and You sustain them by Your mighty Word. You are exalted high above every star and galaxy in the entire cosmos…….yet You are also ‘the God of all mankind,’ the great, personally present, personally involved God who loves, rescues, and takes care of all who trust You. You exercise Your gracious authority over all nations—and over each individual in all the world. There is none like You, the true God, the living God, the everlasting King.
“I praise You for Your sovereignty over both the broad events and the details of my life. With You ‘nothing is accidental, nothing is incidental, and no experience is wasted’…… ‘You hold in Your own power my breath of life and all my destiny’…… and every trial that You allow to happen is a platform on which You reveal Yourself, showing Your love and power, both to me and to others looking on. Thank You that I can move into the future non-defensively, with hands outstretched to whatever lies ahead, for You hold the future and You will always be with me, even to my old age….and through all eternity.” 31 Days of Praise by Ruth Myers
Mar 6
Day 11 in OKla Heart Hospital
Well, after being up since 4:15, I am ready for a nap, and it is only 9 in the morning! But we are so encouraged by what Dr. Kerns said this morning. When he came in, he said, “Do you want the good news or the good news?” The creatinine had stayed the same, which is 3.0. So they believe it has made the plateau. His INR was at a 3.1, which is high, so they are stopping one of the clotting meds. So, he said, that he is sure that he can go home tomorrow. Monty was disappointed and said he thought he was going to say the good news was that he could go home today. So, Dr. Kerns said that he would see if Dr. Wilson was okay with the creatinine being there and with sending him home and that maybe we would be able to leave later this afternoon. He asked me if I was okay with that, to which I said I did not want him to go home if he had any doubts about it.
Joy, the nurse who was taking care on Monty on Saturday when he had the second heart attack, came by to see him. She had been so great that day and we became very much kindred spirits. She was so calm and so professional and quick in the time of the emergency. I told her how thankful we were that she was his nurse that day. She told us she works down in the cath lab where they do the procedures and was only up here because they were short-handed and called her to sub for someone. She knew that You, Father God, had appointed her to be here for us.
Then suddenly at 4:00, they said we could go home!! Hallelujah!! What a mighty God You are!
Mar 7
HOME
Thank You, Father God, Sovereign LORD in Whom I live and move and have my being. What a miracle worker You are. Thank You, LORD!!! This entire journey has been just one blessing after another. Your mighty hand has shown us just a tiny bit of Your power to do more than we can ask or think. I pray that You will bring to my remembrance all of the great things You have done so that I will be quick to give You the glory and the praise. I can’t help but go back to that verse You gave us the day we went into the hospital……
Psalms 27:14 Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the LORD.
Mar 8
Saturday at home
Most Gracious and Loving Father God, again, we have seen You fulfill Your word to us. How thankful I am that You have chosen to strengthen Monty’s physical heart as well as his spiritual one…………and mine………….and our children. You have lifted each of us and set us on higher ground. How thankful we are that You are the center of our lives, individually and as a family. Praise Your name. even though we are not sure how well he is really doing in his heart, I know that You are the true “Heart doctor”. And I truly do not fear whatever You have for us.
Through the Valley of the Shadow #6
SO much has been happening this week, that I have not even had the time to edit my journal to add a new post. I will try to wrap up this soon. It is important to share some of the details because I believe God is the God of every detail of our lives and I have seen how He sovereignly worked in such small details. One of these is shared in this post..............answer to prayers of a young teen-ager praying for her "would-be-someday-mate"!! I want each one who reads this to be encouraged to trust and obey......for this is no other way to be happy in Jesus (to quote a favorite hymn)!!
Mar 3, 2008
Oklahoma Heart Hospital
LORD God Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, Giver of life, both physical and eternal, hallowed be Your name. You are the ever present One Who controls all things by Your Omnipotence and according to Your eternal plan. I worship You as my Sovereign LORD and Savior, Who lives in me and loves me completely. How thankful I am to be in this place that You have me now, and to be experiencing Your blessings in the midst of all of this. Thank You for last night and the wonderful blessings You shower upon me as Monty’s wife. I am so humbled by the fact of the way that You have answered my many prayers I prayed as a young teen-aged girl, who wanted to serve You.
It was so special to me that when Monty was talking to Kaylyn about wanting to take his sleeping pill at 9:00 and then another one at 2:00………..and again at 4:00, if he still weren’t sleeping. Kaylyn assured him that Rachel would be here to take good care of him. He kind of paused and said, “Oh, Rachel is staying here tonight???” Kaylyn asked if that was okay……….and then asked if he wanted me........ He said he wanted me!!! And meanwhile, I was out in the hall talking on the phone and a bit disappointed that I wasn’t staying with him. Then Kaylyn came out and told me what he said. How I thank You that I am so loved by him. It warmed my heart and it turned out that we had such a great time talking through all of this and what You are doing. Thank You for allowing me to share with him all that I have seen Your hand doing in this week.
It is wonderful to have a husband who “gets it!!!” Last night when we were talking and praying, our concern was for the larger picture, larger than just our family, knowing that there were angels all around us and that thousands of people have heard about Your story in our lives. I know that You will use this whole experience in the lives of many people since Rachel has been writing about it on her blog. I read to him her blog and he relearned much of the details of this whole ordeal that he had lost in the journey, and was quite alarmed at the seriousness of it all. Thank You for the prayer time we had together, and how intimately we have been connected when we have these times alone.
Then we had a really good night of sleep………he had about 8-8 ½ hours and I had probably 6 ½ -7. It was great. And then the children all came in one by one and told of the rough nights they all had, which made my heart smile!! You gave us the blessing of a good night while You awoke them (and many others) to intercede for us. And suddenly early this morning, a dear old friend of Monty's walked in!!! Their eyes met, and Monty’s immediately filled up with tears. He came around and took his hand, and with a shaky hand Monty held on tightly. I could tell they needed to talk and so I had the children all leave with me so they could be alone.
O my God, You are doing a work here that is far greater than what we could have imagined. How could we have known that this was the way You were going to answer our prayers months ago about bringing healing in relationships!!! I found Monty, still very emotional. All he could say when I asked him how it went and what was said was that "just his presence was enough!" He said that they told each other that they loved each other. How great You are, LORD! You are the God of all love, Thank You.
Monty has been so emotional all day and has been so quick to tell others of his love for them. I think the impact of this week is just really beginning to sink in for him. He has been able to separate the urgent from the important and learn how much he is loved. We were surprised when Dr. Ghanni came in this morning to make rounds for Dr. Kerns, telling us that he had had a procedure done and would be back tomorrow. Well, we learned what the procedure was!! While Dr. Kerns was at his cabin at the lake, he began to have some of his own heart problems, called the hospital, scheduled his own surgery and his family drove him straight here on Sunday. At 2:00 p.m. they put a pacemaker/defibrillator in him. He was dismissed this morning and went home for the day.
Dr. Ghanni said that the echo cardiogram done last night showed that the front wall of the left anterior part of his heart was flat, which meant that it was not completely dead in that it did not bow up when pushed by the lower part of the beating heart. He said that it could repair since it was not bowed. Time will tell if it has any life or not. He also said that his creatinine serum (kidney) was up and that he still had fluid in his lungs. They were working on his meds to try to balance them all to get the fluid off, keep his heart rate regular, his blood pressure down and not damage the kidney, and thin his blood to prevent clotting. It was a real trick. Monty still was pretty weak, but was beginning to feel better.
After all that we had been through over the week-end, we were looking forward to a “boring” time for a change. "Boring" is a word they are looking for with heart patients here. {It has been hard for me to find the time to journal all of this, and now I am writing the rest of this several days after the fact, trying to remember details. But it is all much of a blur for me. My computer began to lose power, with an error notice that said the battery was dangerously low and to plug it in or change the battery. I always kept it plugged in, so this made no sense. Finally, Nick took care of it, called Dell, and had them send me a new adapter cord over night. But I still was without this journal for three days….this is the fourth…..and my brain is having a hard time putting the pieces in the right places. }
Some of the verses that have been so special to me that friends have shared with me: Isa 45:3 I will give you treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places, that you may know that I, the LORD, Who call you by your name, AM the God of Israel.
Psa 34: I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make its boast in the LORD; The humble shall hear of it and be glad. Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt His name together...........The angel of the LORD encamps all around those who fear HIM, and delivers them. Oh taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him.
Mar 3, 2008
Oklahoma Heart Hospital
LORD God Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, Giver of life, both physical and eternal, hallowed be Your name. You are the ever present One Who controls all things by Your Omnipotence and according to Your eternal plan. I worship You as my Sovereign LORD and Savior, Who lives in me and loves me completely. How thankful I am to be in this place that You have me now, and to be experiencing Your blessings in the midst of all of this. Thank You for last night and the wonderful blessings You shower upon me as Monty’s wife. I am so humbled by the fact of the way that You have answered my many prayers I prayed as a young teen-aged girl, who wanted to serve You.
It was so special to me that when Monty was talking to Kaylyn about wanting to take his sleeping pill at 9:00 and then another one at 2:00………..and again at 4:00, if he still weren’t sleeping. Kaylyn assured him that Rachel would be here to take good care of him. He kind of paused and said, “Oh, Rachel is staying here tonight???” Kaylyn asked if that was okay……….and then asked if he wanted me........ He said he wanted me!!! And meanwhile, I was out in the hall talking on the phone and a bit disappointed that I wasn’t staying with him. Then Kaylyn came out and told me what he said. How I thank You that I am so loved by him. It warmed my heart and it turned out that we had such a great time talking through all of this and what You are doing. Thank You for allowing me to share with him all that I have seen Your hand doing in this week.
It is wonderful to have a husband who “gets it!!!” Last night when we were talking and praying, our concern was for the larger picture, larger than just our family, knowing that there were angels all around us and that thousands of people have heard about Your story in our lives. I know that You will use this whole experience in the lives of many people since Rachel has been writing about it on her blog. I read to him her blog and he relearned much of the details of this whole ordeal that he had lost in the journey, and was quite alarmed at the seriousness of it all. Thank You for the prayer time we had together, and how intimately we have been connected when we have these times alone.
Then we had a really good night of sleep………he had about 8-8 ½ hours and I had probably 6 ½ -7. It was great. And then the children all came in one by one and told of the rough nights they all had, which made my heart smile!! You gave us the blessing of a good night while You awoke them (and many others) to intercede for us. And suddenly early this morning, a dear old friend of Monty's walked in!!! Their eyes met, and Monty’s immediately filled up with tears. He came around and took his hand, and with a shaky hand Monty held on tightly. I could tell they needed to talk and so I had the children all leave with me so they could be alone.
O my God, You are doing a work here that is far greater than what we could have imagined. How could we have known that this was the way You were going to answer our prayers months ago about bringing healing in relationships!!! I found Monty, still very emotional. All he could say when I asked him how it went and what was said was that "just his presence was enough!" He said that they told each other that they loved each other. How great You are, LORD! You are the God of all love, Thank You.
Monty has been so emotional all day and has been so quick to tell others of his love for them. I think the impact of this week is just really beginning to sink in for him. He has been able to separate the urgent from the important and learn how much he is loved. We were surprised when Dr. Ghanni came in this morning to make rounds for Dr. Kerns, telling us that he had had a procedure done and would be back tomorrow. Well, we learned what the procedure was!! While Dr. Kerns was at his cabin at the lake, he began to have some of his own heart problems, called the hospital, scheduled his own surgery and his family drove him straight here on Sunday. At 2:00 p.m. they put a pacemaker/defibrillator in him. He was dismissed this morning and went home for the day.
Dr. Ghanni said that the echo cardiogram done last night showed that the front wall of the left anterior part of his heart was flat, which meant that it was not completely dead in that it did not bow up when pushed by the lower part of the beating heart. He said that it could repair since it was not bowed. Time will tell if it has any life or not. He also said that his creatinine serum (kidney) was up and that he still had fluid in his lungs. They were working on his meds to try to balance them all to get the fluid off, keep his heart rate regular, his blood pressure down and not damage the kidney, and thin his blood to prevent clotting. It was a real trick. Monty still was pretty weak, but was beginning to feel better.
After all that we had been through over the week-end, we were looking forward to a “boring” time for a change. "Boring" is a word they are looking for with heart patients here. {It has been hard for me to find the time to journal all of this, and now I am writing the rest of this several days after the fact, trying to remember details. But it is all much of a blur for me. My computer began to lose power, with an error notice that said the battery was dangerously low and to plug it in or change the battery. I always kept it plugged in, so this made no sense. Finally, Nick took care of it, called Dell, and had them send me a new adapter cord over night. But I still was without this journal for three days….this is the fourth…..and my brain is having a hard time putting the pieces in the right places. }
Some of the verses that have been so special to me that friends have shared with me: Isa 45:3 I will give you treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places, that you may know that I, the LORD, Who call you by your name, AM the God of Israel.
Psa 34: I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make its boast in the LORD; The humble shall hear of it and be glad. Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt His name together...........The angel of the LORD encamps all around those who fear HIM, and delivers them. Oh taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Through the Valley of the Shadow #5
It has been so good for me to go back and reread my journal. Thank you for listening to me share excerpts from it. There have been other things that have happened in the lives of many others since our time spent in the hospital. I fear that if I put it all in here, I would most certainly be the only one reading it, and I have already done that!! I hope this blesses and encourages others to journal, but more importantly to "trust in the LORD with all your heart, and don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him = make Christ known, and he will make your paths straight."
Mar 2, 08 (my journal)
Last night, when I was sitting in the room and thinking Monty was asleep, I heard his voice say to me …..”Do you want to pray?” How that always warms my spirit and soothes my heart!! So I got up and we held hands as he prayed something like this “Father, You are in charge of all of this. I don’t know what You want. But if I perish, I perish. I just want to do it well for your glory!! I pray for there to be healing in relationships that need it. I trust You. In Jesus’ name. Amen!”
As I have shared many times today………could I ask for anything more from You? It doesn’t get any better than that!! You have given to me my heart’s desire, a godly husband who loves You more than his very life.
Today was another eventful day, unfortunately. However, the outcome was quickly positive in the resolve of it. This time Monty was having a hard time breathing, turned very pale. The hard part was that he had said to Kaylyn and Gwyneth that he felt like he wasn’t going to make it. They came to get me as I was in the hall visiting with some friends. Very shortly all six of us were gathered there together with tears as Monty was having such a hard time. It was for us “the shadow of death” once again. But Your Word immediately came to my mind again……..though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death........... And now as I reflect back on it:...... through = you pass through it, you don’t stay in it!! I often have meditated on that, too, and that it is a valley which means there are mountains == beauty, grandeur, height……….to which the valley leads, and it is a shadow and shadows are not the real thing. The shadow of death is very different from death itself, which has no fear. Fear comes when we are going through something, but when death has occurred, it is all over. Death is not the fear for a believer, because death is the avenue to our fulfilled hope……….life with YOU, LORD Jesus.
Back to the episode, the nurses, etc. brought in the right meds, did an ECG, working very quickly and within 15 minutes he was stabilized. Being professionals, they could recognize that it was not a heart attack, even though many symptoms were the same, but that it was congestive heart failure because of the buildup of the fluids on his lungs. Since Monty had a rough night before with very little sleep, the nurse let him rest most of the morning without getting him up or sitting him up. With all of the fluids they were flushing through him, his lungs were beginning to fill up because of his shallow breathing, a result of a weakened heart. Thus, he was having congestive heart failure, another new issue. More new medicines to adjust to the litany of others already!!
So, here I was again, wondering what You were doing that was way beyond the immediate……..in the lives of many others who are watching, praying and waiting to see how You are receiving the glory due Your name. As the many people call, email, send cards and notes, bring food, etc., I am so aware that this is all for any one of them as well as for us and our immediate family. So people continued to pour out their love and concern to us with their visits.
Once they started getting the fluids out of his lungs, he was doing so much better and continued to improve through the rest of the day and night. He began feeling much better and continued to do so. They had ordered an echocardiogram that was due to be done at 12:00. Dr Ghani had prepared us that the echo would not tell us a lot we didn’t already know, but was going to give us a baseline for future ones down the road. But, they also want to see if there is any movement in the front wall of the heart to see if it is dead or not. They know that his heart has taken a big hit and that the blood supply is not being demanded by the heart to flow through the artery. They finally came to do the echo at 7:00 P.M. and told us we probably won’t hear anything until the morning.
Rachel is planning on spending the night tonight with Monty, as she has not had much alone time with him this whole week. Since she was sick so much at the first of the week, she kept going home to go to bed and get her fever down. She was running 102+ for the first few days and has been fighting back and feeling better since getting antibiotics.. And, I think the kids are worried about me because I am not getting much sleep up here and they think I need to go home and sleep.
Gracious Father, how I depend on You and praise You for the knowledge and awareness of Your Presence in the midst of all of this. I say again, glorify Yourself in me!!
Mar 2, 08 (my journal)
Last night, when I was sitting in the room and thinking Monty was asleep, I heard his voice say to me …..”Do you want to pray?” How that always warms my spirit and soothes my heart!! So I got up and we held hands as he prayed something like this “Father, You are in charge of all of this. I don’t know what You want. But if I perish, I perish. I just want to do it well for your glory!! I pray for there to be healing in relationships that need it. I trust You. In Jesus’ name. Amen!”
As I have shared many times today………could I ask for anything more from You? It doesn’t get any better than that!! You have given to me my heart’s desire, a godly husband who loves You more than his very life.
Today was another eventful day, unfortunately. However, the outcome was quickly positive in the resolve of it. This time Monty was having a hard time breathing, turned very pale. The hard part was that he had said to Kaylyn and Gwyneth that he felt like he wasn’t going to make it. They came to get me as I was in the hall visiting with some friends. Very shortly all six of us were gathered there together with tears as Monty was having such a hard time. It was for us “the shadow of death” once again. But Your Word immediately came to my mind again……..though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death........... And now as I reflect back on it:...... through = you pass through it, you don’t stay in it!! I often have meditated on that, too, and that it is a valley which means there are mountains == beauty, grandeur, height……….to which the valley leads, and it is a shadow and shadows are not the real thing. The shadow of death is very different from death itself, which has no fear. Fear comes when we are going through something, but when death has occurred, it is all over. Death is not the fear for a believer, because death is the avenue to our fulfilled hope……….life with YOU, LORD Jesus.
Back to the episode, the nurses, etc. brought in the right meds, did an ECG, working very quickly and within 15 minutes he was stabilized. Being professionals, they could recognize that it was not a heart attack, even though many symptoms were the same, but that it was congestive heart failure because of the buildup of the fluids on his lungs. Since Monty had a rough night before with very little sleep, the nurse let him rest most of the morning without getting him up or sitting him up. With all of the fluids they were flushing through him, his lungs were beginning to fill up because of his shallow breathing, a result of a weakened heart. Thus, he was having congestive heart failure, another new issue. More new medicines to adjust to the litany of others already!!
So, here I was again, wondering what You were doing that was way beyond the immediate……..in the lives of many others who are watching, praying and waiting to see how You are receiving the glory due Your name. As the many people call, email, send cards and notes, bring food, etc., I am so aware that this is all for any one of them as well as for us and our immediate family. So people continued to pour out their love and concern to us with their visits.
Once they started getting the fluids out of his lungs, he was doing so much better and continued to improve through the rest of the day and night. He began feeling much better and continued to do so. They had ordered an echocardiogram that was due to be done at 12:00. Dr Ghani had prepared us that the echo would not tell us a lot we didn’t already know, but was going to give us a baseline for future ones down the road. But, they also want to see if there is any movement in the front wall of the heart to see if it is dead or not. They know that his heart has taken a big hit and that the blood supply is not being demanded by the heart to flow through the artery. They finally came to do the echo at 7:00 P.M. and told us we probably won’t hear anything until the morning.
Rachel is planning on spending the night tonight with Monty, as she has not had much alone time with him this whole week. Since she was sick so much at the first of the week, she kept going home to go to bed and get her fever down. She was running 102+ for the first few days and has been fighting back and feeling better since getting antibiotics.. And, I think the kids are worried about me because I am not getting much sleep up here and they think I need to go home and sleep.
Gracious Father, how I depend on You and praise You for the knowledge and awareness of Your Presence in the midst of all of this. I say again, glorify Yourself in me!!
Through the Valley of the Shadow #4
Just a quick note to update: I am trying to do this blog while we are in the hospital again. We made our third trip to the ER on Friday night (Mar 14 at 10:00). (The first ER was that Monday morning, the second ER was three days after we went home) Monty was not doing well most of the afternoon/evening, which was so the opposite of the 5 days previously. We had some friends over and watched a movie (a good recommendation: The Queen) and Monty asked me to rub his neck and shoulders, that he felt tight. If you remember..........that is what he said the Sunday night he had the heart attack at home!!! When we were getting ready for bed, I could tell he was just off. He had a fever and was breathing really hard. He had taken a nitro, which helped. I called the home health nurse who told us to go to the ER. So, it would seem that he has pheumonia and a lot of fluid on his lungs. We will be here at least tomorrow when his cardiologist will decide whether it is safe for him to go home.
So, here is my next entry from my journal:
March 1, 08….9:40 P.M.
Oklahoma Heart Hospital Day 6
O LORD God, where would I be without You. I cannot imagine. You are my Strength, my Tower, my Refuge, my Fortress, my strong Deliverer, my Peace, my Protector, my Provider, my Savior, my Friend!! My heart rejoices in You, LORD, for You are my strong shelter in times of stress. You have been the place where I have always run to as my hiding place, even from the time of my childhood!! I pray that You will be that for our children and grandchildren. I praise You for Your love and wisdom. You are too wise to ever make a mistake and too loving to ever do anything unkind. And so, tonight (which is now 10:30), after the events of the day and all that You are doing in our lives, I praise You……..I trust You…….. I wait upon You.
I need to journal the events of this day so I will not forget all Your benefits. After getting a full night’s sleep at home alone, I came up here about 8:15 and found Monty sitting up in bed and looking so well. He had just eaten a good breakfast and was saying to Kaylyn that it is so amazing that he could feel 100% after having had such a heart attack and all of the other things that had happened to him this week. He was waiting to get a shower and for the dr on call for Dr Kerns (Dr Ghanni) to come and dismiss him. We got him into the shower, which he did by himself. Then Monty sat up in the chair. After about 15 minutes, after his nurse had hooked him back up on his monitors and walked out of the room, Monty said he thought it was hot and wanted to go out for a walk and cool off. His cardiac rehab nurse was here to take him for a walk. We turned the air down. Then he said he was feeling nauseous. He said it was because of the nurse's perfume…….well, she didn’t have any perfume on!!!! Kaylyn has a really good sense of smell and she didn’t notice any perfume.
So then the color began to leave his face and we quickly helped him back in bed and I called for the nurse. She came in, turned around and called to page Dr. Ghani. She came back in and had others come to help her, got an ECG started, started him on some nitro. He began sweating profusely once again, drenching the bed, etc and was completely pale. The ECG showed he was having another heart attack right then. Within 15 minutes Dr Ghanni was here and they were prepping Monty to go back down to the cath lab to see what was causing the heart attack.
Philip, Nick and Gwyneth were on a Team Young Life bike ride out on sod farm, NE OKC, which is a 32 mile ride. And Christina was running in a 10K race. As this started happening, I received two phone calls from people who would pray. I said “Pray” and hung up. Rachel called and I stepped out of the room while they were working on Monty. When asked about the pain/pressure on his chest, he said it was worse than the time at home. I told Rachel another episode was happening. She hung up and called Nick and said she would be here as soon as she could get the children take care of. From that time of getting him into bed, it was a whirlwind. Joy, our hurse, was incredible in taking care of everything. Within an hour he was back down in the cath lab. Sovereignty.
Dr. Mark Bodenhamer, good friend of Philip's who is a renown cardiac, thoracic, heart surgeon who had been such a huge help to us, had come up and was going over everything and telling us all that was going on. Monty was having another heart attack in that same place and Dr Ghanni was a great interventionist and would go back in the brachial artery (in the arm) and look to see if the LAD had occluded above or below the stent.
Rachel arrived just as they took him down. Dr Ghanni had told us before they took him down that he was not sure what he would find when he went in there. And then he gave us the same warning of what could happen, which included death. Kaylyn and I had seen the whole thing and knew that he was in serious trouble. We went back downstairs again to the waiting room with our fourth pager now. This time felt really scary in that he was in such bad shape when they took him and he was in the middle of having the attack. The bikers were as far away from the cars as possible and it would take them an hour to ride back to the cars, and then drive all the way over here. Christina was on a 10K race and was on her way here when she finished.
While we were in the waiting room, Rachel asked me if I had cried yet. She said that she had not seen me cry and just wondered if I had done it in private. But, LORD, I know that my times………Monty’s times are in Your hands…………..and I trust You with that with all my heart. I say with the Psalmist that I do not fear bad news, nor live in dread of what may happen for I am settled in my mind that You, Jehovah, will take care of me and him. "What time I am afraid I will put my trust in You" is what I have said since I was a little girl. Now I am living that. And I assured Rachel that I do cry sometimes and that I have real emotions. About that time, a close friend (waiting with us) got up and said he had to leave, but would come back. I stood up to hug him and when I did he burst into tears, into sobs, and so did I. I told him that this has to be so hard for him because Monty is like a Father to him……….and sobbing, he said, “More than that”!! It broke my heart for him. I have asked You to use all of this in any way that would bring You glory. But here we were in the midst of this tragic time, and it was like You just turned on the faucet of my eyes to show Rachel that I can cry. It really was kind of funny, the timing of it all. You have a great sense of timing!!!
After about an hour, Dr Ghani met with us to say that the same artery had completely occluded with blood clots. He was able to suction them out as best he could, but that the part of the heart that artery feeds the blood, may be dead and not demanding the blood. Thus the blood that is there just pools. The next 48-72 hours will be critical. Philip, Christina, Nick and Gwyneth got there just as he was beginning to brief us………….Your timing once again. Sovereignty. You brought them safely back on the last half of their ride and to the hospital. What we were hearing was so much to process. Mark came in shortly after Dr. Ghanni had started and pretty much repeated it all and then some. The options are nil right now and it is up to God and Monty to work this out. Mark said to keep our fingers crossed and with some good luck, he will be fine. (That did not work for me since I know You!)
Tomorrow they will do an echocardiogram to see how much of the heart is dead and not functioning to have a better idea of what the next step might be. His kidneys seem to be doing better handling the dyes and will be flushed again. It was all kind of a blur. It was a shock to all of us. I have known for a long time that You were about to do something…………and Monty and I had even talked and prayed about such things. We are more than happy to be Your agents of reconciliation and to share the goodness and peace of Your forgiveness. Your forgiveness is more real to us when we are ministers of that forgiveness to others. So, I say again, use us for Your glory alone.
Joy told me tonight before she went off shift, as she gave me a big hug, that she loved our family and was so impressed with us and our love for each other that was obvious. I told her that if she would be a woman of the Word and let You rule in her life as she trained their children, that this could be her family 30 years from now. She was a believer and full of Your joy and peace. We loved her and I ask You to use this in her life for years to come. She was such a blessing to us today!!!!!
So, here is my next entry from my journal:
March 1, 08….9:40 P.M.
Oklahoma Heart Hospital Day 6
O LORD God, where would I be without You. I cannot imagine. You are my Strength, my Tower, my Refuge, my Fortress, my strong Deliverer, my Peace, my Protector, my Provider, my Savior, my Friend!! My heart rejoices in You, LORD, for You are my strong shelter in times of stress. You have been the place where I have always run to as my hiding place, even from the time of my childhood!! I pray that You will be that for our children and grandchildren. I praise You for Your love and wisdom. You are too wise to ever make a mistake and too loving to ever do anything unkind. And so, tonight (which is now 10:30), after the events of the day and all that You are doing in our lives, I praise You……..I trust You…….. I wait upon You.
I need to journal the events of this day so I will not forget all Your benefits. After getting a full night’s sleep at home alone, I came up here about 8:15 and found Monty sitting up in bed and looking so well. He had just eaten a good breakfast and was saying to Kaylyn that it is so amazing that he could feel 100% after having had such a heart attack and all of the other things that had happened to him this week. He was waiting to get a shower and for the dr on call for Dr Kerns (Dr Ghanni) to come and dismiss him. We got him into the shower, which he did by himself. Then Monty sat up in the chair. After about 15 minutes, after his nurse had hooked him back up on his monitors and walked out of the room, Monty said he thought it was hot and wanted to go out for a walk and cool off. His cardiac rehab nurse was here to take him for a walk. We turned the air down. Then he said he was feeling nauseous. He said it was because of the nurse's perfume…….well, she didn’t have any perfume on!!!! Kaylyn has a really good sense of smell and she didn’t notice any perfume.
So then the color began to leave his face and we quickly helped him back in bed and I called for the nurse. She came in, turned around and called to page Dr. Ghani. She came back in and had others come to help her, got an ECG started, started him on some nitro. He began sweating profusely once again, drenching the bed, etc and was completely pale. The ECG showed he was having another heart attack right then. Within 15 minutes Dr Ghanni was here and they were prepping Monty to go back down to the cath lab to see what was causing the heart attack.
Philip, Nick and Gwyneth were on a Team Young Life bike ride out on sod farm, NE OKC, which is a 32 mile ride. And Christina was running in a 10K race. As this started happening, I received two phone calls from people who would pray. I said “Pray” and hung up. Rachel called and I stepped out of the room while they were working on Monty. When asked about the pain/pressure on his chest, he said it was worse than the time at home. I told Rachel another episode was happening. She hung up and called Nick and said she would be here as soon as she could get the children take care of. From that time of getting him into bed, it was a whirlwind. Joy, our hurse, was incredible in taking care of everything. Within an hour he was back down in the cath lab. Sovereignty.
Dr. Mark Bodenhamer, good friend of Philip's who is a renown cardiac, thoracic, heart surgeon who had been such a huge help to us, had come up and was going over everything and telling us all that was going on. Monty was having another heart attack in that same place and Dr Ghanni was a great interventionist and would go back in the brachial artery (in the arm) and look to see if the LAD had occluded above or below the stent.
Rachel arrived just as they took him down. Dr Ghanni had told us before they took him down that he was not sure what he would find when he went in there. And then he gave us the same warning of what could happen, which included death. Kaylyn and I had seen the whole thing and knew that he was in serious trouble. We went back downstairs again to the waiting room with our fourth pager now. This time felt really scary in that he was in such bad shape when they took him and he was in the middle of having the attack. The bikers were as far away from the cars as possible and it would take them an hour to ride back to the cars, and then drive all the way over here. Christina was on a 10K race and was on her way here when she finished.
While we were in the waiting room, Rachel asked me if I had cried yet. She said that she had not seen me cry and just wondered if I had done it in private. But, LORD, I know that my times………Monty’s times are in Your hands…………..and I trust You with that with all my heart. I say with the Psalmist that I do not fear bad news, nor live in dread of what may happen for I am settled in my mind that You, Jehovah, will take care of me and him. "What time I am afraid I will put my trust in You" is what I have said since I was a little girl. Now I am living that. And I assured Rachel that I do cry sometimes and that I have real emotions. About that time, a close friend (waiting with us) got up and said he had to leave, but would come back. I stood up to hug him and when I did he burst into tears, into sobs, and so did I. I told him that this has to be so hard for him because Monty is like a Father to him……….and sobbing, he said, “More than that”!! It broke my heart for him. I have asked You to use all of this in any way that would bring You glory. But here we were in the midst of this tragic time, and it was like You just turned on the faucet of my eyes to show Rachel that I can cry. It really was kind of funny, the timing of it all. You have a great sense of timing!!!
After about an hour, Dr Ghani met with us to say that the same artery had completely occluded with blood clots. He was able to suction them out as best he could, but that the part of the heart that artery feeds the blood, may be dead and not demanding the blood. Thus the blood that is there just pools. The next 48-72 hours will be critical. Philip, Christina, Nick and Gwyneth got there just as he was beginning to brief us………….Your timing once again. Sovereignty. You brought them safely back on the last half of their ride and to the hospital. What we were hearing was so much to process. Mark came in shortly after Dr. Ghanni had started and pretty much repeated it all and then some. The options are nil right now and it is up to God and Monty to work this out. Mark said to keep our fingers crossed and with some good luck, he will be fine. (That did not work for me since I know You!)
Tomorrow they will do an echocardiogram to see how much of the heart is dead and not functioning to have a better idea of what the next step might be. His kidneys seem to be doing better handling the dyes and will be flushed again. It was all kind of a blur. It was a shock to all of us. I have known for a long time that You were about to do something…………and Monty and I had even talked and prayed about such things. We are more than happy to be Your agents of reconciliation and to share the goodness and peace of Your forgiveness. Your forgiveness is more real to us when we are ministers of that forgiveness to others. So, I say again, use us for Your glory alone.
Joy told me tonight before she went off shift, as she gave me a big hug, that she loved our family and was so impressed with us and our love for each other that was obvious. I told her that if she would be a woman of the Word and let You rule in her life as she trained their children, that this could be her family 30 years from now. She was a believer and full of Your joy and peace. We loved her and I ask You to use this in her life for years to come. She was such a blessing to us today!!!!!
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Through the Valley of the Shadow #3
More excerpts from my prayer journal:
One of the wonderful nurses who had taken care of Monty, told us before she was leaving for the night that she would not be back and that she wanted us to know that we were a blessed family. She said she could not tell us before, but that the stents were put into the artery called the “widow maker” because most of those who have blockage there don’t make it!!! It is the largest and most important artery in the heart…………the Left Anterior Descending Artery!!! The first thing that came to my mind was the verse You gave us on Monday in my One Year………….Psa 27:14 “Wait on the LORD. Be of good courage. He will strengthen your heart. I say, wait on the LORD!!!!!” Praise Your name. You are worthy of our trust and praise. You have strengthened his heart, in more ways than one!!! Sovereignty. We did not go home today as they had thought!!! You are still using all of this for Your glory!! I pray for that nurse to see You in us.
What a great day of rejoicing Wednesday was……………until that night when I was here alone with Monty!! At 10:00 p.m., he suddenly groaned…….when I was writing in this journal. As I got up to check on him, the alarm on his monitor began going off loudly and people started rushing in……..his new nurse, a wonderful man and several others. His heart rate had suddenly jumped to 160 and he began complaining of his chest pressure. He was sweating profusely. When asked how much pressure he said a 4. It was horrible to watch him suffering so. After about 5 hours of trying different medicines and amounts (3 A.M.), it finally went from Atrial Fib to sinus, which is the normal rhythm and remained in the right rhythm the rest of the day. But then, about 4:30 P.M., he began to have pain in his left shoulder and when asked this time, he said it was a 5, which was the highest so far. They gave him Nitro, some pain medicine, & took an EKG (or as I heard recently an ECG), which showed no attack, but was still called heart pain or angina. They got that calmed down. Thank You for competent people who are your instruments for Your Sovereign plan.
When the nurse change over occurred at 7:00 P.M., the new nurse was standing by him to do his evaluation and noticed his rate suddenly jump to 166 and then boom………he was back into Atrial Fib and it was staying so high and bounced back and forth. But this time, he showed no reaction to it. His body was tolerating it………… without the sweats, chest pain or anything else. In fact, we were rather amazed that he was not having any signs of stress. If we had been home, I would not have known. Thank You that You still have us here......sovereignty. The new nurse, another guy was really indoctrinated quickly into the Churchill saga You were creating. This time he stayed really high in A fib.
Thank You so much for the way You are using all of this in so many lives, healing relationships, creating open conversations that needed to happen. I have thought about a great verse in Eccl............"Better to go to a house of mourning than a house of feasting, for that is the end of all men, and the living will take it to heart".....7:2, I think. For the many people who are being affected by all of this, not that it is a house of mourning, for sure, but it is a time for the living to reflect. I pray that it will go well with their discussions and following up in communicating their love for each other.
I know that You are answering prayers that Monty and I prayed so long ago.
Finally, after several hours they still were not able to get him out of Atrial Fib, but they did get the beat lowered to a more tolerable rate, that being under 100. He was still in A Fib all day today. Dr Kerns was concerned that possibly his artery to his kidney was causing the whole issue of the high blood pressure, by constriction in it and that the hormone secreted by the kidney to protect it was able to be changed. So an ultrasound of his kidneys was done today, but they all seemed to be normal. SO, it would mean that Monty is left to take the medicine that has higher risk of side effects that Dr. Kerns does not want him to have to take. But the safer ones were not working. And the other thing he doesn’t want to do is put him on Coumadin since he is already on another blood medication, Plavix, after having a heart attack.
How great it is to have that quiet confidence that You are in complete control.....of kidneys, of blood clots, of heart rhythms!!! We are fearfully and wonderfully made!! You are a great Creator and Sustainer of life. In you we live and move and have our being!!
O Father God, how great You are and greatly to be praised. You are so worthy of all praise and worship. Today at 5:00 P.M., the medicine worked and he converted back to sinus rhythm. He all of a sudden perked up and is doing so much better. We all shouted with joy because we knew he had turned a corner. It meant that he might be able to go home this week-end after all. How good You are!! It is good to see Monty’s smile back and his warm personality.
Another one of the ways I have seen You provide Your grace to me has been through the many calls, emails and visits of Your messengers who love us. I am asking You to bless them and richly reward them as only You can for their acts of kindness to us.
Once again, I want to leave you on the same positive note we were all experiencing at the end of Day 5, Friday.
One of the wonderful nurses who had taken care of Monty, told us before she was leaving for the night that she would not be back and that she wanted us to know that we were a blessed family. She said she could not tell us before, but that the stents were put into the artery called the “widow maker” because most of those who have blockage there don’t make it!!! It is the largest and most important artery in the heart…………the Left Anterior Descending Artery!!! The first thing that came to my mind was the verse You gave us on Monday in my One Year………….Psa 27:14 “Wait on the LORD. Be of good courage. He will strengthen your heart. I say, wait on the LORD!!!!!” Praise Your name. You are worthy of our trust and praise. You have strengthened his heart, in more ways than one!!! Sovereignty. We did not go home today as they had thought!!! You are still using all of this for Your glory!! I pray for that nurse to see You in us.
What a great day of rejoicing Wednesday was……………until that night when I was here alone with Monty!! At 10:00 p.m., he suddenly groaned…….when I was writing in this journal. As I got up to check on him, the alarm on his monitor began going off loudly and people started rushing in……..his new nurse, a wonderful man and several others. His heart rate had suddenly jumped to 160 and he began complaining of his chest pressure. He was sweating profusely. When asked how much pressure he said a 4. It was horrible to watch him suffering so. After about 5 hours of trying different medicines and amounts (3 A.M.), it finally went from Atrial Fib to sinus, which is the normal rhythm and remained in the right rhythm the rest of the day. But then, about 4:30 P.M., he began to have pain in his left shoulder and when asked this time, he said it was a 5, which was the highest so far. They gave him Nitro, some pain medicine, & took an EKG (or as I heard recently an ECG), which showed no attack, but was still called heart pain or angina. They got that calmed down. Thank You for competent people who are your instruments for Your Sovereign plan.
When the nurse change over occurred at 7:00 P.M., the new nurse was standing by him to do his evaluation and noticed his rate suddenly jump to 166 and then boom………he was back into Atrial Fib and it was staying so high and bounced back and forth. But this time, he showed no reaction to it. His body was tolerating it………… without the sweats, chest pain or anything else. In fact, we were rather amazed that he was not having any signs of stress. If we had been home, I would not have known. Thank You that You still have us here......sovereignty. The new nurse, another guy was really indoctrinated quickly into the Churchill saga You were creating. This time he stayed really high in A fib.
Thank You so much for the way You are using all of this in so many lives, healing relationships, creating open conversations that needed to happen. I have thought about a great verse in Eccl............"Better to go to a house of mourning than a house of feasting, for that is the end of all men, and the living will take it to heart".....7:2, I think. For the many people who are being affected by all of this, not that it is a house of mourning, for sure, but it is a time for the living to reflect. I pray that it will go well with their discussions and following up in communicating their love for each other.
I know that You are answering prayers that Monty and I prayed so long ago.
Finally, after several hours they still were not able to get him out of Atrial Fib, but they did get the beat lowered to a more tolerable rate, that being under 100. He was still in A Fib all day today. Dr Kerns was concerned that possibly his artery to his kidney was causing the whole issue of the high blood pressure, by constriction in it and that the hormone secreted by the kidney to protect it was able to be changed. So an ultrasound of his kidneys was done today, but they all seemed to be normal. SO, it would mean that Monty is left to take the medicine that has higher risk of side effects that Dr. Kerns does not want him to have to take. But the safer ones were not working. And the other thing he doesn’t want to do is put him on Coumadin since he is already on another blood medication, Plavix, after having a heart attack.
How great it is to have that quiet confidence that You are in complete control.....of kidneys, of blood clots, of heart rhythms!!! We are fearfully and wonderfully made!! You are a great Creator and Sustainer of life. In you we live and move and have our being!!
O Father God, how great You are and greatly to be praised. You are so worthy of all praise and worship. Today at 5:00 P.M., the medicine worked and he converted back to sinus rhythm. He all of a sudden perked up and is doing so much better. We all shouted with joy because we knew he had turned a corner. It meant that he might be able to go home this week-end after all. How good You are!! It is good to see Monty’s smile back and his warm personality.
Another one of the ways I have seen You provide Your grace to me has been through the many calls, emails and visits of Your messengers who love us. I am asking You to bless them and richly reward them as only You can for their acts of kindness to us.
Once again, I want to leave you on the same positive note we were all experiencing at the end of Day 5, Friday.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Through the Valley of the Shadow #2
Now these will be some excerpts from my prayer journal:
Within 45-50 minutes from the time we had walked into the ER, they had changed the cath lab schedule ….moving someone back who was not an emergency…and had him in there doing a procedure on him. That was the next sign of His sovereignty.
Within 45-50 minutes from the time we had walked into the ER, they had changed the cath lab schedule ….moving someone back who was not an emergency…and had him in there doing a procedure on him. That was the next sign of His sovereignty.
Well, more and more people were contacting us, praying, coming by and calling or emailing. IT was such a blessing to be able to tell them that I was living in the reality of Your sovereignty and that I truly was fine through it all. I know that You are my sufficiency and adequacy. I love You, LORD.
Kaylyn and Gwyneth arrived from Denver around 7:30 P.M. It is good to have them here with us. Gwyneth wanted to stay the night with him so I could go home and get some sleep, after being up for two nights in a row.
On Wednesday morning, Monty was sitting up in bed. It was such a pleasant surprise. He was getting tired and wanted to lie back down in bed. The nurse had said that she thought their plan was to get him on the right blood thinners, and the right blood pressure medicine and get his kidneys safe again by flushing him with fluids….. since he had the dye the second time for the CT scan………which had shown that they could not go through the left femoral artery either because his just happened to be made that way…………..kinky and twisted. So the only other way was to try the brachial artery in the arm which is much smaller and a little more difficult. But they would wait and have us go home on the meds and then come back in a week.
Once again, that was their plan and not Yours. Already we had asked that they would be able to get into the heart the first time. You said “No!” and I believe that was from You and for Your glory and purposes. You needed more time to do what You wanted to do with this whole situation. They tried the 2nd time and again, You said “No!” And this 3rd time, they had their plans, to send us home for a week..... .and You said “No!” Which I am so glad that You are in control!!! All of a sudden Monty began feeling pain in his chest and was once again saying he was “uncomfortable”. This time when they asked him how bad, he was he said that it was about a 3 in pressure.
By 10:45 the pager went off that Dr Kerns was ready to meet with us……….Kelley joined us to take notes once again and be our secretary on the details. The first words out of Dr. Kerns’ mouth were “The LORD was with me!” He was able to get straight into the heart, the bigger clots had dissolved, he was able to put in the two stents in the LAD artery and clean up most everything. It could not have gone better. Praise You, LORD!!! That was in answer to the many prayers of many righteous people whom You dearly love and who dearly love You!!! Thank You for such great news. What a glorious celebration!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Through The Valley of the Shadow
Since it has been a while since I have blogged I am quite certain this will take more than one post. The LORD has begun taking Monty and me on an interesting journey.
Over the past year or so, we both have felt that God was leading us into a different direction for ministry, but we just were waiting upon Him to give us the specifics. To give you a bit of background...... we have been working with college aged and post college young adults for the past 15 years, teaching Sunday School & home Bible studies. For 20 years before that we were high school sponsors/Sunday School teachers, etc. Now that we are in our 60's, we have wondered if the LORD were taking us in a different direction. Both of us have been open to the possibility of a change and have even discussed that maybe we should go to early childhood and give the parents of the young children a break. God has already made a couple of changes in my personal teaching ministry this past year. We have been anticipating some sort of change in our lives.
SO with that said, I want to begin sharing the events of the past month. Monty had been having some physical problems for the past year or so. The first of February we had just begun getting some directions from doctors for possible diagnosis. One of the things that showed up was high blood pressure, for which he began taking medicine. About this same time, both of us got the virus/bacteria, etc. that was spreading in OKC in epidemic proportions. It took more than two weeks for us to begin to feel anything close to well.
Meanwhile, I had been asking the LORD to show me what to do and where to go to find help for Monty and his health problems. Then on Sunday night,Feb 27, we had been to church and stopped for something to eat. Monty only wanted a bowl of soup, which was a little unusual, but I thought he might be getting the "bug" back. The whole night, neither of us slept. He just tossed and turned, got up and wandered through the house. About 4 in the morning, as we were lying in bed, he said he was "uncomfortable". When I asked him if he hurt anywhere, sort of expecting him to describe flu-like symptoms again, he said he had "pressure". I asked him where his pressure was and he asked me if I would rub his neck and shoulders. I knew that he had a really important luncheon meeting the next day, and assumed he was uptight about it.
Now I want to take you into my spiritual journey!! While we were awake most of that night, I got up and wrote in my journal, asking the LORD to just show me what to do with Monty and the various symptoms he was having, not just that night, but for the past 14-16 months. I asked Him if I should seek natural pathology as an alternative, trying to find other things to help him. I told Him I would do whatever He showed me, but I just needed Him to show me. And as I lay there next to Monty, I just kept praying for wisdom and guidance
The next morning he got up and dressed to meet a young man he has been mentoring the past several months. So I figured he felt better since he didn't say anything about not feeling well. I went to my 8:15 appointment and asked the dr. whom he suggested for a homeopathic directions for Monty's high blood pressure we had just discovered. I drove straight to that place, but it was a dead end, in that there was no one there at that time who could help me. I was to call back at 9:00. Then right after that Monty called me and said he wanted me to take him to the Heart Hospital ER. His answer to my question as to why, was that at breakfast he was nauseous and both of his arms were numb. I hung up the phone and immediately thanked the LORD, saying "Now that is what I am talking about. I can understand that and do somethng that clear!!!"
That began the spiritual clarity of God's sovereign grace over the whole trial He had for us. The next came in the ER. I had on my list for that day to call for an appointment for Monty with Dr. Chris Kerns, the cardiologist who had taken care of Mother, knowing it could be 3-6 months for a new patient appointment. But when they asked me in the ER who his cardiologist was, I, of course, said Dr. Kerns. They asked Monty why he was seeing Dr. Kerns, to which Monty replied that he had never met him. Long story short, Dr. Kerns was in that ER cubicle within 30 minutes after we arrived (much to the surprise of the ER personnel)!! They told us "he was not the cardiologist on call".....to which I thought......he is on God's call!!! He is a godly man who took us, I believe, because God had called him to respond to our request!! (so much for the 3-6 months for an appointment!!) Soveriengty. It was a total shock to both of us when he told us that according to the EKG, Monty had had a major heart attack last night!! We had no idea!!
About an hour later when Dr. Kerns came to talk to us after the angiogram, he made the comment again that if I had brought him in when he was having the heart attack the night before, it would have been better because they could have gotten into the heart before it was all clotted, as it was this morning. Another sovereignty thing.....God did not tell me to take him in..........or that he was having a heart attack. Monty had no "typical symptoms" like you always hear. God chose to keep us in the dark about his heart attack because He had something much bigger in mind and it would not happen if we were in and out of the hospital in short order!!!
Over and over, I have believed and taught.........."Learn in the light what you will need to live in the dark!!" Now I was living the truth I have spent a lifetime learning from the WORD. In my next post, I want to share parts of my journal from our 11 days in the hospital and ways I saw God's hand in all of this.
But first, I want to leave you with a verse that was in my Bible reading for that day. Psa 24:17 "Wait on the LORD. Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, upon the LORD."
One note: often in the OT, wait is used as "trust in"!! It is active faith. We live by faith in the Son of God Who loved us and gave Himself up for us!!!
Over the past year or so, we both have felt that God was leading us into a different direction for ministry, but we just were waiting upon Him to give us the specifics. To give you a bit of background...... we have been working with college aged and post college young adults for the past 15 years, teaching Sunday School & home Bible studies. For 20 years before that we were high school sponsors/Sunday School teachers, etc. Now that we are in our 60's, we have wondered if the LORD were taking us in a different direction. Both of us have been open to the possibility of a change and have even discussed that maybe we should go to early childhood and give the parents of the young children a break. God has already made a couple of changes in my personal teaching ministry this past year. We have been anticipating some sort of change in our lives.
SO with that said, I want to begin sharing the events of the past month. Monty had been having some physical problems for the past year or so. The first of February we had just begun getting some directions from doctors for possible diagnosis. One of the things that showed up was high blood pressure, for which he began taking medicine. About this same time, both of us got the virus/bacteria, etc. that was spreading in OKC in epidemic proportions. It took more than two weeks for us to begin to feel anything close to well.
Meanwhile, I had been asking the LORD to show me what to do and where to go to find help for Monty and his health problems. Then on Sunday night,Feb 27, we had been to church and stopped for something to eat. Monty only wanted a bowl of soup, which was a little unusual, but I thought he might be getting the "bug" back. The whole night, neither of us slept. He just tossed and turned, got up and wandered through the house. About 4 in the morning, as we were lying in bed, he said he was "uncomfortable". When I asked him if he hurt anywhere, sort of expecting him to describe flu-like symptoms again, he said he had "pressure". I asked him where his pressure was and he asked me if I would rub his neck and shoulders. I knew that he had a really important luncheon meeting the next day, and assumed he was uptight about it.
Now I want to take you into my spiritual journey!! While we were awake most of that night, I got up and wrote in my journal, asking the LORD to just show me what to do with Monty and the various symptoms he was having, not just that night, but for the past 14-16 months. I asked Him if I should seek natural pathology as an alternative, trying to find other things to help him. I told Him I would do whatever He showed me, but I just needed Him to show me. And as I lay there next to Monty, I just kept praying for wisdom and guidance
The next morning he got up and dressed to meet a young man he has been mentoring the past several months. So I figured he felt better since he didn't say anything about not feeling well. I went to my 8:15 appointment and asked the dr. whom he suggested for a homeopathic directions for Monty's high blood pressure we had just discovered. I drove straight to that place, but it was a dead end, in that there was no one there at that time who could help me. I was to call back at 9:00. Then right after that Monty called me and said he wanted me to take him to the Heart Hospital ER. His answer to my question as to why, was that at breakfast he was nauseous and both of his arms were numb. I hung up the phone and immediately thanked the LORD, saying "Now that is what I am talking about. I can understand that and do somethng that clear!!!"
That began the spiritual clarity of God's sovereign grace over the whole trial He had for us. The next came in the ER. I had on my list for that day to call for an appointment for Monty with Dr. Chris Kerns, the cardiologist who had taken care of Mother, knowing it could be 3-6 months for a new patient appointment. But when they asked me in the ER who his cardiologist was, I, of course, said Dr. Kerns. They asked Monty why he was seeing Dr. Kerns, to which Monty replied that he had never met him. Long story short, Dr. Kerns was in that ER cubicle within 30 minutes after we arrived (much to the surprise of the ER personnel)!! They told us "he was not the cardiologist on call".....to which I thought......he is on God's call!!! He is a godly man who took us, I believe, because God had called him to respond to our request!! (so much for the 3-6 months for an appointment!!) Soveriengty. It was a total shock to both of us when he told us that according to the EKG, Monty had had a major heart attack last night!! We had no idea!!
About an hour later when Dr. Kerns came to talk to us after the angiogram, he made the comment again that if I had brought him in when he was having the heart attack the night before, it would have been better because they could have gotten into the heart before it was all clotted, as it was this morning. Another sovereignty thing.....God did not tell me to take him in..........or that he was having a heart attack. Monty had no "typical symptoms" like you always hear. God chose to keep us in the dark about his heart attack because He had something much bigger in mind and it would not happen if we were in and out of the hospital in short order!!!
Over and over, I have believed and taught.........."Learn in the light what you will need to live in the dark!!" Now I was living the truth I have spent a lifetime learning from the WORD. In my next post, I want to share parts of my journal from our 11 days in the hospital and ways I saw God's hand in all of this.
But first, I want to leave you with a verse that was in my Bible reading for that day. Psa 24:17 "Wait on the LORD. Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, upon the LORD."
One note: often in the OT, wait is used as "trust in"!! It is active faith. We live by faith in the Son of God Who loved us and gave Himself up for us!!!
Friday, February 22, 2008
Encrusted Sin
Recently, I had made a huge pot of Black Bean Chicken Chili (a family favorite) for some friends. I had not watched it carefully enough after having added the sharp cheddar cheese, and thus was left with a bit of a messy pan to clean. You know how it is with some pots where it cooked onto the bottom a bit more than you would have wanted, knowing it would take great effort to get it back to its original shape!!!?? Spic and Span clean??? Well, this was one of those times.
And while I was leaning over the sink, scrubbing for longer than I wanted or intended, God began to speak to me in that still small voice about my sin. It was not in an accusatory nor condemning voice.......the enemy of our souls does that.........not my Redeemer and Friend. But, He reminded me of how stubborn some of my sins are that have some residue left in the "bottom" of my life. It takes some real work to loosen the dirt of them. It is those ones that others may not notice so much, but I know that they are there..........selfishness, irritations, rationalizations, procrastinations, and even wastefulness. "The little foxes that spoil the vine", hindering true spiritual growth where there otherwise would be if those stubborn spots were gone.
So, I agreed with the LORD, about my dirty heart and proceeded to go about the business of being washed clean by the water of the Word and the blood of Jesus that cleanses me from ALL sin. I love that He doesn't overlook the stuff that is "stuck and harder to get off", but patiently speaks to me at my kitchen sink, or wherever it is that I am in need of some "pot scrubbing"!
And while I was leaning over the sink, scrubbing for longer than I wanted or intended, God began to speak to me in that still small voice about my sin. It was not in an accusatory nor condemning voice.......the enemy of our souls does that.........not my Redeemer and Friend. But, He reminded me of how stubborn some of my sins are that have some residue left in the "bottom" of my life. It takes some real work to loosen the dirt of them. It is those ones that others may not notice so much, but I know that they are there..........selfishness, irritations, rationalizations, procrastinations, and even wastefulness. "The little foxes that spoil the vine", hindering true spiritual growth where there otherwise would be if those stubborn spots were gone.
So, I agreed with the LORD, about my dirty heart and proceeded to go about the business of being washed clean by the water of the Word and the blood of Jesus that cleanses me from ALL sin. I love that He doesn't overlook the stuff that is "stuck and harder to get off", but patiently speaks to me at my kitchen sink, or wherever it is that I am in need of some "pot scrubbing"!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)